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The mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR")
Issue Number 1994-04
August, 1994
ISSN 1076-500X
Key words:science humor,improbable research,Ig Nobel
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The mini-journal of inflated research and personalities
published by The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)
at The MIT Museum
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1994-04-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS
1994-04-01 Table of Contents
1994-04-02 News: Mysterious JSTEW, AIRhead for a day; etc.
1994-04-03 Interview with Linus Pauling
1994-04-04 AIRhead Project 2000: preliminary results
1994-04-05 Specimen of the Month
1994-04-06 May We Recommend...
1994-04-07 Upcoming Events
1994-04-08 Calls for Papers
1994-04-09 Purpose of mini-AIR (*)
1994-04-10 How to Submit Articles (*)
1994-04-11 How to Subscribe to AIR(*)
1994-04-12 How to Receive to mini-AIR, etc.(*)
1994-04-13 AIR's Mailing and Internet Addresses (*)
1994-04-14 Please DO make copies! (*)
Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue.
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1994-04-02 News: Mysterious JSTEW, AIRhead for a day; etc.
1. About that flood...
If you received six or so copies of the previous mini-AIR issue,
you are not alone. The problem, as many of you pointed out, was
caused by the LISTSERV distribution site at alaska.edu. We
apologize for the trouble this caused. Steps have been taken to
try to prevent this kind of problem from happening again. Among
other actions, we have ruthlessly, doggedly sought out and
eliminated the mysterious JSTEW whose name appeared on each of the
more than 120,000 spurious messages that the alaska.edu site sent
spewing into e-mailboxes hither, yon, and elsewhere.
[Much of our incoming e-mail was lost during the flood.
If you sent us mail and have received no reply,
kindly try again, if you have the stomach for it.
--the (incompetent) mgmt.]
2. Inflate yourself.
Would you like to be an AIRhead for a Day?
We have prepared an attractively appalling flyer that describes
AIR. We need your help in handing out or posting it at research
conferences, academic meetings, on campuses, and in libraries, and
rest room stalls. If you would like to help, please email us at
air@mit.edu
3. Ig Tickets.
Tickets for this year's Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony go on sale on
Thursday, September 15. For details, see section 1994-04-07 below.
4. Get behind in your reading.
We are very pleased to announce that the first print issue of The
Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) will be published in December.
A subscription form appears in section 1994-04-11, or thereabouts,
we think, maybe.
----------------------------------------------
1994-04-04 Interview with Linus Pauling
by Marc Abrahams
Linus Pauling, perhaps the most distinguished member of the AIR
editorial board, passed away this month. Pauling is widely
regarded as one of the giants in the history of science. He has
been called the father of modern chemistry, and his pioneering
inquiries have ranged wide and far in the disciplines of biology,
physics and medicine. Linus Pauling was the only person who
received two undivided Nobel Prizes. In 1954 he was given the
Nobel prize for chemistry for his work on the nature of the
chemical bond and its application to the structure of complex
substances. In 1962 he was awarded the Nobel peace prize for his
efforts to bring about the treaty banning tests of atomic
explosives in the atmosphere. This interview took place last year.
Q. To what extent did your schooling interfere with your
education?
I don't think it interfered at all. I think I was fortunate going
to public schools in eastern Oregon and then in Portland. They
were excellent schools, grammar school and high school.
Q. To what extent did you interfere with your education?
Very little. Only one episode that I remember. After I'd been in
high school for three years and a half, having started in February
- mid-year, you see - I realized that I could go on to Oregon
Agricultural College if I graduated at the end of the term. There
was a requirement that to graduate high school the student needed
to have two terms of American history. I was always interested in
history, so I signed up for American History A and American
History B. The teacher who was registering said I had to get the
permission of the principal. I went to the principal, and he said,
"No," so I turned around and went out and changed the two terms of
American history to seventh semester mathematics and eighth
semester mathematics - trigonometry was one of them, and advanced
algebra - changed my schedule and didn't get a high school
diploma. So I interfered with the system to that extent. Then
twenty-five years later, perhaps, I was given an honorary high
school diploma by petition of the high school students.
