1136 lines
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1136 lines
47 KiB
Plaintext
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The Mini-Journal of Irreproducible Results ("mini-JIR")
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Issue Number 1993-01
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November, 1993
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ISSN 1072-7159
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Key words:science humor,irreproducible results,Ig Nobel
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The Official Electronic Mini-Organ of the Society for Basic
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Irreproducible Research
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Produced jointly by
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The Journal of Irreproducible Results (JIR) and
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The MIT Museum
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1993-01-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS
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1993-01-01 Table of Contents
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1993-01-02 Purpose of the Mini-Journal (*)
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1993-01-03 Abstracts from JIR, vol. 38, no. 5, Sep/Oct 93
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1993-01-04 List of 1993 Ig Nobel Prize Winners
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1993-01-05 NAFTA Update
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1993-01-06 JIR Recommends
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1993-01-07 Upcoming Events at the MIT Museum and Elsewhere
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1993-01-08 Calls for Papers and Nominations
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1993-01-09 How to Submit Articles to JIR (*)
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1993-01-10 How to Subscribe (*)
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1993-01-11 Copyright Notice (*)
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Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue.
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So many of you subscribed to mini-JIR that you rendered it,
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very temporarily, irreproducible. We had planned to send out
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this first issue early in the week of November 15. But with
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this number of subscribers, that would have overwhelmed the
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MIT computer system, and possibly slowed down other portions
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of the net. Rather than do that, we made arrangements to
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have a number of sites redistribute mini-JIR.
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We apologize for the delay, and thank you for your patience.
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---------------------------------------
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1993-01-02 Purpose of the Mini-Journal (*)
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The Mini-Journal of Irreproducible Results publishes news
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about overly stimulating research and ideas. Specifically:
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A) Haphazardly selected superficial (but advanced!) extracts
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of research news and satire from the Journal of
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Irreproducible Results (JIR).
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B) News about the annual Ig Nobel Prize ceremony. Ig Nobel
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Prizes honor "achievements that cannot or should not be
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reproduced." A public ceremony is held at MIT, in Cambridge
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Massachusetts, every autumn. The ceremony is sponsored
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jointly by JIR and by the MIT Museum.
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C) News about other science humor activities conducted by
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the MIT Museum and JIR.
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1993-01-03 Abstracts from JIR, vol. 38, no. 5, Sep/Oct 93
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This section contains abstracts of articles that appear in
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volume 38, number 5 (the September/October 1993 issue) of
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The Journal of Irreproducible Results.
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"Teeth Pulled by Peter the Great," by Rosamond Wolff Purcell
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and Stephen J. Gould.
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A photograph documents 24 teeth, all personally pulled by
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Peter the Great of Russia, who fancied himself a dentist,
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and who often would demand this sacrifice of a member of his
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retinue or even of an idle passerby.
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"Selecting a College: The Squirrel Index," by Bruce McAfee.
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In recommending a college to attend, experts traditionally
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rely on innacurate assumptions: that prospective students
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can read, etc. The author proposes and tests a new approach
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for selecting a college: examining the number and
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friendliness of a college's resident squirrel population.
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"What's in a Name? (Middle) Name-Dropping and Postwar
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American Politics" by William J. Tompson
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There is a marked trend toward shorter names for American
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politicians and statesmen. This study uses a number of
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highly sophisticated quantitative tests to draw a link
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between this phenomenon and the influence of the Bolshevik
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Revolution on American intellectual life.
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"The Coffee Strength Gauge," by Stephen Drew.
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A new wristwatch-shaped device assesses the quality of a cup
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of coffee. It provides house guests and restaurant patrons
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with a polite way to tell before drinking the coffee whether
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it is too strong, too weak, or just right.
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"A Phenomenon Caused by Excess Gravity," by J. William
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Taylor.
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Photographic evidence supports the author's theory of how
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two wine glasses came to be of differing heights.
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"The Phantom Research Grant Phenomenon," by George
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Englebretsen and Genevieve Boulet.
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The authors contend that, just as victims of limb loss are
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often forced phsychologically to continue to behave as if
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their phantom limbs still exist, victims of research grant
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loss are often forced to continue to behave as if their
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grants still exist.
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"The Therapeutic Value of Whimpering," by Roma Lark.
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The author, a nursing student, finds that the length of a
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hospital patient's stay can be predicted by the quality and
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frequency of the patient's whimpering.
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"Measuring Effects of Space Flight Without Space Flight," by
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Mark Shelhamer.
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A simple mathematical method predicts human physical
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performance under weightless conditions. It is based on
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measuring the difference in performance, under normal
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gravity, between subjects weighing (for example) X and 2X.
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Interview with Nobel Physics laureate (1979) Allan Cormack.
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Cormack developed the mathematical and physical foundations
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of computerized axial tomography (CAT) imaging. In this
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interview, he explains his secrets for staying awake during
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a dull lecture, and suggests candidates for the Ig Nobel
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Prize.
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"An Important but Neglected Function of Nitric Oxide (NO),"
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by X. Perry Mental.
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A historical context is given for the recent discovery,
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published in the research journal "Science," that nitric
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oxide (NO) may play a role in penile erections. A non-
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seminal event was the 1965 discovery of the contraceptive
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NO-acetol, the chemical structure of which has nitric oxide
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(NO) in every position.
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"Nitric Oxide (NO): Don't Confuse Cause With Effect," by
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Benjamin J. Luberoff.
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The author contends that recent research on nitric oxide
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(NO) leaves it unclear whether: (a) NO conveys a message
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that causes penile erection; or (b) the erection elicits the
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NO.
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"Comedic Cosmology," by Howard Zaharoff.
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The publication of this article was made possible by a
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generous donation from the author's family.
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"A Cool Analysis of the Heat Pump," by Mark Lipsman.
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The classical heat pump is analyzed in terms of the spaces
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between molecules, Planck's constant, and moving trains.
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"Elegant Results" (regular column) by Alice Shirell Kaswell.
