186 lines
7.6 KiB
Plaintext
186 lines
7.6 KiB
Plaintext
Ü Ü Ü Mighty Issue #39
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Ü Ü Û Û Ü illicit "Malakai's Guide to Finer BBSing"
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Û ß Û Û Û ÛÛ Liquid -By Malakai
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ß ß ß ß ß ß Kollections
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ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ÄÄÄ ÄÄ ÄÄ Ä Ä Ä Ä Ä Ä
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Hello! Welcome to Malakai's Guide to Finer BBSing. In this short TFile
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I will explain the various types of BBSes, the types of people you'll find,
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and other various BBS informational goodies! But be sure you take the Moron
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Test to see if you qualify as a Moron, an Average, or a Good user; This will
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furthur personalize this manual to fit YOUR needs!
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ÛÛÛÛ²²²²±±±±°°°° MORON TEST °°°°±±±±²²²²ÛÛÛÛ
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Question 1: In what frequency per call do you use the words HEY or WAZZUP <or
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any derrivitave thereof> to one given person?
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A) NONE (0 points)
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B) ONCE (1 point)
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C) TWICE (2 points)
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D) THREE (3 points)
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Question 2: In what frequency do you download files over 200k large that are
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not TFiles?
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A) NEVER (0 points)
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B) RARELY (1 point)
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C) SOMETIMES (2 points)
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D) OFTEN (3 points)
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Question 3: In what frequency do you type in all CAPS when not nessecary?
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A) NEVER (0 points)
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B) RARELY (1 point)
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C) SOMETIMES (2 points)
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D) OFTEN (3 points)
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Question 4: In what frequency do you type private messages in a public message
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base?
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A) NEVER (0 points)
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B) RARELY (1 point)
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C) SOMETIMES (2 points)
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D) OFTEN (3 points)
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Question 5: In what frequency do you type private messages that are one line
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and say things that mean nothing to either of you?
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A) NEVER (0 points)
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B) RARELY (1 point)
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C) SOMETIMES (2 points)
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D) OFTEN (3 points)
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Question 6: How often do you upload/download ElItE WaReZ?
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A) NEVER (0 points)
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B) RARELY (1 point)
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C) SOMETIMES (2 points)
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D) OFTEN (3 points)
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Give yourself 1 point if you DL X-Rated GIFs, another 1 if you look at them, and
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another 2 if you talk about them online in messages or private mail (Private is
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just 1 point)
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Give yourself 2 points if you just go online to read messages and then logoff,
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but never reply.
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TOTAL UP THE POINTS NOW! :)
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0-6 points; You are a good user! Hopefully you will call anywhere you can.
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7-12 points; You are ok t'have around. Try n' get rid of the bad habits ;)
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12-15 points; You should try and gain some social skills before calling.
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16+ points; Here's a quarter, get a life pal. Just don't call my system!
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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The Types of BBSes <and a little of what they offer>
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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ElItE WaReZ bOaRdZ: These boards are bad for the starting caller; You will not
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gain access here. Online here, all that goes on is file uploading and download-
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ing, VERY seldom are there good posters on these types of boards. Unfortunately
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for people like me, these boards are becoming more popular. If you scored a 6
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and below I would not recommend calling, as you would probably not like it; The
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people here do not post or talk, they don't like people who come in and try and
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disrupt this way of life they have.
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Message Boards: These boards are good for starting callers to call, as they are
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always open to new callers. Online here, there are <or should be> active message
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posting and the conversations should have a demi-intelligent or intelligent
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meaning. I would not recommend for 12-15 point scorers to call, but they can.
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And 16+ point scorers wouldn't like it here and probably wouldn't last long if
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they kept up the bad habits.
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Chat Boards: These boards are GREAT for starting callers, they get them hooked.
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Many varied types of people call these boards and chat with people; Some have
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active message bases, some have active <or just large> file bases. Some have
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both. This is ok because they usually have 4 or morelines. I still would not
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recommend for 16+ callers to call here; As well as people 12 and under.
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Old Computer Boards (Apple, Atari): Do not waste your time, these boards suck.
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Anyone can get access, but they have nothing to offer unless you want a game
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like "Sticko the Super-Duper-Wuper-TWIG" for your Apple 2e and if you still use
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your Apple 2e you probably aren't even reading this Guide!
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Commodore 64/128 Boards & Amiga Boards: These boards are unpredicatable. Some
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have many lines, others have 1. Some are active, some are not. These are some-
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times the best AND worst BBS's to call.
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If there is a BBS type you would like added to this Guide, please notify me
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on any BBS I am on; Or you can send Internet E-Mail to me at this adress:
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Malakai@Thunderbolt.com
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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God Lord! There are People ACTUALLY CALLING!
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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There are many types of people online you may meet and learn to like,
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I'll just give you a list of some of the generalities. :)
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The Warezman: Doesn't say much, but what he says is usually about warez or is
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advertising a WaReZ board. Files: A+, Messages: F, Overall: D
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The Messageman: Has a lot on his mind and posts a lot in the messages, doesn't
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give a flying fuck about files. Files: F, Messages: A+, Overall: C
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The SuperUser: This guy uploads when he can and can always come up with a
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response to messages. Files: B Messages: A+, Overall: A-
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Joe Average User: Uploads when he wants something, posts when he thinks he
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needs to. Files: C, Messages: C, Overall: D
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Posting WaReZman: Likes to rip on people usually, try not to talk to them
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because they are usually assholes. Files: B-, Messages: C-, Overall: D
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MiLK Writer: Writes these stupid TFiles. :)
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Files: A+ <because what they write is cool>
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Messages: A+ <see Files>
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Overall: F <figure this one out> :)
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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BBS FUN! <Fun things to do on your local BORING BBS>
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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1) Logon and tell everyone that the Feds are watching the BBS Closely! Start
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a rumor that the sysop blabbed on everyone there. Watch the LaMerZ SQUIRM!
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2) Logon under a fake account and pretend you are from the FBI <this is a
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BLAST on Elite boards, freaks the shit out of em, they usually drop carrier
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after awhile>; Say you are investigating a report of Piracy on the BBS <if
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you hate a certain member of the BBS, snitch on 'em>
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3) Upload a virus contaminated file under a fake account and see if the Sysop
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REALLY scans them.
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4) Upload a file PRN or LPT1 and see what fun things happen! <grin>
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5) Upload MiLKView there!
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6) Try and hack the Sysop's account about 30 times, then logon as a NEW user
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with the handle, "IMA HACKER"
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7) Pretend you are writing an MCI message <telegard/renegade boards only> but
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<only if you have this information> instead reveal all your enemies information!
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<Do this ONLY with a fake account!> It's GREAT for pissing of Sysops and Users
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alike!
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If you can think of any other fun things to do on Local, Boring BBS's, write
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me in the CyberSpace...
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UNTIL THEN, This is MALAKAI! Signing off...
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Ducks! Ducks! Everywhere! You cannot see them! They're not there!
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Û Û [MiLK] Information
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Û Û
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Û Û [MiLK] Sites:
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Û Û
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Û Û The Obloid Sphere..........(708)965-3098 [14,400]
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Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û CUM........................(708)961-1220 [14,400]
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Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û The Asylum.................(908)914-9318 [14,400]
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Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û (NUP) I LOVE FEDS
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Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û
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Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û [MiLK] Issue #039, "The Guide to Finer BBSing" by Malakai
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ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ This file is Exactly 7826 bytes long
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