489 lines
19 KiB
Plaintext
489 lines
19 KiB
Plaintext
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The mini-Journal of Irreproducible Results ("mini-JIR")
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Issue Number 1993-02
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December, 1993
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ISSN 1072-7159
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Key words:science humor,irreproducible results,Ig Nobel
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The Official Electronic mini-Organ of the Society for Basic
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Irreproducible Research
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Produced jointly by
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The Journal of Irreproducible Results (JIR) and
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The MIT Museum
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1993-02-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS
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1993-02-01 Table of Contents
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1993-02-02 Purpose of the mini-Journal (*)
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1993-02-03 Abstracts from JIR, vol. 38, no. 6, Nov/Dec 93
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1993-02-04 Testifying to Congress: Our New Service
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1993-02-05 JIR Recommends
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1993-02-06 Warning: mini-JIR and the Expanding Universe
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1993-02-07 Upcoming Events at the MIT Museum and Elsewhere
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1993-02-08 Calls for Papers and Nominations
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1993-02-09 How to Submit Articles to JIR (*)
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1993-02-10 How to Subscribe (*)
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1993-02-11 Copyright Notice (*)
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1993-02-12 Irreproducible Section (*)
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Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue.
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1993-02-02 Purpose of the mini-Journal (*)
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The mini-Journal of Irreproducible Results publishes news
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about overly stimulating research and ideas. Specifically:
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A) Haphazardly selected superficial (but advanced!) extracts
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of research news and satire from the Journal of
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Irreproducible Results (JIR).
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B) News about the annual Ig Nobel Prize ceremony. Ig Nobel
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Prizes honor "achievements that cannot or should not be
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reproduced." A public ceremony is held at MIT, in Cambridge
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Massachusetts, every autumn. The ceremony is sponsored
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jointly by JIR and by the MIT Museum.
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C) News about other science humor activities conducted by
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the MIT Museum and JIR.
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1993-02-03 Abstracts from JIR, vol. 38, no. 6, Nov/Dec 93
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This section contains abstracts of articles that appear in
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volume 39, number 6 (the November/December 1993 issue) of
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The Journal of Irreproducible Results (JIR).
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[PLEASE NOTE: JIR 38:6 is a special theme issue on the
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subject of "Politically Incorrect Science."]
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| FOR FULL TEXT (including lurid |
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| photographs) OF THESE ARTICLES |
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| SEE THE CURRENT ISSUE OF JIR. |
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"The Saluting Fetus," by Carol B. Benson, M.D., and Peter M.
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Doubilet.
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A sonogram depicts a human fetus in the saluting position.
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"The Mappeltree Soviet Science/Art Controversy," by Bruce
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Gellerman.
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A U.S. Senator is attempting to ban the showing of allegedly
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"obscene" photomicrographs collected by NIH archivist Roger
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Mappeltree. The issue is complex; the works were purchased
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from agencies of the former Soviet Union under a funding
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program that the Senator himself sponsored.
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"The Politically Correct Periodic Table of the Elements," by
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Robert Rose.
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The author has revised the periodic table of the elements,
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eliminating all sources of toxicity, pollution and
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radiation, all isotopes and artificial elements, all sources
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of greenhouse gases, and all causes of hypertension.
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"The Guide to Politically Correct Cardiology," by Thomas
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Michel.
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The nomenclature of specific diagnoses may profoundly affect
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a patient's well-being, self-image, and time to full
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recovery. For example, a diagnosis of heart failure is
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belittling, in that it says to the patient, "your heart has
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failed." This guide provides more correct terminology.
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"Virtual Academia -- Year 1 Report," by Anne Pamsum
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Hufnagle-Chang and Viktor Asa Gupta-Duffy.
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The authors report on the first year of a 16-universitiy
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virtual reality project designed to replace many costly
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aspects of today's universities. In these universities,
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students, professors, classrooms, offices, and dormitory
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facilites exist only as computer-based concepts.
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"An Empirical Investigation of Multicultural Diversity," by
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Bruce McAfee.
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Two radically different approaches to promoting
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multicultural diversity were studied. One university
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conducted an extensive, expensive program of courses,
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internships, workshops, etc. The other used a "smoke and
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mirrors" approach. Both systems were found to be effective.
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"Research Funding: New Art," by Stanley Rudin.
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A photograph depicts a newly discovered artwork (Greco-
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Hebrew, 5th century Athens, 2nd millenium Los Angeles)
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portraying scientists in pursuit of funding for a study of
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wealthy mice while an ethics committee and the Owl of Athena
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look on.
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"The Pet Silicone Implant," by John E. Christ.