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Styles, trends, and tidbits, culled from leading research
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journals. In this issue: findings from the research journals
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"Skin Art Encyclopedia," " Outlaw Biker Review," and
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"Tattoo."
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"Scientific Gossip" (regular column) by Stephen Drew.
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Contains 100% gossip from concentrate. In this issue:
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Recycled House Wine; Disorder for Doctors; Patch People;
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Fungus Factory; There's a Song in My Stomach; Gas for
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interested Viewers; The Passing of Things Remembered;
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Borderline Therapy; The Omni-Drug Revolution.
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----------------------------------------------
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1993-01-04 List of 1993 Ig Nobel Prize Winners
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The winners of the 1993 Ig Nobel Prizes were announced in a
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ceremony held on October 7 at MIT. The Prizes honor
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individuals whose achievements cannot or should not be
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reproduced.
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Eleven Ig Nobel Prizes were given this year. The winners
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come from 16 different countries: Australia; Belgium;
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Canada; England; France; Germany; Ireland; Israel;
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Luxembourg; the Netherlands; New Zealand; the Philippines;
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Poland; Spain; Switzerland; and the United States.
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A number of dignitaries participated in the ceremony,
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including: Nobel Laureates William Lipscomb (chemistry,
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1976), Sheldon Glashow (physics, 1979), Jerome Friedman
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(physics, 1990), Mel Schwartz, (physics, 1985) and Dudley
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Herschbach (chemistry, 1986); Russell Johnson, professor
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emeritus from Gilligan's Island; Alan Lightman, author of
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"Einstein's Dreams;" jazz harpist Deborah Henson-Conant, MIT
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economist Paul Krugman; "New England Journal of Medicine"
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executive editor Marcia Angell; past president of the
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American Bar association John J. Curtin; and Tufts
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University Dental School's Philip Molloy, who has performed
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more than 10,000 root canal procedures.
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The new winners:
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Psychology
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John Mack of Harvard Medical School and David Jacobs of
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Temple University, mental visionaries, for their leaping
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conclusion that people who believe they were kidnapped by
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aliens from outer space, probably were -- and especially for
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their conclusion that, in Professor Jacobs's words, "the
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focus of the abduction is the production of children."
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[Both Mack and Jacobs have written and spoken extensively on
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the subject. A good introduction is the book "Secret Life,"
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by David Jacobs with an introduction by John Mack, Simon and
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Schuster, New York, 1992.]
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Consumer Engineering
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Ron Popeil, incessant inventor and perpetual pitchman of
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late night television, for redefining the industrial
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revolution with such devices as the Veg-O-Matic, the Pocket
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Fisherman, the Cap Snaffler, Mr. Microphone, and the Inside-
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the-Shell Egg Scrambler.
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Biology
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Paul Williams, Jr. of the Oregon State Health Division and
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Kenneth W. Newell of the Liverpool School of Tropical
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Medicine, bold biological detectives, for their pioneering
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study, "Salmonella Excretion in Joy-Riding Pigs." [The
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study was published in "The American Journal of Public
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Health," vol. 60, no. 5, May, 1970. Kenneth Newell died in
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March, 1990.]
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Economics
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Ravi Batra of Southern Methodist University, shrewd
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economist and best-selling author of "The Great Depression
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of 1990" ($17.95) and "Surviving the Great Depression of
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1990" ($18.95), for selling enough copies of his books to
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single-handedly prevent worldwide economic collapse.
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Peace
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The Pepsi-Cola Company of the Phillipines, suppliers of
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sugary hopes and dreams, for sponsoring a contest to create
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a millionaire, and then announcing the wrong winning number,
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thereby inciting and uniting 800,000 riotously expectant
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winners, and bringing many warring factions together for the
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first time in their nation's history.
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Visionary Technology
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Presented jointly to Jay Schiffman of Farmington Hills,
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Michigan, crack inventor of AutoVision, an image projection
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device that makes it possible to drive a car and watch
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television at the same time, and to the Michigan state
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legislature, for making it legal to do so. [Michigan House
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Bill 4530, Public Act #55 was signed into law by the
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Governor on June 6, 1991.]
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Chemistry
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James Campbell and Gaines Campbell of Lookout Mountain,
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Tennessee, dedicated deliverers of fragrance, for inventing
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scent strips, the odious method by which perfume is applied
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to magazine pages. [Additional historical information about
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the invention of scent strips can be obtained from the
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Campbells' former colleague, Ronald Versic, President of the
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Ronald P. Dodge Company in Dayton, OH.]
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Literature
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Awarded jointly to E. Topol, R. Califf, F. Van de Werf, P.
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W. Armstrong, and their 972 co-authors, for publishing a
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medical research paper which has one hundred times as many
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authors as pages. [Source "An International Randomized Trial
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Comparing Four Thrombolytic Strategies for Acute Myocardial
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Infarction," "The New England Journal of Medicine," volume
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329, number 10, September 2, 1993, pages 673-682.
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The co-authors come from 15 different nations: Australia;
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Belgium; Canada; England; France; Germany; Ireland; Israel;
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Luxembourg; the Netherlands; New Zealand; Poland; Spain;
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Switzerland; and the United States.]
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Mathematics
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Robert Faid of Greenville, South Carolina, farsighted and
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faithful seer of statistics, for calculating the exact odds
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(8,606,091,751,882:1) that Mikhail Gorbachev is the
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Antichrist. [Faid's complete calculation is contained in the
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book "Gorbachev! Has the Real Antichrist Come?" published by
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Victory House, Tulsa, Oklahoma. The pertinent section of the
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book was reprinted in the January, 1989 issue of Harper's
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Magazine.]
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Physics
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Louis Kervran of France, ardent admirer of alchemy, for his
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conclusion that the calcium in chickens' eggshells is
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created by a process of cold fusion. [For an English
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language version of Kervran's research see the book
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"Biological Transmutations, and their applications in
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chemistry, physics, biology, ecology, medicine, nutrition,
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agriculture, geology," by Louis Kervran, Swan House
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Publishing Co., 1972.]
