70 lines
3.3 KiB
Plaintext
70 lines
3.3 KiB
Plaintext
|
|
%%% %%% %%%% %%% %% %%%%%
|
|
%%%% %%%% %% %%%% %% %% %%
|
|
%% %%% %% %% %% %% %% %% %%
|
|
%% % %% %% %% %%%% %% %%
|
|
%% %% %%%% %% %%% %%%%%
|
|
|
|
// // //// ////// ////// //
|
|
\\ \ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\
|
|
// /// // //////// ////// ////// //
|
|
\\\\ \\\\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\
|
|
/// /// // // // // // //
|
|
|
|
[ Mind Warp - Volume #5, Issue #03, File #074 ]
|
|
[ "New Handgun Application" by Raven ]
|
|
|
|
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
New Hand Gun Application
|
|
[raven]
|
|
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
Ok, after living in Texas for a few months now, I've decided that
|
|
the US needs a better application for people who want to purchase handguns.
|
|
If a person answers yes to any of the following questions, then they cannot
|
|
purchase a gun, if they answer yes to 3 or more of the questions, they should
|
|
be locked up.
|
|
|
|
1. Do you live in Texas and are PROUD of being a Texan?
|
|
2. Do you sort mail for the US postal service?
|
|
3. Do you use Prozac?
|
|
4. If you have ever been in the military :
|
|
a. Do you feel the government has wronged you? (besides being
|
|
unwillingly drafted)
|
|
b. Do you feel the people of the US have wronged you?
|
|
c. Do you often feel that someone is watching you?
|
|
d. Do you often feel that everyone is out to get you?
|
|
e. Have you ever slept with your gun?
|
|
f. Were you ever expirimented upon with LSD while in the military?
|
|
5. If you are an active church goer :
|
|
a. Do you plan on stock-piling your weapons?
|
|
b. Do you believe that you or any member of your church is a prophet?
|
|
c. Do you believe that you or any member of your church is God?
|
|
6. Do you regularly use any of the following as pronouns :
|
|
"Joe," "Bra," "Dawg," "Ese," "Vato."
|
|
7. Do you often talk of wanting to "put a cap in [someone]'s ass" because
|
|
they wronged you?
|
|
8. Do you think seven (7) is an appropriate age to teach your child(ren) to
|
|
shoot a gun.
|
|
9. Do you plan to use teflon-coated(armor piercing) or hollow-point
|
|
(man-stopper) bullets?
|
|
10. Is the second amendment to the US Constitution your favorite amendment?
|
|
11. Did you get upset when the Brady Bill was passed?
|
|
12. Are you a member of, or do you plan on joining a militia?
|
|
13. Have you willingly watched the movie 'Platoon' over five times?
|
|
14. Do you hear voices?
|
|
15. Do you wish to kill off any group of people? (determined by race,
|
|
religion, nationality, ethnic background or political affiliation (with
|
|
the exception of french Canadians who wish to secede from Canada, and
|
|
real french people who like to test nuclear weapons; All of these people
|
|
should die.))
|
|
|
|
Welp, that's it. Ummm... ok.
|
|
|
|
raven(69) <raven96@hic.net>
|
|
|
|
==============================================================================
|
|
Call Omniverse, the Mind Warp WHQ - (301) 718-0225
|
|
==============================================================================
|
|
|