125 lines
6.1 KiB
Plaintext
125 lines
6.1 KiB
Plaintext
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[ Mind Warp - Volume #6, Issue #12, File #92 ]
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[ Music Review #9 - by Mustaine ]
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Music Review #9
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[Mustaine]
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Mustaine's Music Scale
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(revised <YET again> 06/15/96)
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0) Sucks!!! 6) Gettin' there...
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1) Bites!!! 7) Kewl..sorta
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2) Eww!!! 8) Yo! I can dig this stuff!
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3) Crap!!! 9) Woo! Play some more...
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4) Blah, Blah... 10) Incredibly Spiffy!
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5) Not half bad, but crap.. 11) Has to be by Dream Theater?
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NR) FUnky!..but no rating possible.
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Alrighty then. My second installment in this issue of the zine.
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Let's see...incoming Stabbing Westward, Candlebox, and Weird "Al." I lied
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about the Dream Theater and Enya. We'll get to them someday...reviewing
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like 4 Dream Theater albums would just take too damn long.
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-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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Band #1
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Name : Candlebox
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Album : Lucy
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Info. : When the bomb dropped on Pearl Harbor, this album should have been
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visiting. Although the debut album by Candlebox kicked Monkey
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Balls, this one sucks them. And I don't mean those silly little
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testes baby, I'm talking large, milky, hairy, monkey balls. You
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might as well turn the album OFF after the first song...which isin't
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even that great. Don't buy it...unless your a cult fan.
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1) Simple Lessons (8)
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2) Drowned (3)
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3) Lucy (3)
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4) Best Friend (2)
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5) Become (To Tell) (3)
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6) Understanding (4)
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7) Crooked Halo (3)
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8) Bothered (2)
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9) Butterfly (5)
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10) It's Amazing (2)
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11) Vulgar Before Me (3)
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12) Butterfly (Reprise) (2)
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A reprise??? Who do they think they are? SEAL? Ugh.
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Band #2
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Name : Stabbing Westward
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Album : Wither Blister Burn + Peel
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Info. : I do believe they debuted in my little music thang a while ago with
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their first album. I do believe that album rocked. WOO. They're
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back. <insert twighlight zone here> Ok, so the album isin't as
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quite cutting edge as the first...and well..they still are singing
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about how women always screw them, and they can never keep them,
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and they never, ever get laid. Oh well. They're still cool dammit.
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Yeah, the radio plays them now..(Although why they play this album
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and not the first is beyond MY comprehension)..so I guess they are
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mainstream. Welcome to mainstream boyz...you need to get laid.
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1) I Don't Believe (9)
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2) Shame (8)
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3) What Do I Have To Do? (9)
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4) Why (7)
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5) Inside You (8)
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6) Falls Apart (9)
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7) So Wrong (8)
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8) Crushing Me (9)
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9) Sleep (7)
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10) Slipping Away (8)
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Band #3
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Name : "Weird Al" Yankovic
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Album : bad hair day
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Info. : Um. Yeah. Well, ok. Twisted, yet funny, yet not bad music.
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End of Commentary, you amish loving dweezels.
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Sike! He covers songs, only twists them to major funny. That
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f*cking lame rap song by Coolio is now "Amish Paradise." Hmm...
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doesn't complain about opression and all that crap, and is
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mildly entertaining...I'd say about 3 steps up from the original.
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U2's Hold me, thrill me song is turned into "Cavity Search."
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Very amusing.. "The Alternative polka" will have you jammin to
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such greats as Trent Reznor... and "Gump", a parady of that
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"President of the USA" band's song...will have you and your
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box of chocholates on the floor. It's a definite buy!
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1) Amish Paradise (NR)
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2) Everything You Know is Wrong (5)
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3) Cavity Search (NR)
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4) Callin In Sick (7)
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5) The Alternative Polka (NR)
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6) Since You've Been Gone (7)
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7) Gump (NR)
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8) I'm So Sick Of You (6)
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9) Syndicated Inc. (NR)
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10) I Remember Larry (5)
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11) Phony Calls (NR)
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12) The Night Santa Went Crazy (7)
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==============================================================================
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E-Mail mustaine@wam.umd.edu to become a distributor!
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==============================================================================
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