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Medicine
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James F. Nolan, Thomas J. Stillwell, and John P. Sands, Jr.,
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medical men of mercy, for their painstaking research report,
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"Acute Management of the Zipper-Entrapped Penis." [Nolan is
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Associate in Urology at the Guthrie Clinic in Sayre, PA.
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Stillwell is in private practice at North Urology, Ltd., in
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Robbinsdale, MN. Sands is Chairman of the Department of
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Urology, Naval Hospital, San Diego, CA. Their report was
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published in "The Journal of Emergency Medicine," vol. 8,
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1990.]
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------------------------
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1993-01-05 NAFTA Update
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Until very recently, the North American Free Trade Agreement
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(NAFTA) was the subject of fierce debate among economists.
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The remarkable sudden arrival at concensus within the
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profession was due largely to a concept articulated by Paul
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Krugman. Krugman delivered his remarks on October 7 at the
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Ig Noble Prize Ceremony, in the form of a Heisenberg
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Certainty Lecture.
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Heisenberg Certainty Lecture #4.
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Paul Krugman, Professor of Economics, MIT.
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"The MIT Economics Department has now solved the riddle of
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world economic crisis. It turns out that if you add up last
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year's reported imports and exports for all of the countries
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in the world, world imports exceeded world exports by more
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than one hundred billion dollars. You know what that means.
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It means that we are running a huge global deficit in our
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interplanetary trade. So Ross Perot has it wrong. That great
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sucking sound isn't coming from Mexico -- it's coming from
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outer space. Space aliens are stealing American jobs."
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--------------------------
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1993-01-06 JIR Recommends
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Research reports that merit a trip to the library:
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"Surgical Management of an Epidemic of Penile Amputations in
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Siam," by Kasian Bhanganada, Tu Chayavatana, Chumporn
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Pongnumkul, Anunt Tonmukayakul, Piyasakol Sakolsatayadorn,
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Krit Komaratal, and Henry Wilde, "The American Journal of
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Surgery," 1983, no. 146, pp. 376-382. The report reads in
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part: "It became fashionable in the decade after 1970 for
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the humiliated Thai wife to wait until her [philandering]
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husband fell asleep so that she could quickly sever his
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penis with a kitchen knife. A traditional Thai home is
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elevated on pilings and the windows are open to allow for
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ventilation. The area under the house is the home of the
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family pigs, chickens, and ducks. Thus, it is quite usual
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that an amputated penis is tossed out of an open window,
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where it may be captured by a duck."
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"Protein, cDNA, and Genomic DNA Sequences of the Towel Gourd
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Trypsin Inhibitor, A Squash Family Inhibitor," "The Journal
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of Biological Chemistry," vol. 268, no. 2, January 15, 1993,
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pp. 810-814. (Thanks to Thomas Michel for bringing this to
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our attention.)
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"Establishment of Cattle-Human Relationships," by X. Boivin,
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P. Le Neindre, and J. M. Chupin, "Applied Animal Behavior
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Science," vol. 32, 1992, pp. 325-335. (Thanks to Earle
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Spamer for bringing this to our attention.)
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-----------------------------------------------------------
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1993-01-07 Upcoming Events at the MIT Museum and Elsewhere
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::::: "Crazy After Calculus" :::::
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An ongoing exhibition of extraordinary humor at MIT from
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prehistoric times through the present day.
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The MIT Museum
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265 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge, MA 02139 USA
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(617) 253-4422 Internet address: ktl@mitvma.mit.edu
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::::: Ig Nobel Prize ceremony on RADIO :::::
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A recording of the 1993 Ig Nobel Prize ceremony is scheduled
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to be broadcast on National Public Radio's "Talk of the
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Nation Science Friday With Ira Flatow" on Friday afternoon,
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November 26, the day after Thanksgiving.
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Internet address: scifriday@aol.com
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::::: Irreproducible Public Reading/Performance :::::
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On Wednesday, January 12, 1994, 7-9 pm., The Bookcellar Cafe
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[1971 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge, MA, (617) 864-9625]
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is sponsoring a public reading/performance of classic JIR
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research papers, including several papers that appear in the
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new book "Sex As a Heap..."). JIR authors who wish to take
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part should contact the editor (jir@mit.edu) as soon as
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possible.
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::::: North American Irreproducible Research Tour :::::
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The publisher of the new JIR book (see section 1993-01-08
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below) will be sponsoring a JIR readings/research tour of
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North American cities, universities, and medical centers.
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The tour is being planned now, and is tentatively scheduled
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to happen in February and/or March. If you would like to
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help organize a session in your area, please contact:
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Lisa Bernstein, Workman Publishing, 708 Broadway, New York,
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NY 10013 voice:(212) 614-7505 FAX:(212) 254-8098
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::::: 1994 Ig Nobel Prize ceremony :::::
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The next ceremony will be held on or about Thursday, October
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6, 1994 at MIT in Cambridge, Massachusetts. You are
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cordially invited to attend. The exact date will be
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confirmed in a future issue of this newsletter.
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------------------------------------------
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1993-01-08 Calls for Papers and Nominations
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CALL FOR PAPERS on the topic: "My Favorite Microbe." Please
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enclose photomicrographs.
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CALL FOR PAPERS on the topic: "Alternatives to H2O." Please
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submit research results only, not speculative essays.
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CALL FOR PAPERS analyzing the relationships between nations'
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pollution levels and their (a) climate (especially average
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seasonal temperatures) or (b) distance from the equator.
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Please submit research results only, not speculative essays.
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CALL FOR ESSAYS for JIR's "Worst Science Teacher
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Competition." Essays must be 300 words or less, explaining
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how and why, despite the competition, your nominee is the
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world's worst science teacher. Please enclose any
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photographs, diagrams, or other evidence that might bolster
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your case. All entries become the property of JIR. The
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winning essayist and the worst teacher will both be invited
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to attend the 1994 Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony at their own
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expense. [A stilted note for incurably serious readers: the
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underlying purpose of this competition is to publicize the
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importance of GOOD science teachers!]
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CALL FOR NOMINATIONS for the Ig Nobel Prize. The Prize is
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given for achievements that cannot or should not be
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reproduced.