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The author reports on his campaign to enlist a medical
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journal's aid in promoting a new use for existing
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inventories of now-defunct manfacturers of silicone breast
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implants.
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"A Call for Scientific Correction," by Gordon Videen.
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Scientists can an must reap the rewards of Revisionist
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Science. Electrons are not negative, the earth's magnetic
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poles are mislabeled, astronomy uses demeaning terminology,
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all animals in their natural state are vegetarians, etc.
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"Further Alternatives to Live Animals in Teaching Surgery,"
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by Douglas Lindsey.
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Several inanimate materials proved superior for teaching
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surgery: 1) fresh, edible pig feet; 2) plastic soda straws
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(unpeeled) for vein dissection; 3) skinned hog necks and
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synthetic chamois for cricothyrotomy; fig tree limbs for
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intraosseous infusion in small children.
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"Guidelines for Equivocation in EEG Reports," By Robert. S.
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Hoffman.
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The interpretation of electroencephalograms (EEGs) is
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necessarily imprecise, offering a pleasing intellectual
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challenge to neurologists who engage in the activity. Other
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physicians who must use the reports are not pleased. This
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guide helps to bridge the gap in temperament.
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"Technology Update: The Metor Shower," by Stephen Drew.
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A new device is expected to give astronomers the first clear
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photographs of meteors. It locates approaching meteorites,
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washes them with what is in essence a spray of soapy water,
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then photographs them in the moments before they enter the
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upper atmosphere.
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Interview with Nobel Chemistry Laureate (1976) William
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Lipscomb.
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Lipscomb discovered much of what we know about the structure
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and bonding of boron compounds and of the general nature of
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chemical bonding. In this interview, he explains his
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controversial views about perfume and aftershave lotions,
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offers advice for young people who are entering the field,
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and suggests a candidate for the Ig Nobel Prize.
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"How to Testify to Congress," by Shelby Miller.
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Spurred by the firing of Will Happer as director of the U.S.
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Department of Energy's chief research scientist, JIR
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presents a new service: a database of currently acceptable
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observations, theories, ideas and methods. Experts from
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this field can be rented for appearances before Congress.
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[PLEASE NOTE: An excerpt from this article appears in
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section 1993-02-04 of this issue of mini-JIR.]
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"Elegant Results" (regular column) by Alice Shirell Kaswell.
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Styles, trends, and tidbits, culled from leading research
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journals. In this issue: findings from the research journals
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"Fighting Knives," and "Milk Cover Collector."
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"Scientific Gossip" (regular column) by Stephen Drew.
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Contains 100% gossip from concentrate. In this issue: Killer
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Colognes; Stylish Processing; Virtual Population Growth;
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Preferred Lighting; Intergalactic Deficit Reduction; A
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Threat from the Middle; A Threat from the Middle; Virtual
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Population Growth.
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| FOR FULL TEXT (including lurid |
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| photographs) OF THESE ARTICLES |
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| SEE THE CURRENT ISSUE OF JIR. |
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----------------------------------------------
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1993-02-04 Testifying to Congress: Our New Service
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The Society for Basic Irreproducible Research (SBIR) is
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offering a new service to its members. For a small annual
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fee, we provide experts to accompany you when you testify
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before government agencies. These experts are well-versed in
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government policies, procedures and rituals. Each is fully
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qualified for the work Each has attended law school, worked
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on a political campaign, and been a sports journalist. Three
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of our experts have taken a college science course. All are
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conversant with episodes of the first Star Trek television
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series.
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The service has a second part. Since 1955, SBIR has
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maintained a database containing currently acceptable
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observations, theories, ideas and even methods. The database
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can now be accessed, via E-Mail or CD-ROM, for a modest
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monthly charge. JIR subscribers receive a 3% discount.
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The database contains acceptability criteria for more than
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126 countries (including Latvia) across the entire range of
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current scientific fields. Interdiscipinary issues may incur
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a surcharge. JIR subscribers receive a 3% discount.
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The service is called Politically Acceptable Science Service
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(PASS). Further news about it will be reported in this space
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in a future issue.
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--------------------------
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1993-02-05 Warning: mini-JIR and the Expanding Universe
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A report prepared by:
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Ross Lazarus MB,BS MMed MPH GDipCompSci FRACGP FAFPHM,
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Head, Epidemiology & Biostatistics Unit, Department of
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Community Medicine, Westmead Hospital, Westmead, NSW 2145,
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Australia. e-mail: rossl@gmu.wh.su.edu.au
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and
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Leonard X. Finegold, Department of Physics, Drexel
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University, Philadelphia PA 19104 U.S.A.