Q. What is the most intriguing experiment someone might do
regarding human nature?
I don't think I could answer such a question without thinking
awhile. I have tried to.
Q. Do you have any advice for young people who are entering the
field?
Well, I have advice for young people in general. That's a guestion
I get asked reasonably often. I say you should look around
carefully at the members of the opposite sex, and pick one out
that you'd like to be with all your life. Get married young, and
stay married. Then second, I say try to decide what you like to do
best - what you enjoy doing - and then check up and see if it's
possible for you to earn a living doing it.
Q. Is there a third point?
No.
Q. Each year we present Ig Nobel prizes to people whose
achievements cannot or should not be reproduced. Who would you
nominate to win an Ig Nobel prize?
Well of course I'd be pleased to have [Edward] Teller get a second
Ig Nobel prize so he could become listed in the Guinness Book of
Records as the person who's achieved the most Ig Nobel prizes.
[Editor's note: Edward Teller, the father of the hydrogen bomb and
the foremost proponent of the "star wars" missile defense system,
was awarded the 1991 Ig Nobel peace prize. The citation said that
Teller had "changed the meaning of peace as we know it."]
Q. Anyone else come to mind?
Well, let me see. In personal science, Dr. Victor Herbert I think
deserves such a prize. He was at Hahnemann and got fired because
he got in a fistfight with the dean. He - Victor Herbert - is
considered to be a great authority on vitamins, always testifying
on vitamin cases, and he was on the food and drug board that
National Academy president Frank Press fired when they brought in
their report that the RDA's [Recommended Daily Amounts] be
decreased. Then when the National Academy of Sciences had a new
committee and got out a new report, he sued them for using some
material that he had written - for plagiarism. I think that case
has been thrown out of court.
And he in a sense is responsible for my having spent more than 20
years in this vitamin field. He irritated me so much about 1969
that I sat down and wrote my book "Vitamin C and the Common Cold."
Well, Victor Herbert is famous among orthomolecular nutritionists
and physicians. You expect the Food and Drug Administration to be
quoting him by just reading the reports, so they quote him as
authority for statements that I think are just not true. Mr.
Herbert seems to me to be a really good candidate.
Q. Anybody else?
Well, there's an anonymous referee for "Physical Review Letters"
who said that a paper that I wrote should be turned down, a paper
in which I talked about the cluster of nucleons revolving about a
central sphere. He said a structure of that sort is impossible
because quantum mechanics requires that the normal state (or any
other state) be either symmetric or antisymmetric. So I wrote to
the editor and said: "Here, this fellow doesn't understand quantum
mechanics, and you're using him as a referee! He would say that a
molecule of hydrogen chloride, for example, couldn't exist." I
didn't get any reply to that from the editor.
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1994-04-04 AIRhead Project 2000: preliminary results
As announced in mini-AIR 1994-02-03 (June, 1993), we are compiling
a list of studies, projects, and products that involve the number
two thousand. Randomly selected items from the list include:
Item # 5962 (submitted by investigator Mike Sell)
Energie 2000, a project by the Swiss energy department.
Item # 7088 (submitted by investigator Howard Frederick)
"NORDIC TELEVISION TOWARDS 2000: INTERNATIONAL AND EUROPEAN
PERSPECTIVES 1," a report from a symposium on Nordic television.
Available from the Department for Media Studies, University
of Bergin.
Subcollection #902 (compiled by investigator A. Padgett Peterson)
Shell Gasoline X2000
BMW 2000(A)
Pontiac J-2000
Capri RS2000
M&M candies.
[NOTE: Peterson is unsure whether Mickey Mouse (MM) qualifies.]
Item #12906 (submitted by investigator Bob Sanders)
Project Sequoia 2000 started up in 1991 as a joint effort
by the University of California and Digital Equipment Corp
Notation #9D (analysis by investigator Dale Murphy)
The federal government documents referring to the year 2000
as a DATE, contract the date to 00, or double zero, or twice
nothing, or however that should be read.