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----------------------------------------
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1993-01-09 How to Submit Articles to JIR (*)
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Since 1955, The Journal of Irreproducible Results has been
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the publication of record for overly stimulating research
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and ideas. JIR publishes original articles, news of
|
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particularly egregious scientific results, and short notices
|
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of satiric and humorous intent. The editors look forward to
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receiving your manuscripts, photographs, X-rays, drawings,
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etc. Please do not send biological samples.
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The entire manuscript should be typed double-spaced on
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standard white bond paper, with generous margins all around,
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and submitted with a photocopy.
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Because of the volume of submissions, we are unable to
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acknowledge receipt of manuscripts unless they are
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accompanied by a SELF-ADDRESSED, ADEQUATELY STAMPED
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ENVELOPE.
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Before you submit an article to The Journal of
|
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Irreproducible Results, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE skim through
|
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a recent issue to see the typical length and format of JIR
|
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articles. At the same time, please read the "Information
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for Contributors" notice in any issue of JIR. Articles may
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be submitted to:
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Marc Abrahams, editor
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The Journal of Irreproducible Results
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c/o Wisdom Simulators
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P.O. Box 380853
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Cambridge, MA 02238 USA
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Telephone number for editorial matters: (617) 491-4437
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A list of arbitrary suggestions for authors can be obtained
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by sending a SELF-ADDRESSED, ADEQUATELY STAMPED ENVELOPE to
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the same address.
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E-mail address for editorial questions: jir@mit.edu
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---------------------------
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1993-01-10 How to Subscribe (*)
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mini-JIR
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The Mini-Journal of Irreproducible Results is an electronic
|
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publication, available over the Internet, free of charge. It
|
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The Journal of Irreproducible Results is a print publication
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A new collection of outstanding JIR research has just been
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"Sex As a Heap of Malfunctioning Rubble (and further
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improbabilities)," Marc Abrahams, editor,
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Workman Publishing, New York, 1993.
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Previous collections are available in many libraries:
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A) "The Best of the Journal of Irreproducible Results,"
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George H. Scherr, editor, Workman Publishing,
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New York, 1983.
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B) "Journal der Unwiederholbaren Experimente," George H.
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Scherr, editor, Kruger Verlag, Frankfurt, 1986
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C) "Journal der Unwiederholbaren Experimente II," George
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H. Scherr, editor, Kruger Verlag, Frankfurt, 1989
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---------------------------
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1993-01-11 Copyright Notice (*)
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Please forward this document to anyone who might be
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interested.
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commercial purposes.
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The contents of this document are copyright (c) 1993 by the
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Journal of Irreproducible Results.
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-------------------------------------------------------
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The Mini-Journal of Irreproducible Results ("mini-JIR")
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Editor: Marc Abrahams (jir@mit.edu)
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Technical Brains: Marilyn Geller (mgeller@mit.edu)
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-------------------------------------------------------
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Date: Mon, 7 Mar 1994 15:18:33 -0500
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From: BITNET list server at MITVMA (1.7f) <LISTSERV@mitvma.mit.edu>
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Subject: File: "MINI-JIR 93-00001"
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To: Christy Phillips <CAPHILLI@hawk.syr.edu>
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Date: Tue, 23 Nov 1993 18:33:36 EST
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Reply-To: 'JIR@MIT.EDU'
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Sender: The Mini-Journal of Irreproducible Results
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<MINI-JIR@MITVMA.BITNET>
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>From: Stephen Drew <jir@MIT.EDU>
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Subject: mini-JIR: the first issue
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|
|
============================================================
|
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The Mini-Journal of Irreproducible Results ("mini-JIR")
|
|
Issue Number 1993-01
|
|
November, 1993
|
|
ISSN 1072-7159
|
|
Key words:science humor,irreproducible results,Ig Nobel
|
|
------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
The Official Electronic Mini-Organ of the Society for Basic
|
|
Irreproducible Research
|
|
------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
Produced jointly by
|
|
The Journal of Irreproducible Results (JIR) and
|
|
The MIT Museum
|
|
============================================================
|
|
|
|
-----------------------------
|
|
1993-01-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS
|
|
|
|
1993-01-01 Table of Contents
|
|
1993-01-02 Purpose of the Mini-Journal (*)
|
|
1993-01-03 Abstracts from JIR, vol. 38, no. 5, Sep/Oct 93
|
|
1993-01-04 List of 1993 Ig Nobel Prize Winners
|
|
1993-01-05 NAFTA Update
|
|
1993-01-06 JIR Recommends
|
|
1993-01-07 Upcoming Events at the MIT Museum and Elsewhere
|
|
1993-01-08 Calls for Papers and Nominations
|
|
1993-01-09 How to Submit Articles to JIR (*)
|
|
1993-01-10 How to Subscribe (*)
|
|
1993-01-11 Copyright Notice (*)
|
|
|
|
Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue.
|
|
|
|
|
|
So many of you subscribed to mini-JIR that you rendered it,
|
|
very temporarily, irreproducible. We had planned to send out
|
|
this first issue early in the week of November 15. But with
|
|
this number of subscribers, that would have overwhelmed the
|
|
MIT computer system, and possibly slowed down other portions
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of the net. Rather than do that, we made arrangements to
|
|
have a number of sites redistribute mini-JIR.
|
|
|
|
We apologize for the delay, and thank you for your patience.
|
|
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------------
|
|
1993-01-02 Purpose of the Mini-Journal (*)
|
|
|
|
The Mini-Journal of Irreproducible Results publishes news
|
|
about overly stimulating research and ideas. Specifically:
|
|
|
|
A) Haphazardly selected superficial (but advanced!) extracts
|
|
of research news and satire from the Journal of
|
|
Irreproducible Results (JIR).
|
|
|
|
B) News about the annual Ig Nobel Prize ceremony. Ig Nobel
|
|
Prizes honor "achievements that cannot or should not be
|
|
reproduced." A public ceremony is held at MIT, in Cambridge
|
|
Massachusetts, every autumn. The ceremony is sponsored
|
|
jointly by JIR and by the MIT Museum.
