511 lines
19 KiB
Plaintext
511 lines
19 KiB
Plaintext
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The mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR")
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Issue Number 1995-01
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January, 1995
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ISSN 1076-500X
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Key words: is called research,Ig Nobel,AIRhead
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The mini-journal of inflated research and personalities
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published by The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)
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at The MIT Museum
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1995-01-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS
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1995-01-01 Table of Contents
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1995-01-02 AIRhead News Flashes and Flushes
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1995-01-03 Valentine's Day AIRhead Chocolate Gender Survey
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1995-01-04 Correction: Mass Murderer Accreditation
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1995-01-05 More Skinny on Internet Barbie
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1995-01-06 AIRhead Project 2000: preliminary results
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1995-01-07 Ig Nobel Interlopers!!!
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1995-01-08 May We Recommend...
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1995-01-09 AIRhead Events
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1995-01-10 Calls for Papers
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1995-01-11 Teachers' Guide
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1995-01-12 What is AIR? (*)
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1995-01-13 How to Subscribe to AIR(*)
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1995-01-14 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc.(*)
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1995-01-15 AIR's Mailing and Internet Addresses (*)
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1995-01-16 Please DO make copies! (*)
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Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue.
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1995-01-02 AIRhead News Flashes and Flushes
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A. There was an error in last issue's notice concerning higher-
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level communications. The correct Internet address for God ends
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in .ORG, not .GOV
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B. On this, day 91 of the Official AIRhead Slogans Competition,
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the leading contender for AIR's official German-language slogan is
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"Luft, luft, nichts als is luft." Entries for any of the
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languages should be e-mailed to BOURBAKI@NEU.EDU As stated
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previously: [1] we reserve the right to ignore all entries in
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languages for which we do not readily have translators; and [2]
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we reserve the right to ignore all entries in languages for which
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we do have translators.
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C. Home, home (page) on the AIR
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On Tuesday, January 17, the AIR home page on the World Wide Web
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will be ready for your improbable reading pleasure. This
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delightful academically deviant work is called "Hot AIR." An
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ever-changing kaleidoscopic cornucopia of delights, it [probably]
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contains such useful data as: an X-ray image from our research
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project on "The Taxonomy of Barney;" images from various Ig Nobel
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Prize ceremonies; exhibits from The Museum of Burnt Food; the
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complete ancient archives of mini-AIR ("Stale mini-AIR"); photos
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from the AIRhead Time Caplet ceremony, and more.
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The URL is:
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http://web.mit.edu/afs/athena/org/i/improb/www/home.html
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D. The definition in mini-AIR 1994-10 that "an acre is the amount
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of land that an ox can plow under one man in one day" was
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misleading, if not inaccurate.
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E. The official first premiere commemorative etcetera print issue
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of AIR is now off the presses. It is therefore hot. Our AIRhead
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printer printed a not overly large quantity of extra copies of
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this historic first etcetera print issue. Therefore, shrewd
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individuals who subscribe to AIR before this little treasure trove
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runs out will receive the premiere etcetera issue as the first of
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their subscription. Hurry hurry hurry, for your children's sake
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and so forth.
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F. On advice of counsel, we will not, after all, be publishing Lee
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L. Franklin's treatise on "Obesity Among Feminist Economists:
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Every Tub on its Own Bottom."
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G. Because AIR is still so new, fresh, and partially gaseous, we
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are unknown to the world at large. Please help us change that.
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If you know of specific publications (newspapers, magazines, etc.)
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that might like to write about AIR, please tell us the pertinent
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info (name of the publication, mail and e-mail addresses, phone
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number). Names of specific reporters/editors are especially
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helpful.
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1995-01-03 Valentine's Day AIRhead Chocolate Gender Survey
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In honor of Valentine's Day, we are conducting a survey of gender
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preferences for dark chocolate and light chocolate.
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Votes can be cast by visiting the Hot AIR home page on the World
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Wide Web (See section 1995-01-02).
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Alternatively, please clip the following ballot, fill it out, and
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e-mail your data to: BOURBAKI@NEU.EDU
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AIRhead Chocolate Survey Form
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____MY GENDER IS: FEMALE
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____MY GENDER IS: MALE
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____I PREFER DARK CHOCOLATE
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____I PREFER MILK CHOCOLATE
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==============================
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NOTES
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1. Due to reasons, we cannot acknowledge receipt of individual
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data submissions.
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2. If you don't like chocolate, tough.