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e-mail: LXF@coasmail.physics.drexel.edu
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This journal may constitute a serious hazard to the
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Internet. Within a few hours of the announcement of its
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existence, and before the first issue was sent over the
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network, the rate of arrival of new subscription requests
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climbed exponentially. At the end of the data sampling
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period, the growth remained exponential. See figure 1 below.
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Simple extrapolation shows that if this trend continues,
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every human being on the planet will have subscribed at
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least 2.72 times within the first two weeks. This behavior,
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exhibited by such a large number of people, presents unique
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research opportunities in several of the social sciences.
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More detailed analysis of the subscription rates will appear
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in the next edition if the Internet survives.*
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(* And if the editor accepts the authors' next paper.)
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2 3 4 5 6
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Hours since Announcement
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Figure 1
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Explosive growth of Subscribers to mini-JIR
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Within the first few hours of the Announcement
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(10am EST, Wednesday November 10, 1993).
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--------------------------
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1993-02-06 JIR Recommends
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Research reports that merit a trip to the library:
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"Reflex Epilepsy Induced by Calculation Using a 'Soroban,' a
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Japanese Traditional Calculator," by Junji Yamamoto, Isao
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Egawa, Shinobu Yamamoto, and Akira Shimizu, "Epilepsia,"
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vol. 32, 1991, pp. 39-43. (Thanks to Ruth Parrish for
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bringing this to our attention.)
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"Human Saliva as a Cleaning Agent for Dirty Surfaces," by
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Paula M. S. Romao, et al, "Studies in Conservation," vol.
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35, 1990, pp. 153-155. (Thanks to Sue Schur for bringing
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this to our attention.)
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-----------------------------------------------------------
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1993-02-07 Upcoming Events at the MIT Museum and Elsewhere
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::::: Calling All Instigators! :::::
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Be a host/instigator for an Irreproducible Science Event
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(JIR readings/slide show/seminars, etc.) for your city,
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university, hospital, research center, etc. The publisher of
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the new JIR book (see section 1993-02-08 below) is
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organizing a JIR readings/research/slide show tour of North
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American. The tour will happen approximately during March
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and April. ASAP, please contact:
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Lisa Bernstein (dubno@nysernet.ORG)
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Workman Publishing, 708 Broadway, New York, NY 10013
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(212) 614-7505 FAX:(212) 254-8098
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JIR authors who wish to take part please contact the editor
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(jir@mit.edu) as soon as possible.
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::::: Irreproducible Evening :::::
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Wednesday, January 12, 1994, 7-9 pm., JIR Readings and slide
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show, at The Bookcellar Cafe, 1971 Massachusetts Avenue,
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Cambridge, MA, (617) 864-9625.
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JIR authors who wish to take part please contact the editor
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(jir@mit.edu) as soon as possible.
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::::: "Crazy After Calculus" :::::
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An ongoing exhibition of extraordinary humor at MIT from
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prehistoric times through the present day.
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The MIT Museum (ktl@mitvma.mit.edu)
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265 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge, MA 02139 USA
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(617) 253-4422
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::::: 1994 Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony :::::
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Thursday evening, October 6, 1994 at MIT in Cambridge,
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Massachusetts. You are cordially invited to attend.
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------------------------------------------
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1993-02-08 Calls for Papers and Nominations
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CALL FOR PAPERS on the topic: "Odd Numbers." Please enclose
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photomicrographs.
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CALL FOR PAPERS on the topic: "The Effects of Punctuated
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Evolution on the Eardrum." Please submit research results
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only, not speculative essays.
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CALL FOR ESSAYS for JIR's "Worst Science Teacher
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Competition." Essays must be 300 words or less, explaining
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how and why, despite the competition, your nominee is the
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world's worst science teacher. Please enclose any
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photographs, diagrams, or other evidence that might bolster
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your case. All entries become the property of JIR. The
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winning essayist and the worst teacher will both be invited
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to attend the 1994 Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony at their own
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expense. [A stilted note for incurably serious readers: the
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underlying purpose of this competition is to publicize the
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importance of GOOD science teachers!]
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CALL FOR NOMINATIONS for the Ig Nobel Prize. The Prize is
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given for achievements that cannot or should not be
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reproduced.
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----------------------------------------
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1993-02-09 How to Submit Articles to JIR (*)
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Since 1955, The Journal of Irreproducible Results has been
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the publication of record for overly stimulating research
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and ideas. JIR publishes original articles, news of
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particularly egregious scientific results, and short notices
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of satiric and humorous intent. The editors look forward to
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receiving your manuscripts, photographs, X-rays, drawings,
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etc. Please do not send biological samples.
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The entire manuscript should be typed double-spaced on
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standard white bond paper, with generous margins all around,
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and submitted with a photocopy.