|
|
|
|
C) News about other science humor activities conducted by
|
|
the MIT Museum and JIR.
|
|
|
|
------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
1993-01-03 Abstracts from JIR, vol. 38, no. 5, Sep/Oct 93
|
|
|
|
This section contains abstracts of articles that appear in
|
|
volume 38, number 5 (the September/October 1993 issue) of
|
|
The Journal of Irreproducible Results.
|
|
|
|
"Teeth Pulled by Peter the Great," by Rosamond Wolff Purcell
|
|
and Stephen J. Gould.
|
|
A photograph documents 24 teeth, all personally pulled by
|
|
Peter the Great of Russia, who fancied himself a dentist,
|
|
and who often would demand this sacrifice of a member of his
|
|
retinue or even of an idle passerby.
|
|
|
|
"Selecting a College: The Squirrel Index," by Bruce McAfee.
|
|
In recommending a college to attend, experts traditionally
|
|
rely on innacurate assumptions: that prospective students
|
|
can read, etc. The author proposes and tests a new approach
|
|
for selecting a college: examining the number and
|
|
friendliness of a college's resident squirrel population.
|
|
|
|
"What's in a Name? (Middle) Name-Dropping and Postwar
|
|
American Politics" by William J. Tompson
|
|
There is a marked trend toward shorter names for American
|
|
politicians and statesmen. This study uses a number of
|
|
highly sophisticated quantitative tests to draw a link
|
|
between this phenomenon and the influence of the Bolshevik
|
|
Revolution on American intellectual life.
|
|
|
|
"The Coffee Strength Gauge," by Stephen Drew.
|
|
A new wristwatch-shaped device assesses the quality of a cup
|
|
of coffee. It provides house guests and restaurant patrons
|
|
with a polite way to tell before drinking the coffee whether
|
|
it is too strong, too weak, or just right.
|
|
|
|
"A Phenomenon Caused by Excess Gravity," by J. William
|
|
Taylor.
|
|
Photographic evidence supports the author's theory of how
|
|
two wine glasses came to be of differing heights.
|
|
|
|
"The Phantom Research Grant Phenomenon," by George
|
|
Englebretsen and Genevieve Boulet.
|
|
The authors contend that, just as victims of limb loss are
|
|
often forced phsychologically to continue to behave as if
|
|
their phantom limbs still exist, victims of research grant
|
|
loss are often forced to continue to behave as if their
|
|
grants still exist.
|
|
|
|
"The Therapeutic Value of Whimpering," by Roma Lark.
|
|
The author, a nursing student, finds that the length of a
|
|
hospital patient's stay can be predicted by the quality and
|
|
frequency of the patient's whimpering.
|
|
|
|
"Measuring Effects of Space Flight Without Space Flight," by
|
|
Mark Shelhamer.
|
|
A simple mathematical method predicts human physical
|
|
performance under weightless conditions. It is based on
|
|
measuring the difference in performance, under normal
|
|
gravity, between subjects weighing (for example) X and 2X.
|
|
|
|
Interview with Nobel Physics laureate (1979) Allan Cormack.
|
|
Cormack developed the mathematical and physical foundations
|
|
of computerized axial tomography (CAT) imaging. In this
|
|
interview, he explains his secrets for staying awake during
|
|
a dull lecture, and suggests candidates for the Ig Nobel
|
|
Prize.
|
|
|
|
"An Important but Neglected Function of Nitric Oxide (NO),"
|
|
by X. Perry Mental.
|
|
A historical context is given for the recent discovery,
|
|
published in the research journal "Science," that nitric
|
|
oxide (NO) may play a role in penile erections. A non-
|
|
seminal event was the 1965 discovery of the contraceptive
|
|
NO-acetol, the chemical structure of which has nitric oxide
|
|
(NO) in every position.
|
|
|
|
"Nitric Oxide (NO): Don't Confuse Cause With Effect," by
|
|
Benjamin J. Luberoff.
|
|
The author contends that recent research on nitric oxide
|
|
(NO) leaves it unclear whether: (a) NO conveys a message
|
|
that causes penile erection; or (b) the erection elicits the
|
|
NO.
|
|
|
|
"Comedic Cosmology," by Howard Zaharoff.
|
|
The publication of this article was made possible by a
|
|
generous donation from the author's family.
|
|
|
|
"A Cool Analysis of the Heat Pump," by Mark Lipsman.
|
|
The classical heat pump is analyzed in terms of the spaces
|
|
between molecules, Planck's constant, and moving trains.
|
|
|
|
"Elegant Results" (regular column) by Alice Shirell Kaswell.
|
|
Styles, trends, and tidbits, culled from leading research
|
|
journals. In this issue: findings from the research journals
|
|
"Skin Art Encyclopedia," " Outlaw Biker Review," and
|
|
"Tattoo."
|
|
|
|
"Scientific Gossip" (regular column) by Stephen Drew.
|
|
Contains 100% gossip from concentrate. In this issue:
|
|
Recycled House Wine; Disorder for Doctors; Patch People;
|
|
Fungus Factory; There's a Song in My Stomach; Gas for
|
|
interested Viewers; The Passing of Things Remembered;
|
|
Borderline Therapy; The Omni-Drug Revolution.
|
|
|
|
|
|
----------------------------------------------
|
|
1993-01-04 List of 1993 Ig Nobel Prize Winners
|
|
|
|
The winners of the 1993 Ig Nobel Prizes were announced in a
|
|
ceremony held on October 7 at MIT. The Prizes honor
|
|
individuals whose achievements cannot or should not be
|
|
reproduced.
|
|
|
|
Eleven Ig Nobel Prizes were given this year. The winners
|
|
come from 16 different countries: Australia; Belgium;
|
|
Canada; England; France; Germany; Ireland; Israel;
|
|
Luxembourg; the Netherlands; New Zealand; the Philippines;
|
|
Poland; Spain; Switzerland; and the United States.