I.e.: The expiration dates of passports issued in "90"
carry as an expiration date of "00."
Item #1381 (submitted by investigator Mark Hahn)
INFORMATION 2000: a conference to be held at
the University of North Texas.
"Join us in Denton, Texas for Information 2000: An
Interdisciplinary Future which promises to be an
outstandingopportunity to interact with present and
future leaders in the information industry."
Item #3905 (submitted by investigator Angie.Johnson)
New Life 2000, a program initiated by Campus Crusade for Christ
Item #5959
Project 3000 by 2000, an initiative by The Association of
American Medical Colleges (AAMC) to increase minority
representatin in medical schools to 3000 by the year 2000.
Subcollection #1225
Gateway 2000 computers
Item # 6391 (submitted by investigator Nigel Birch)
"Software 2000: A View of the Future," the output of a forum
sponsored by ICL and the Commission of the European Communities.
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1994-04-05 Specimen of the Month
An item of interest, selected randomly from the MIT Museum's
collection of Hacks, Tomfoolery & Pranks. (The taxonomic and
analytical text has been prepared by Emmert Lowery, Jr.)
ITEM #344-521-1700-9
This home-made electronic dvice, powered by a 9-volt battery, was
used by an MIT student to control the movable chalkboards in his
classroom from his seat.
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1994-04-06 May We Recommend...
Research reports that merit a trip to the library:
"The Dielectric Properties of Meat" by B. Bodakian and F. X. Hart,
"IEEE Transactions on Dielectrics and Electrical Insulation", Vol.
1, No 2, April 1994. The abstract reads in part: "The
permittivity and conductivity of beef and chicken samples were
measured in the frequency range of 1 Hz to 1 MHz. Differences were
observed in these dielectric spectra for commercially purchased,
as compared to freshly slaughtered samples." (Thanks to Anders
Larsson for bringing this and the next citation to our attention.)
"A Classification of Pure Malt Scotch Whiskies" by F. J. Lapointe
and P. Legendre, "Applied Statistics", Vol. 43, No 1, pp. 237-257,
1994. The authors introduce their study thusly: "Single malts are
well known by amateurs to differ widely in nose, colour, body,
palate and finish. The layman interested in discovering the
diversity of these tasting sensations may wonder how to approach
the problem: what are the main types of single-malt Scotches, and
in what way do they differ? This is the type of question that came
to us after acquainting ourselves with single-malt whiskies during
and after the 3rd Conference of the International Federation of
Classification Societies held at Heriot-Watt University in
Edingburgh, Scotland, in August 1991."
(We welcome your suggestions for this column. Please include full
citations. If possible, please send us a photocopy of the paper.)
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1994-04-07 Upcoming Events
MENSA OF NEW HAMPSHIRE Sunday, Sept 11, 5:30
For info: Judy Swank <judyseank@delphi.com>
w: 508-777-2460 h:603-888-9114
MIT ALUMNI/AE CLUB OF LONG ISLAND date TBA
U RHODE ISLAND, Kingston Sept 30, 3 pm
Pastore Hall Auditorium (Chemistry Dept.)
Spons. by URI Sigma Xi and URI Dept. of Chemistry
For info: Prof. Louis J. Kirschenbaum
kirschenbaum@chm.uri.edu 401-792-2340
IG NOBEL TICKETS go on sale Thurs., Sept. 15, 10:00 am.
Tickets for this year's ceremony go on sale at 10:00 am. sharp at the
MIT Museum Shop in The MIT Student Center. The price is $2 per ticket.
There will be a strict limit of five (5) tickets per person. We have
been asked to remind you that scalping is illegal in the Commonwealth of
Massachusetts.
HISTORY OF THE IG -- a rambling seminar Fri., Sept. 16, 3 pm.
A seminar explaining and obfuscating the achievements of past Ig Nobel
Prizewinners. Takes place at the MIT Museum, 265 Massachusetts Ave.,
Cambridge, MA. For info telephone (617) 253-4444
1994 IG NOBEL PRIZE CEREMONY Thurs. evening, Oct. 6
Kresge Auditorium, MIT, Cambridge, Massachusetts. You are
cordially invited to attend. Lab coats an other ceramonial
regalia are recommended but by no means required. This year
underwear, too, is optional.