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1995-01-04 Correction: Mass Murderer Accreditation
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The survey presented in mini-AIR 1994-12 contains data and/or
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conclusions that may be invalid. The research grant money was
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withdrawn during the final stages of analysis, skewing both the
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results and the researchers. Particularly suspect is the chapter
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reproduced here:
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VOTING PREFERENCES OF MASS MURDERERS
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WHO PARTICIPATED IN THE 1994 US NATIONAL ELECTIONS
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82% voted Republican
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7% voted Democratic
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11% voted for themselves
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1995-01-05 More Skinny on Internet Barbie
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Many readers requested that we publish the full text of Donald
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Turnblade's essay for the AIRhead Time Caplet Interment Contest.
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Our contest was to determine "What/who should be placed into the
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Time Caplet?" The contest winners received nothing, as this
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contest was devised by AIRheads. However, their names and winning
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essays are included in the AIR home page. The home page also
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contains a separate list of items that were actually buried in the
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Time Caplet.
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Donald Turnblade's essay:
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"I propose that a symbol embodying
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the properties of the Internet be enclosed
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in the proposed time capsule. It should represent
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the interconnected-ness of the Internet, the human
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nature of the inhabitance of the Internet, the
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character of Internet communications, and the intellect
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of the Internet. Therefore, a half naked Barbie doll
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with fiber optic cables instead of doll hair would
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represent things fairly well."
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1995-01-06 AIRhead Project 2000: preliminary results
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As announced in mini-AIR 1994-02-03 (June, 1993), we are compiling
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a list of studies, projects, and products that involve the number
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two thousand. Randomly selected items from the list include:
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ITEM #2022 (Submitted by investigator Richard Clark)
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"The Vision 2000 Program," study conducted in 1972 by
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the Tulsa Metropolitan Area Planning Commission.
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COLLECTION #ALM-9 (Collection of items manufactured in
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Brazil, submitted by investigator Marcos G. Almeida)
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"M2000," sports shoes.
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"Ginsu 2000," set of knives that cut anything.
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ITEM #2025
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"Healthy communities 2000," book published by the American
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Public Health Association.
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ITEM #2026 (Submitted by investigators Jacques Therrien and
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Greg Erwin)
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"PS-2000," Canadian Government reform plan for
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the Public Service.
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ITEM #2027 (Submitted by investigator Paul Steckler)
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"ML 2000," computer programming language.
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ITEM #2028 (Submitted by investigator Greg Goss)
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"Century 21," American and Canadian realty company.
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ITEM #2034
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"SimCity 2000," software simulation developed by Maxis,
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for city planning.
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ITEM #2035 (Submitted by investigator Eitan Rubin)
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"Education 2000," program by the Israeli
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Ministry of Education.
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ITEM #2039 (submitted by investigator Traugott Goll)
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"Design 2000," furniture store in Hong Kong.
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ITEM #62401 (Submitted by investigator Dudley A. Horque)
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"2000AD," British comic book.
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1995-01-07 Ig Nobel Interlopers!!!
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Several of the Nobel Laureates warned us that this would happen.
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We were shocked, shocked to discover that a lobbying group in
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Washington, DC has issued a press release announcing that it has
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chosen the winners of the Ig Nobel Prizes.
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The group is called "Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine
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(PCRM)." Neither AIR nor the Ig Nobel Board of Governors had any
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previous knowledge of the group. In short, we AIRheads have no
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connection with any would-be AIRheads in Washington.
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While we sympathize to some extent with PCRM's underlying
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sentiments (for example: we no longer advocate that monkeys be
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forced to become crack cocaine addicts), we cannot permit this
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group to appropriate the good name of the Ig Nobel Prizes. We
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must We must protect the purity and essence of the genuine Ig
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Nobel Prizewinners.
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It seems unthinkable that a group called the "Physicians Committee
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for Responsible Medicine" would knowingly commit an irresponsible
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act. Yet, it has oft been observed that we live is an imperfect
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universe.
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The misappropriation of the name "Ig Nobel Prize" has already
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begun to cause confusion and consternation -- we first learned
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about it via a perplexed phone call from a magazine editor.
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Anything you can do to help get the word out would be appreciated
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by AIRheads everywhere.
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ADDENDUM: Perhaps you have an opinion as to whether this
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unauthorized use of the phrase "Ig Nobel Prize" was a responsible
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act on the part of the "Physicians Committee for Responsible
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Medicine." If you wish to make them aware of your opinion, you
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can telephone them at 202-686-2210 or fax them at 202-686-2216 or
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mail polite letters to them at 5100 Wisconsin Avenue NW,
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Washington, DC 20016.
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1995-01-08 May We Recommend...