|
|
|
|
A number of dignitaries participated in the ceremony,
|
|
including: Nobel Laureates William Lipscomb (chemistry,
|
|
1976), Sheldon Glashow (physics, 1979), Jerome Friedman
|
|
(physics, 1990), Mel Schwartz, (physics, 1985) and Dudley
|
|
Herschbach (chemistry, 1986); Russell Johnson, professor
|
|
emeritus from Gilligan's Island; Alan Lightman, author of
|
|
"Einstein's Dreams;" jazz harpist Deborah Henson-Conant, MIT
|
|
economist Paul Krugman; "New England Journal of Medicine"
|
|
executive editor Marcia Angell; past president of the
|
|
American Bar association John J. Curtin; and Tufts
|
|
University Dental School's Philip Molloy, who has performed
|
|
more than 10,000 root canal procedures.
|
|
|
|
The new winners:
|
|
|
|
Psychology
|
|
John Mack of Harvard Medical School and David Jacobs of
|
|
Temple University, mental visionaries, for their leaping
|
|
conclusion that people who believe they were kidnapped by
|
|
aliens from outer space, probably were -- and especially for
|
|
their conclusion that, in Professor Jacobs's words, "the
|
|
focus of the abduction is the production of children."
|
|
[Both Mack and Jacobs have written and spoken extensively on
|
|
the subject. A good introduction is the book "Secret Life,"
|
|
by David Jacobs with an introduction by John Mack, Simon and
|
|
Schuster, New York, 1992.]
|
|
|
|
Consumer Engineering
|
|
Ron Popeil, incessant inventor and perpetual pitchman of
|
|
late night television, for redefining the industrial
|
|
revolution with such devices as the Veg-O-Matic, the Pocket
|
|
Fisherman, the Cap Snaffler, Mr. Microphone, and the Inside-
|
|
the-Shell Egg Scrambler.
|
|
|
|
Biology
|
|
Paul Williams, Jr. of the Oregon State Health Division and
|
|
Kenneth W. Newell of the Liverpool School of Tropical
|
|
Medicine, bold biological detectives, for their pioneering
|
|
study, "Salmonella Excretion in Joy-Riding Pigs." [The
|
|
study was published in "The American Journal of Public
|
|
Health," vol. 60, no. 5, May, 1970. Kenneth Newell died in
|
|
March, 1990.]
|
|
|
|
Economics
|
|
Ravi Batra of Southern Methodist University, shrewd
|
|
economist and best-selling author of "The Great Depression
|
|
of 1990" ($17.95) and "Surviving the Great Depression of
|
|
1990" ($18.95), for selling enough copies of his books to
|
|
single-handedly prevent worldwide economic collapse.
|
|
|
|
Peace
|
|
The Pepsi-Cola Company of the Phillipines, suppliers of
|
|
sugary hopes and dreams, for sponsoring a contest to create
|
|
a millionaire, and then announcing the wrong winning number,
|
|
thereby inciting and uniting 800,000 riotously expectant
|
|
winners, and bringing many warring factions together for the
|
|
first time in their nation's history.
|
|
|
|
Visionary Technology
|
|
Presented jointly to Jay Schiffman of Farmington Hills,
|
|
Michigan, crack inventor of AutoVision, an image projection
|
|
device that makes it possible to drive a car and watch
|
|
television at the same time, and to the Michigan state
|
|
legislature, for making it legal to do so. [Michigan House
|
|
Bill 4530, Public Act #55 was signed into law by the
|
|
Governor on June 6, 1991.]
|
|
|
|
Chemistry
|
|
James Campbell and Gaines Campbell of Lookout Mountain,
|
|
Tennessee, dedicated deliverers of fragrance, for inventing
|
|
scent strips, the odious method by which perfume is applied
|
|
to magazine pages. [Additional historical information about
|
|
the invention of scent strips can be obtained from the
|
|
Campbells' former colleague, Ronald Versic, President of the
|
|
Ronald P. Dodge Company in Dayton, OH.]
|
|
|
|
Literature
|
|
Awarded jointly to E. Topol, R. Califf, F. Van de Werf, P.
|
|
W. Armstrong, and their 972 co-authors, for publishing a
|
|
medical research paper which has one hundred times as many
|
|
authors as pages. [Source "An International Randomized Trial
|
|
Comparing Four Thrombolytic Strategies for Acute Myocardial
|
|
Infarction," "The New England Journal of Medicine," volume
|
|
329, number 10, September 2, 1993, pages 673-682.
|
|
The co-authors come from 15 different nations: Australia;
|
|
Belgium; Canada; England; France; Germany; Ireland; Israel;
|
|
Luxembourg; the Netherlands; New Zealand; Poland; Spain;
|
|
Switzerland; and the United States.]
|
|
|
|
Mathematics
|
|
Robert Faid of Greenville, South Carolina, farsighted and
|
|
faithful seer of statistics, for calculating the exact odds
|
|
(8,606,091,751,882:1) that Mikhail Gorbachev is the
|
|
Antichrist. [Faid's complete calculation is contained in the
|
|
book "Gorbachev! Has the Real Antichrist Come?" published by
|
|
Victory House, Tulsa, Oklahoma. The pertinent section of the
|
|
book was reprinted in the January, 1989 issue of Harper's
|
|
Magazine.]
|
|
|
|
Physics
|
|
Louis Kervran of France, ardent admirer of alchemy, for his
|
|
conclusion that the calcium in chickens' eggshells is
|
|
created by a process of cold fusion. [For an English
|
|
language version of Kervran's research see the book
|
|
"Biological Transmutations, and their applications in
|
|
chemistry, physics, biology, ecology, medicine, nutrition,
|
|
agriculture, geology," by Louis Kervran, Swan House
|
|
Publishing Co., 1972.]
|
|
|
|
Medicine
|
|
James F. Nolan, Thomas J. Stillwell, and John P. Sands, Jr.,
|
|
medical men of mercy, for their painstaking research report,
|
|
"Acute Management of the Zipper-Entrapped Penis." [Nolan is
|
|
Associate in Urology at the Guthrie Clinic in Sayre, PA.