POST-CEREMONY LIVE IG RADIO Fri. afternoon, Oct. 7
National Public Radio's "Talk of the Nation/Science Friday" will
broadcast an hour of live interviews with Ig Nobel Laureates,
Nobel Laureates, and hecklers who participated in the previous
night's ceremony. Check your local NPR station for broadcast time.
GODDARD SPACE CENTER, Greenbelt, MD Fri., Oct. 28
MENSA CONVENTION, Chicago, IL Sat., Oct. 29
For info: Dianne Miller, (708) 747-5651
SCIENCE FRIDAY IG BROADCAST Fri., Nov. 25
"Talk of the Nation/Science Friday" will broadcast a (nearly)
complete recording of this year's Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony. Check
your local NPR station for broadcast time.
INTERSOCIETY POLYMER SOCIETY Mon., October 10, 1995
Stouffer Harborplace Hotel, Baltimore, MD
The society recommends early reservations. Info: (518) 387-7942
***
In honor (?) of the book, "Sex As a Heap of Malfunctioning
Rubble," Marc Abrahams, editor, (Workman Publishing, ISBN 1-56305-
312-8), containing outstanding work previously produced by
AIRheads and their collaborators, the books's editor and many of
its other authors are barnstorming North America, doing
readings/slide shows and presenting current trends in improbable
research. If you would like to be a host/instigator for an
Improbable Science Event at your city, university, hospital,
research center, high school, book store, etc., ASAP please
contact the editor.
------------------------------------------
1994-04-08 Calls for Papers
CALL FOR PAPERS concerning research on the effectiveness of (a)
soda pop, (b) Gatorade, or (c) Skin-So-Soft lotion as
microbiological culture growth media. Please include and specific
detailed results and b/w photos.
CALL FOR SLIDES AND X-RAYS that show unexpected shapes (swans,
chickens, elephants, the Eiffel Tower, dogs, fish, smiley faces,
ships, trains, Bart Simpson, Margaret Thatcher, etc., etc.). The
most outstanding of these will appear on the cover of AIR.
CALL FOR NOMINATIONS for the 1994 Ig Nobel Prizes. Ig Nobel Prizes
are awarded for achievements that cannot or should not be
reproduced. Nominations may be submitted, anonymously or
otherwise, by e-mail or by standard mail.
******************************************************************
1994-04-9 Purpose of mini-AIR (*)
The mini-Annals of Improbable Research (mini-AIR) publishes news
about improbable research and ideas. Specifically:
A) Haphazardly selected superficial (but advanced!) extracts of
research news and satire from The Annals of Improbable Research.
B) News about the annual Ig Nobel Prize ceremony.
C) News about other science humor activities intentional and
otherwise.
WHAT IS AIR? (An introduction, of sorts)
AIR is a new magazine produced by the entire former editorial
staff (1955-1994) of "The Journal of Irreproducible Results
(JIR)," the world's oldest satirical science journal. The new
magazine's co-founders are Marc Abrahams, who edited JIR from
1990-1994, and Alexander Kohn, who founded JIR in 1955 and was its
editor until 1989. AIR is published by the MIT Museum in
Cambridge, MA. The editorial board consists of more than 40
distinguished scientists from around the world including seven
Nobel Laureates. EAch October, AIR and the MIT Museum produce the
Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony, honoring people whose achievements cannot
or should not be reproduced.
----------------------------------------
1994-04-10 How to Submit Articles (*)
The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) publishes original
articles, data, effluvia and news of improbable research. The
material is intended to be humorous and/or educational, and
sometimes is. We look forward to receiving your manuscripts,
photographs, X-rays, drawings, etc. Please do not send biological
samples. Photos should be black & white if possible. Reports of
research RESULTS, modest or otherwise, are preferred to
speculative proposals.
