129 lines
5.4 KiB
Plaintext
129 lines
5.4 KiB
Plaintext
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%%% %%% %%%% %%% %% %%%%%
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%% %%% %% %% %% %% %% %% %%
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%% % %% %% %% %%%% %% %%
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// // //// ////// ////// //
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\\ \ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\
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// /// // //////// ////// ////// //
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\\\\ \\\\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\
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/// /// // // // // // //
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[ Mind Warp - Volume #6, Issue #00, File #80 ]
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[ "Surfing the Night Away" by Mustaine ]
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Surfing the Night Away
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[mustaine]
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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It's three in the morning on a colder than average spring day. The
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screen in front of Joe Schmoe is refreshing faster than the human eye will
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ever be able to see without the aid of technology. The modem that is
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attatched to the computer Joe is using is humming gently, and there is no
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one else around.
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Joe is in the University Computer Lab, staring at a several
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simultaneous windows open on his desktop. One screen shows a IRC channel
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scrolling away with hundreds of people trying to get a word in about the
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topic "WAREZ." Another shows a web page, with 4,000 different shareware
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games ready to be downloaded. Yet another has a e-mail program flashing
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news that 4 new mail items have appeared in the inbox. Further still,
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there are windows open with a word processor with a half typed report,
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a multi-user dungeon game, and lastly, there's a window with a report from
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a znol (zephnr utility) search of online people matching an .anyone file.
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Joe's eyes are cracked red with blood, and he stares in a manner not unlike
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a truck driver that has been on a anti-sleep pill for over 48 hours.
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In another three hours, Joe will rip himself from the computer,
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catch a dougnut at the University Cafeteria, and finally collapse into
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slumber in the back of a lecture hall for his 8:00 class.
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* Insert Mustaine's bitching here... *
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(Like you didn't know it was coming! Pa-LEEZ)
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Sounds pretty sick huh? Sounds like a real loser huh? Sounds like
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one of those f*cked up nerd geeks that the local news channels run internet
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specials on every month, right? AM I CLOSE PEOPLE?
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Well, let me tell you how close I am. (And you know I'm close.)
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Take out the "..nerd geeks.." part, and insert AVERAGE COLLEGE STUDENT, and
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the above statement was extremely valid. So valid it makes me sick.
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People these days are discovering something wonderful that has been
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emerging over the last few years as a new frontier for mankind. Of course,
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I'm talking about the internet. Yes, the wonderful internet, where you can
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do almost everything...EVEN SEX in a manner... without ever leaving the
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comfort of your rocking chair. Of course, I've been told cybersex usually
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includes one hand OFF the keyboard, BUT DON'T ASK ME. I abstain, thank you.
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In this discovering, they are also becoming addicted. And it's not
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too hard, either. There are so many things available, so many things at
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a "instant gratification" level, that the internet is like a drug. A very
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legal drug too. Taken in small doses, I can see this drug as usefull, a
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learning experience, even a step forward for mankind. Overabused, and it
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will turn the average person into a sniveling, sleepless zombie who has
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no f*cking clue what is going on in the real world.
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Wake up people. Go read a book, take a walk, or hang out with
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friends. F*ck with the people at McDonald's, or write your President hate
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mail...USING SNAIL MAIL... Drink soda, exercise for twenty minutes, play
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with furry animals. DO SOMETHING. But please, turn off the computer and
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do a reality check. Do you need a new to be sitting at a screen for HOURS
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and HOURS? Do you need that new shareware utility the SECOND it comes out?
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Do you have to check e-mail every five minutes?
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GO. NOW. AND DON'T COME BACK UNTIL YOU DO A REALITY CHECK.
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la la de la la la, la de la la la.
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la la de la la la, la de la la la.
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Papa Smurf ate Smurfette every night.
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(the question is: sweet or sour?)
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la la de la la la, la de la la la
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la la de la la la, la de la la la.
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(If your still reading this, your one of the f*cking losers I was talking
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about when I wrote this. Go rent a clue, and get the f*ck off the
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computer.)
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Handy smurf did himself, and Brainy smurf created a VMRL smurf
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image to get off with.
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la la de la la la, la de la la la
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la la de la la la, la de la la la
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Musty Smurf has a girlfriend. He is tied up with a lot of
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school crap. Musty Smurf needs more writers, la de la la la.
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==============================================================================
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Call Omniverse, the Mind Warp WHQ - (301) 718-0225
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==============================================================================
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