|
|
Stillwell is in private practice at North Urology, Ltd., in
|
|
Robbinsdale, MN. Sands is Chairman of the Department of
|
|
Urology, Naval Hospital, San Diego, CA. Their report was
|
|
published in "The Journal of Emergency Medicine," vol. 8,
|
|
1990.]
|
|
|
|
|
|
------------------------
|
|
1993-01-05 NAFTA Update
|
|
|
|
Until very recently, the North American Free Trade Agreement
|
|
(NAFTA) was the subject of fierce debate among economists.
|
|
The remarkable sudden arrival at concensus within the
|
|
profession was due largely to a concept articulated by Paul
|
|
Krugman. Krugman delivered his remarks on October 7 at the
|
|
Ig Noble Prize Ceremony, in the form of a Heisenberg
|
|
Certainty Lecture.
|
|
|
|
Heisenberg Certainty Lecture #4.
|
|
Paul Krugman, Professor of Economics, MIT.
|
|
"The MIT Economics Department has now solved the riddle of
|
|
world economic crisis. It turns out that if you add up last
|
|
year's reported imports and exports for all of the countries
|
|
in the world, world imports exceeded world exports by more
|
|
than one hundred billion dollars. You know what that means.
|
|
It means that we are running a huge global deficit in our
|
|
interplanetary trade. So Ross Perot has it wrong. That great
|
|
sucking sound isn't coming from Mexico -- it's coming from
|
|
outer space. Space aliens are stealing American jobs."
|
|
|
|
|
|
--------------------------
|
|
1993-01-06 JIR Recommends
|
|
|
|
Research reports that merit a trip to the library:
|
|
|
|
"Surgical Management of an Epidemic of Penile Amputations in
|
|
Siam," by Kasian Bhanganada, Tu Chayavatana, Chumporn
|
|
Pongnumkul, Anunt Tonmukayakul, Piyasakol Sakolsatayadorn,
|
|
Krit Komaratal, and Henry Wilde, "The American Journal of
|
|
Surgery," 1983, no. 146, pp. 376-382. The report reads in
|
|
part: "It became fashionable in the decade after 1970 for
|
|
the humiliated Thai wife to wait until her [philandering]
|
|
husband fell asleep so that she could quickly sever his
|
|
penis with a kitchen knife. A traditional Thai home is
|
|
elevated on pilings and the windows are open to allow for
|
|
ventilation. The area under the house is the home of the
|
|
family pigs, chickens, and ducks. Thus, it is quite usual
|
|
that an amputated penis is tossed out of an open window,
|
|
where it may be captured by a duck."
|
|
|
|
"Protein, cDNA, and Genomic DNA Sequences of the Towel Gourd
|
|
Trypsin Inhibitor, A Squash Family Inhibitor," "The Journal
|
|
of Biological Chemistry," vol. 268, no. 2, January 15, 1993,
|
|
pp. 810-814. (Thanks to Thomas Michel for bringing this to
|
|
our attention.)
|
|
|
|
"Establishment of Cattle-Human Relationships," by X. Boivin,
|
|
P. Le Neindre, and J. M. Chupin, "Applied Animal Behavior
|
|
Science," vol. 32, 1992, pp. 325-335. (Thanks to Earle
|
|
Spamer for bringing this to our attention.)
|
|
|
|
|
|
-----------------------------------------------------------
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1993-01-07 Upcoming Events at the MIT Museum and Elsewhere
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::::: "Crazy After Calculus" :::::
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An ongoing exhibition of extraordinary humor at MIT from
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prehistoric times through the present day.
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The MIT Museum
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265 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge, MA 02139 USA
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(617) 253-4422 Internet address: ktl@mitvma.mit.edu
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::::: Ig Nobel Prize ceremony on RADIO :::::
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A recording of the 1993 Ig Nobel Prize ceremony is scheduled
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to be broadcast on National Public Radio's "Talk of the
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Nation Science Friday With Ira Flatow" on Friday afternoon,
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November 26, the day after Thanksgiving.
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Internet address: scifriday@aol.com
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::::: Irreproducible Public Reading/Performance :::::
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On Wednesday, January 12, 1994, 7-9 pm., The Bookcellar Cafe
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[1971 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge, MA, (617) 864-9625]
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is sponsoring a public reading/performance of classic JIR
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research papers, including several papers that appear in the
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new book "Sex As a Heap..."). JIR authors who wish to take
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part should contact the editor (jir@mit.edu) as soon as
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possible.
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::::: North American Irreproducible Research Tour :::::
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The publisher of the new JIR book (see section 1993-01-08
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below) will be sponsoring a JIR readings/research tour of
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North American cities, universities, and medical centers.
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The tour is being planned now, and is tentatively scheduled
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to happen in February and/or March. If you would like to
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help organize a session in your area, please contact:
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Lisa Bernstein, Workman Publishing, 708 Broadway, New York,
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NY 10013 voice:(212) 614-7505 FAX:(212) 254-8098
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::::: 1994 Ig Nobel Prize ceremony :::::
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The next ceremony will be held on or about Thursday, October
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6, 1994 at MIT in Cambridge, Massachusetts. You are
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cordially invited to attend. The exact date will be
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confirmed in a future issue of this newsletter.
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------------------------------------------
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1993-01-08 Calls for Papers and Nominations
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CALL FOR PAPERS on the topic: "My Favorite Microbe." Please
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enclose photomicrographs.
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CALL FOR PAPERS on the topic: "Alternatives to H2O." Please
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|
submit research results only, not speculative essays.
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CALL FOR PAPERS analyzing the relationships between nations'
|
|
pollution levels and their (a) climate (especially average
|
|
seasonal temperatures) or (b) distance from the equator.
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Please submit research results only, not speculative essays.
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|
|
CALL FOR ESSAYS for JIR's "Worst Science Teacher
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|
Competition." Essays must be 300 words or less, explaining
|
|
how and why, despite the competition, your nominee is the
|
|
world's worst science teacher. Please enclose any
|
|
photographs, diagrams, or other evidence that might bolster
|
|
your case. All entries become the property of JIR. The
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|
winning essayist and the worst teacher will both be invited
|
|
to attend the 1994 Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony at their own
|
|
expense. [A stilted note for incurably serious readers: the
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|
underlying purpose of this competition is to publicize the
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|
importance of GOOD science teachers!]