Articles are typically 500-2000 words in length.
Articles intended for mini-AIR should be much shorter.
Please send two neatly printed copies.
Alternatively, you may submit via e-mail, in ASCII format.
Because of the volume of submissions, we are unable to acknowledge
receipt of printed manuscripts unless they are accompanied by a
SELF-ADDRESSED, ADEQUATELY STAMPED ENVELOPE.
---------------------------
1994-04-11 How to Subscribe to AIR(*)
Catch up on things you need to know:
The Taxonomy of Barney * A Natural History of the Articulated Lorry *
Effectiveness of Chinese Fortune Cookies * A Review of the Nairobi
Telephone Directory * The Aerodynamics of Potato Chips * The Ig
Nobel Prize Ceremony * Scientific Gossip * Nobel Thoughts (offbeat
interviews with Nobel Laureates) * Elegant Results (reviews of
cosmetics ads) * Hot Air (exhalations from our readers) * X-Rays of
the Rich and Famous * and then some!
The first issue of AIR will appear in December, 1994. Join us as
a subscriber, and as a collaborator!
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Please send a subscription to The Annals of Improbable Research
for a period of (check one):
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Total payment enclosed:
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Phone: (617) 253-4462
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1994-04-12 How to Receive to mini-AIR, etc.(*)
mini-AIR is an electronic publication, available over the
Internet, free of charge. It is distributed as a LISTSERV
application. We publish approximately 12 issues per year.
To subscribe, send a brief E-mail message to either of these
addresses:
LISTSERV@MITVMA.MIT.EDU or LISTSERV@MITVMA
The body of your message should contain ONLY the words "SUBSCRIBE
MINI-AIR" followed by your name.
Here are two examples:
SUBSCRIBE MINI-AIR Irene Curie Joliot
SUBSCRIBE MINI-AIR Nicholai Lobachevsky
To stop subscribing,
send the following message to the same address:
SIGNOFF MINI-AIR
To obtain a list of back issues,
send this message:
INDEX MINI-AIR
To retrieve a particular back issue,
send a message specifying which issue you want.
For example, to retrieve issue 94-00001,send this message:
GET MINI-AIR 94-00001
To obtain a somewhat complete list of gopher sites that maintain
mini-AIR, email us a request.
::::: AIR extracts are on USENET
The USENET news group clari.feature.imprb_research presents a
syndicated weekly column of reports extracted from The Annals of
Improbable Research. The material presented there is different
from what appears here in mini-AIR.
[Please note: The news group is available to you if and only if
your Internet site subscribes to the Clarinet newsgroups.]
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1994-04-13 AIR's Mailing and Internet Addresses
Our mailing address:
The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)
The MIT Museum
265 Massachusetts Ave., Cambridge, MA 02139 USA
(617) 253-4462 fax: (617)253-8994
Editorial matters: (617) 253-8329
PLEASE include your Internet address
in all printed correspondence.
Our Internet addresses:
Editorial matters: air@mit.edu
Ig Nobel matters: ig@mit.edu
---------------------------
1994-04-14 Please make copies! (*)
We urge you to distribute copies of mini-AIR or excerpts from it.
The only limitations are:
A) Please indicate that the material appeared in mini-AIR and is
reprinted with permission.
B) You do NOT have permission to copy or excerpt this document for
commercial purposes.
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(c) copyright 1994, The Annals of Improbable Research
------------------------------------------------------------
The mini-Annals of Improbable Research (mini-AIR)
Editor: Marc Abrahams (marca@mit.edu)
Chairman of the Editorial Board: Alexander Kohn
Sports Desk & Technical Support: Christopher Small
(chris@das.harvard.edu)
Associate Editors: Mark Dionne, Stanley Eigen, Jane Patrick
Technical Difficulties: Diego Garcia, Francesca Thurston
Authority Figure: Barbara Linden
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IMPORTANT -- The Annals of Improbable Research is IN NO WAY
associated with the name "The Journal of Irreproducible
Results" or with the publisher of "The Journal of
Irreproducible Results"
============================================================
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