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Because of the volume of submissions, we are unable to
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acknowledge receipt of manuscripts unless they are
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accompanied by a SELF-ADDRESSED, ADEQUATELY STAMPED
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ENVELOPE.
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Before you submit an article to The Journal of
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Irreproducible Results, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE skim through
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a recent issue to see the typical length and format of JIR
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articles. At the same time, please read the "Information
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for Contributors" notice in any issue of JIR. Articles may
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be submitted to:
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Marc Abrahams, editor
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The Journal of Irreproducible Results
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c/o Wisdom Simulators
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P.O. Box 380853
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Cambridge, MA 02238 USA
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Telephone number for editorial matters: (617) 491-4437
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A list of arbitrary suggestions for authors can be obtained
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by sending a SELF-ADDRESSED, ADEQUATELY STAMPED ENVELOPE to
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the same address.
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E-mail address for editorial questions: jir@mit.edu
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---------------------------
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1993-02-10 How to Subscribe (*)
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mini-JIR
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The mini-Journal of Irreproducible Results is an electronic
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publication, available over the Internet, free of charge. It
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is distributed as a LISTSERV application. We expect to
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publish 6-12 issues per year.
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To subscribe, send a brief E-mail message to either one of
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these addresses:
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LISTSERV@MITVMA.MIT.EDU or LISTSERV@MITVMA
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The body of your message should contain ONLY the words
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"SUBSCRIBE MINI-JIR" followed by your name.
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Here are two examples:
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SUBSCRIBE MINI-JIR Irene Curie Joliet
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SUBSCRIBE MINI-JIR Nicholas Lobachevsky
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To stop subscribing, send an unsubscribe message to the same
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address. Here are two examples:
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UNSUBSCRIBE MINI-JIR
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UNSUBSCRIBE MINI-JIR
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If you have questions about how to subscribe, or if you
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would like to re-distribute mini-JIR, please send e-mail to:
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mgeller@mit.edu
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Back issues of mini-JIR will be available via LISTSERV and
|
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on various gophers.
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[PLEASE NOTE: if you are regularly posting mini-JIR on your
|
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gopher or mailing list, please drop an e-mail note to
|
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mgeller@mit.edu so that we can compile a complete resource
|
|
list -- thanks!]
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| FOR FULL TEXT (including lurid photographs) |
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| OF THE ARTICLES ABSTRACTED IN MINI-JIR |
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| SEE THE CURRENT ISSUE OF JIR. |
|
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|
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JIR
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The Journal of Irreproducible Results is a print publication
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published six times per year. JIR is written by scientists
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from around the world, and read by subscribers in 41
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countries.
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To subscribe, send payment to:
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By phone: (800) 759-6102 or (617) 876-7000
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By FAX: (617) 876-7022 (include credit card number)
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By mail: The Journal of Irreproducible Results
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c/o Wisdom Simulators, P.O. Box 380853
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Cambridge, MA 02238 USA
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___________Rates for a year's subscription __________
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U.S. ____________ individuals $21 _____ libraries $40
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Canada, Mexico __ individuals $27.50 __ libraries $46
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Elsewhere _______ individuals $43 _____ libraries $62
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________Please call for multiple gift rates __________
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A new collection of outstanding JIR research has just been
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published in book form:
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"Sex As a Heap of Malfunctioning Rubble (and further
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improbabilities)," Marc Abrahams, editor,
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Workman Publishing, New York, 1993.
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Previous collections are available in many libraries:
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A) "The Best of the Journal of Irreproducible Results,"
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George H. Scherr, editor, Workman Publishing,
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New York, 1983.
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B) "Journal der Unwiederholbaren Experimente," George H.
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Scherr, editor, Kruger Verlag, Frankfurt, 1986
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C) "Journal der Unwiederholbaren Experimente II," George
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H. Scherr, editor, Kruger Verlag, Frankfurt, 1989
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---------------------------
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1993-02-11 Copyright Notice (*)
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Please forward this document to anyone who might be
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interested.
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The only limitations are:
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A) You must copy this document IN ITS ENTIRETY, WITHOUT
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MODIFICATIONS. You do NOT have permission to change the
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contents or to make extracts.
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B) You do NOT have permission to copy this document for
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commercial purposes.
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The contents of this document are copyright (c) 1993 by the
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Journal of Irreproducible Results.
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-------------------------------------------------------
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The mini-Journal of Irreproducible Results ("mini-JIR")
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Editor: Marc Abrahams (jir@mit.edu)
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Technical Brains: Marilyn Geller (mgeller@mit.edu)
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-------------------------------------------------------
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