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CALL FOR NOMINATIONS for the Ig Nobel Prize. The Prize is
|
|
given for achievements that cannot or should not be
|
|
reproduced.
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----------------------------------------
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1993-01-09 How to Submit Articles to JIR (*)
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Since 1955, The Journal of Irreproducible Results has been
|
|
the publication of record for overly stimulating research
|
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and ideas. JIR publishes original articles, news of
|
|
particularly egregious scientific results, and short notices
|
|
of satiric and humorous intent. The editors look forward to
|
|
receiving your manuscripts, photographs, X-rays, drawings,
|
|
etc. Please do not send biological samples.
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|
|
|
The entire manuscript should be typed double-spaced on
|
|
standard white bond paper, with generous margins all around,
|
|
and submitted with a photocopy.
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Because of the volume of submissions, we are unable to
|
|
acknowledge receipt of manuscripts unless they are
|
|
accompanied by a SELF-ADDRESSED, ADEQUATELY STAMPED
|
|
ENVELOPE.
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|
|
Before you submit an article to The Journal of
|
|
Irreproducible Results, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE skim through
|
|
a recent issue to see the typical length and format of JIR
|
|
articles. At the same time, please read the "Information
|
|
for Contributors" notice in any issue of JIR. Articles may
|
|
be submitted to:
|
|
Marc Abrahams, editor
|
|
The Journal of Irreproducible Results
|
|
c/o Wisdom Simulators
|
|
P.O. Box 380853
|
|
Cambridge, MA 02238 USA
|
|
Telephone number for editorial matters: (617) 491-4437
|
|
|
|
A list of arbitrary suggestions for authors can be obtained
|
|
by sending a SELF-ADDRESSED, ADEQUATELY STAMPED ENVELOPE to
|
|
the same address.
|
|
|
|
E-mail address for editorial questions: jir@mit.edu
|
|
|
|
|
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---------------------------
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1993-01-10 How to Subscribe (*)
|
|
|
|
mini-JIR
|
|
The Mini-Journal of Irreproducible Results is an electronic
|
|
publication, available over the Internet, free of charge. It
|
|
is distributed as a LISTSERV application. We expect to
|
|
publish 6-12 issues per year.
|
|
To subscribe, send a brief E-mail message to either one of
|
|
these addresses:
|
|
LISTSERV@MITVMA.MIT.EDU or LISTSERV@MITVMA
|
|
The body of your message should contain ONLY the words
|
|
"SUBSCRIBE MINI-JIR" followed by your name.
|
|
Here are two examples:
|
|
SUBSCRIBE MINI-JIR Irene Curie Joliet
|
|
SUBSCRIBE MINI-JIR Nicholas Lobachevsky
|
|
|
|
To stop subscribing, send an unsubscribe message to the same
|
|
address. Here are two examples:
|
|
UNSUBSCRIBE MINI-JIR Irene Curie Joliet
|
|
UNSUBSCRIBE MINI-JIR Nicholas Lobachevsky
|
|
|
|
If you have questions about how to subscribe, or if you
|
|
would like to redistribute mini-JIR from your site, please
|
|
send e-mail to: mgeller@mit.edu
|
|
|
|
Back issues of mini-JIR will be available via LISTSERV and
|
|
on various gophers. Details will be published in future
|
|
issues.
|
|
|
|
JIR
|
|
The Journal of Irreproducible Results is a print publication
|
|
published six times per year. JIR is written by scientists
|
|
from around the world, and read by subscribers in 41
|
|
countries.
|
|
Rates for a year's subscription:
|
|
U.S. ------------ individuals: $21 ---- libraries: $40
|
|
Canada, Mexico -- individuals $27.50 -- libraries: $46
|
|
Elsewhere ------- individuals $43 ----- libraries: $62
|
|
Special group subscriptions please call for details.
|
|
To subscribe, send payment to:
|
|
The Journal of Irreproducible Results
|
|
c/o Wisdom Simulators, P.O. Box 380853
|
|
Cambridge, MA 02238 USA Fax: (617) 876-7022
|
|
Telephone: (800) 759-6102 or (617) 876-7000
|
|
|
|
A new collection of outstanding JIR research has just been
|
|
published in book form:
|
|
"Sex As a Heap of Malfunctioning Rubble (and further
|
|
improbabilities)," Marc Abrahams, editor,
|
|
Workman Publishing, New York, 1993.
|
|
Previous collections are available in many libraries:
|
|
A) "The Best of the Journal of Irreproducible Results,"
|
|
George H. Scherr, editor, Workman Publishing,
|
|
New York, 1983.
|
|
B) "Journal der Unwiederholbaren Experimente," George H.
|
|
Scherr, editor, Kruger Verlag, Frankfurt, 1986
|
|
C) "Journal der Unwiederholbaren Experimente II," George
|
|
H. Scherr, editor, Kruger Verlag, Frankfurt, 1989
|
|
|
|
|
|
---------------------------
|
|
1993-01-11 Copyright Notice (*)
|
|
|
|
Please forward this document to anyone who might be
|
|
interested.
|
|
|
|
The only limitations are:
|
|
A) You must copy this document IN ITS ENTIRETY, WITHOUT
|
|
MODIFICATIONS. You do NOT have permission to change the
|
|
contents or to make extracts.
|
|
B) You do NOT have permission to copy this document for
|
|
commercial purposes.
|
|
|
|
The contents of this document are copyright (c) 1993 by the
|
|
Journal of Irreproducible Results.
|
|
|
|
-------------------------------------------------------
|
|
The Mini-Journal of Irreproducible Results ("mini-JIR")
|
|
Editor: Marc Abrahams (jir@mit.edu)
|
|
Technical Brains: Marilyn Geller (mgeller@mit.edu)
|
|
-------------------------------------------------------
|