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Research reports that merit a trip to the library:
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"Some observations on nitrous oxide cylinders during emptying,
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P.L. Jones, "British Journal of Anaesthesiology," vol. 46, 1974,
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pp. 534-538. (Thanks to Marcel E. Durieux for bringing this to
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our attention.)
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"Learning of Leg Position by Cockroaches in Response to Light," C.
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L. Harris, "Physiology and Behavior," vol. 53, 1993, pp. 313-6.
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"Lonely hearts advertisements reflect sexually dimorphic mating
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strategies," Del Thiessen, Robert K. Young, and Ramona Burroughs,
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"Ethology and Sociobiology," vol. 14, no. 3, May 1993, pp. 209-
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229. (Thanks to Andy Stewart for bringing this to our attention.)
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"Dissociation between the calcium-induced and voltage-driven
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motility in cochlear outer hair cells from the waltzing guinea
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pig," B. Canlon, B. and D. Dulon, "Journal of Cell Science," vol.
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104, 1993, pp. 1137-1143. (Thanks to Fred Wouters for bringing
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this to our attention.)
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(We welcome your suggestions for this column. Please include full
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citations. If possible, please send us a photocopy of the paper.)
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1995-01-09 AIRhead Events
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WILLIAMS COLLEGE, Williamstown, MA Mon, Jan 16, 5:00
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The Log, Spring Street
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Info: 413-597-7482 (Barbara.J.Madden@Williams.edu)
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SCIENCE WRITERS OF NY (SWINY) Thurs, Feb 2, 6:30
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New York Academy of Science, 2 E. 63rd St., NYC
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SCIENCE DISCOVERY MUSEUM, Acton MA Tues Feb 7, 3:30-4:30
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A hyperinteractive presentation for kids and other scientists.
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Info:617-264-4200
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NEW ENGLAND SCIENCE FICTION ASSOCIATION Feb 17, 18 or maybe 19
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Sheraton Tara, Framingham, MA
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MENSA OF CENTRAL NJ Sat, Mar 4, 7:30
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Sheraton, Woodbridge, NJ
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Info: 908-297-5492 matray@watson.bms.com
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1995 IG NOBEL PRIZE CEREMONY Thurs, Oct 5
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INTERSOCIETY POLYMER CONFERENCE Tues, Oct 10
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Stouffer Harborplace Hotel, Baltimore, MD
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The society recommends early reservations. Info: (518) 387-7942
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*** If you would like to host an Improbable Research Event
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*** at your conference, university, research center, company,
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*** hospital, high school, or scenic mountain vacation home,
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*** please get in touch with us.
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---------------------------------------------------------------
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1995-01-10 Calls for Papers
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CALL FOR PAPERS on the topic: "Chocolate Research." Reports of
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your research RESULTS are preferred to speculative essays.
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CALL FOR NOMINATIONS for the 1995 Ig Nobel Prizes. Ig Nobel Prizes
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are awarded for achievements that cannot or should not be
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reproduced. Nominations may be submitted, anonymously or
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otherwise, by e-mail or by standard mail.
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--------------------
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1995-01-11 Teachers' Guide
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[We might repeat this section in future issues. Then again, we
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might not. Please pass it on to any teacher friend who would find
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it useful.]
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Three out of five teachers agree: curiosity is a dangerous thing,
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especially in students. If you are one of the other two teachers,
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AIR and mini-AIR can be powerful tools. Choose your favorite
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hAIR-raising article and give copies to your students. The
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approach is simple. The scientist thinks that he (or she, or
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whatever), of all people, has discovered something about how the
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universe behaves. So:
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* Is this scientist right -- and what does "right" mean, anyway?
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* Can you think of even one different explanation that works
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as well or better?
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* Did the test really, really, truly, unquestionably, completely
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test what the author thought he was testing?
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* Is the scientist ruthlessly honest with himself about how well
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his idea explains everything, or could he be suffering from
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wishful thinking?
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Kids are naturally good scientists. Help them stay that way.
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---------------------------------------------------------------
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1995-01-12 WHAT IS AIR? (*)
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AIR is a new magazine produced by the entire former editorial
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staff (1955-1994) of "The Journal of Irreproducible Results." The
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new magazine's co-founders are Marc Abrahams, who edited The
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Journal from 1990-1994, and Alexander Kohn, who founded The
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Journal in 1955 and was its editor until 1989. AIR is published
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by the MIT Museum in Cambridge, MA. The editorial board consists
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of more than 40 distinguished scientists from around the world
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including seven Nobel Laureates. Each October, AIR and the MIT
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Museum produce the Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony, honoring people whose
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achievements cannot or should not be reproduced.
