54 lines
2.9 KiB
Plaintext
54 lines
2.9 KiB
Plaintext
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[ Mind Warp - Volume #2, Issue #2, File #029 ]
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[ "Driving Grievances" by Slartibartfast ]
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Driving Grievances
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[Slartibartfast]
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I really enjoy driving. The open road, the hum, yes hum not roar,
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of my 4 cylinder engine, the wind whipping through my hair, and the radio
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blasting only Rock 'n' Roll. There are two minor problems, cops (of course),
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and other drivers.
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Cops are fairly easy to deal with. Here's how, WATCH OUT FOR THEM!
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The one time that I was surprised by a cop was when I passed by a speed trap
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at 75 mph. This is where my clever little escape tactics come in to play.
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Only pass speed traps at 75 when the cop is very intensly eating a donut
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and the jelly dribbles out onto his clean, pressed uniform.
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This brings me to the other drivers. Especially those yuppies in their
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BMW's, thirty-something women with PMS, and ignorant 16 year old schmucks
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whose parents bought them BMW's on their birthday. Here is my simple advice
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concerning these three types of drivers, STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM THEM! Here
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is my simple advice to them, DIE! If there was any justice in this world
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these people wouldn't be driving anything but railroad spikes through their
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heads.
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Before I finish this, I must say that if you the reader happens to fit
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into one of the above categories, then sell your Beemer, take a vacation in
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Antarctica, and don't bother to come back. I don't mean to offend you, I'm
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just pissed because my car was in the shop for two weeks after some thirty-
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something women smashed my car, IN A PARKING LOT!
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For all you safe drivers out there, good luck and best wishes to you.
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I'm more than happy to be sharing the same road with you. For all of you
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who don't drive yet, well, good, ride a bike! Oh, and if you're ever passed
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by a madman in a little red car, forgive me, I'm not driving too fast, I'm
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just flying low!
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- Slartibartfast
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==============================================================================
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Call the Recluse BBS at (301) 314-1505
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==============================================================================
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