64 lines
2.7 KiB
Plaintext
64 lines
2.7 KiB
Plaintext
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[ Mind Warp - Volume #6, Issue #09, File #89 ]
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[ Excuses to Get Out of Class - by Raven ]
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Excuses to Get Out of Class
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[raven]
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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What? Another stupid list of ideas? Yup, this time, I've got
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idiotic excuses to get out of class (many of which I have tried, some of
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which actually worked...). Enjoy.
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1) "I'm having female problems." (works for guys, too)
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2) "I think I'm having a flashback, 'cause there's this ugly demon sitting
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at my desk, and I'm scared. Can I go to the Substance Abuse Counselor?"
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3) "I just got through 'talking' to my girlfriend, and now I've got blue
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balls, can I go to the bathroom to (ahem) fix this?"
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4) "Can I go to my counselor to see about changing classes? The chick who
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sits in front of me is giving me wood, and I'm much too well hung for it
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to go un-noticed."
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5) "Can I go to the bathroom? I forgot to wipe..."
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6) "I just smoked a fat blunt, can I go to the nurse for eye drops?"
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7) "I just smoked a gram of crack, GIMME A PASS, BITCH!"
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8) "I need to go ask my health teacher where I can purchase extra-large
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condoms at.."
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9) "I need to go ask my health teacher where I can purchase petite condoms
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at.."
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10) Put your hand over your mouth, inflate your cheeks, and run out of class
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like you're gonna spew. Don't forget gagging noises. Go back to class
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ten minutes later, apologize, and ask for a pass to the nurse.
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If all else fails, play the race card:
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"You won't gimme a pass because I'm (fill in ethnic backgroud here)! I'm
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gonna sue!"
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raven(69) <raven96@hic.net>
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==============================================================================
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E-Mail mustaine@wam.umd.edu to become a distributor!
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==============================================================================
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