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---------------------------
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1995-01-13 How to Subscribe to AIR(*)
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Amaze your colleagues. Delight your friends. Impress yourself.
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Subscribe to The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)!
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Put more AIR in the lab, the classroom, the office, the waiting
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room, the library, the living room, the restroom, ...the detention
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center. And it makes a lovely gift of the most unexpected kind.
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===========================================================
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===========================================================
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Please send a subscription to The Annals of Improbable Research
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for a period of (check one):
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___ 1 year (six issues) ___ 2 years (twelve issues)
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Name:
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Addr:
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Addr:
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City: State: ZIP:
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Country:
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Phone (voice): FAX:
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Email address:
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Payment method:
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___ Mastercard ___ Visa ___ American Express
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Card #: Exp. date:
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(If you prefer not to send your credit card number
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via email, please fax, phone or mail in your order.)
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___Check (drawn on US bank) or int'l money order is
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enclosed.
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___ This is a gift from:
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Name:
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Addr:
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Addr:
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City: State: ZIP:
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Country:
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Phone (voice): FAX:
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Email address:
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___Send renewal notice to me.
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___Send renewal notice to my beneficiary.
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Rates (in US dollars)
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USA 1 year - $19.95 2 years - $34.95
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Canada/Mexico 1 year - $27 2 years - $45
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Overseas 1 year - $40 2 years - $70
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Total payment enclosed:
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Send payment to the Annals of Improbable Research (AIR), via
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Email: mitshop@mit.edu
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FAX: (617) 253-8994
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Mail: The MIT Museum
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265 Massachusetts Ave., Cambridge, MA 02139 USA
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Phone: (617) 253-4462
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---------------------------
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1995-01-14 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc.(*)
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mini-AIR is an monthly electronic supplement to The Annals of
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Improbable Research (AIR). It is available over the Internet,
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free of charge. To subscribe, send a brief E-mail message to:
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LISTSERV@MITVMA.MIT.EDU
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The body of your message should contain ONLY the words
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SUBSCRIBE MINI-AIR MARIE CURIE
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(You may substitute your own name for that of Madame Curie.)
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------------------------------------------------------------
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To stop subscribing, send the following message:
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SIGNOFF MINI-AIR
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To obtain a list of back issues, send this message:
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INDEX MINI-AIR
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To retrieve a particular back issue,
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send a message specifying which issue you want.
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For example, to retrieve issue 94-00006,send this message:
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GET MINI-AIR 94-00006
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To obtain a somewhat complete list of gopher sites that maintain
|
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mini-AIR, email us a request.
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|
|
|
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::::: Hot AIR on the World Wide Web
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The URL is:
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http://web.mit.edu/afs/athena/org/i/improb/www/home.html
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::::: AIR extracts on USENET
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The USENET news group clari.feature.imprb_research presents a
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syndicated weekly column of reports extracted from The Annals of
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Improbable Research. The material presented there is different
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from what appears here in mini-AIR. [Please note: The newsgroup is
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available to you if and only if your Internet site subscribes to
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the Clarinet newsgroups.]
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---------------------------
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1995-01-15 AIR's Mailing and Internet Addresses
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The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)
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The MIT Museum
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265 Massachusetts Ave., Cambridge, MA 02139 USA
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Subscriptions: (617) 253-4462 fax:(617)253-8994 mitshop@mit.edu
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Editorial: 617) 253-8329 air@mit.edu
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PLEASE include your Internet address
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in all printed correspondence.
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---------------------------
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1995-01-16 Please make copies! (*)
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We urge you to distribute copies of mini-AIR or excerpts from it.
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The only limitations are:
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A) Please indicate that the material appeared in mini-AIR and is
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reprinted with permission.
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B) You do NOT have permission to copy or excerpt this document
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for commercial purposes.
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------------------------------------------------------------
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(c) copyright 1995, The Annals of Improbable Research
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------------------------------------------------------------
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mini-AIRheads
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-------------
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Editor: Marc Abrahams (marca@mit.edu)
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WWW Editor/Global Village Idiot: Amy Gorin (ringo@mit.edu)
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Associate Editors: Mark Dionne, Stanley Eigen, Jane Patrick
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Technical Difficulties: Diego Garcia, Francesca Thurston
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AIRhead researchers: Nicki Sorel, Nickoli Mnot, Chip LaChien
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Authority Figure: Barbara Linden
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============================================================
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IMPORTANT -- The Annals of Improbable Research is IN NO WAY
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associated with the name "The Journal of Irreproducible
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Results" or with the publisher of "The Journal of
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Irreproducible Results"
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============================================================
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