107 lines
6.4 KiB
Plaintext
107 lines
6.4 KiB
Plaintext
THE OFFICIAL HISTORY OF THE M00SE ILLUMINATI
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(Updated July 12, 1990)
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ORIGINS
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In South Windsor High School, located in the suburban hell of South
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Windsor, Connecticut, in the school year of 1983-84, a junior named Christopher
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S. Phillips was greatly interested in m00ses. He believed that m00ses are not
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only some of the most peaceful animals in existence, but also far more
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intelligent than they are generally given credit for.
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Coincidentally -- or perhaps not -- a sophomore, William R. Dickson, had
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just finished reading the _Illuminatus!_ trilogy by Robert Shea and Robert
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Anton Wilson. Greatly intrigued by the idea of secret conspiracies controlling
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the world, he talked about it constantly.
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Then, one day during a particularly dull geometry class, another junior
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named David s Tarr told Chris and Bill that it could be interesting to form a
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conspiracy whose goal would be to confuse the public by strange but relatively
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peaceful means. It could be called the M00se Illuminati.
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Putting their heads together, they worked out the hypothetical details. A
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symbol was invented, secret mystical synchronicity numbers were agreed upon, a
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secret signal was worked out, and a secret call was stolen from a comic strip.
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Suddenly, without warning, they were confronted by a senior, Mike Harm.
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He showed them a design he had worked out for a M00se Illuminati shirt. With a
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few modifications he was ready to mass-produce the shirts. Due to the creative
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efforts of this odd fellow, the M00se Illuminati had finally become a reality.
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Bill, Chris, Dave and Mike were joined by several of their friends, and
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soon after came the fateful day when the secret conspiracy revealed itself to
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the poor, sheep-like occupants of South Windsor High. It didn't take long for
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the established system to crumble, to be replaced by the sleek, modern power of
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the M00se Illuminati. A small rebellious group was formed, but it was ignored,
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and consequently short-lived.
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REFORMATIONS
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The first reformation of the M00se Illuminati occured in 1985, when the
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charter was transferred from a TI-99 word processor (printing on a silver
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scroll about 2" wide) to a $20,000 typesetting machine at the high school. A
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new shirt design was designed and produced.
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By the end of 1986, the M00se Illuminati had grown to a world-wide
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organization, with chapters in Norway, Japan, and Germany. By mid-1987, it had
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expanded still further, with a large throng at the University of Connecticut, a
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smaller one at the University of Hartford, and individual chapters scattered
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throughout the world.
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The organization fell into hard times then, slumping as members were
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scattered too thinly to maintain meaningful contact between each other. The
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"real world" pressed close; many chapters were now too busy to continue their
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work of furthering the causes and expansion of the M00se Illuminati. It began
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to look as if only a major discovery, or a miracle brought about by Leviam00se
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itself, could save the M00se Illuminati.
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The discovery was made, and the second reformation began.
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William Dickson, one of the original founders, was finally a freshman in
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college. By pure coincidence -- or perhaps not -- he was introduced to Bitnet,
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the intercollegiate computer network.
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The second reformation of the group came to pass then, when Bill send the
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information file of the M00se Illuminati to the Stony Brook Underground, a
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listserv list dedicated to the expansion of human knowledge. The information
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file suddenly seemed to have a life of its own; it found its way to every
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corner of the Net, and responses flooded in. The organization was suddenly
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much larger, consisting of approximately 50 chapters by the end of a month.
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In early 1988, this expansion triggered a negative response. Suddenly,
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without warning, a copy of the charter fell into the hands of the Grand
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People's Fascist Monarchy of Nebutu, also knows as "the Martins." A massive
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power struggle ensued, lasting for at least a fortnight. The M00se Illuminati
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was, of course, victorious, but in the interest of furthering confusion in the
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world, the Martins were allowed to maintain the self-delusion that they had
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won.
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The third reformation began June 1, 1988, when the Bill Dickson chapter
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started work on what was to become a (fairly) regular electronic newsletter:
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"M00SE DROPPINGS: A-M00se-ing Anecdotes and Illumination By and For the Pawns
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of the M00se Illuminati." Once again, the size of the group increased
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dramatically, reaching 100 Bitnet chapters by mid-December.
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In January 1989, the Bill Dickson chapter became unable to fulfill his
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duties as editor of "M00se Droppings." Two exemplary m00ses from Central
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Connecticut State University stepped in and took over at issue #21.
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In October 1989, Goblin and Salmon M00se, who were extremely busy, turned
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the editorship over to the Buffalo thr0ng, at the Bill Dickson chapter's
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suggestion. Pat Salsbury, AKA Warm00se, took over as chief editor at issue
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#30.
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THE PRESENT
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The M00se Illuminati is currently in the midst of its fourth reformation.
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In response to an increasing level of fascism on the part of the United States
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government, the Bill Dickson chapter became morally outraged. The Buffalo
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thr0ng was in a slump, so Bill took the reins of "M00se Droppings" back in hand
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with issue #41. He is attempting to introduce a political level to the group,
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without compromising the oddness, integrity, and (of course) intrigue that it
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originally possessed.
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Two major current projects are the establishment of contact with the
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hundreds of m00ses who do not have access to computer networks, and plans for a
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paper, snail-mail version of "M00se Droppings." Coupled with several minor
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projects, such as a M00se Illuminati dictionary and an official M00se
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Illuminati standardized system of measurement, the M00se Illuminati is
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experiencing a new period of vitality. Even with a major falloff in the number
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of cyberm00ses (due to summer vacation and graduations), we have over 170
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chapters on the Net, with several more being added every day. This is truly a
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new renaissance for the M00se Illuminati, indicative of our ever-increasing
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power over the workings of the world.
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You now know our history and our present -- our future will be more
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glorious still.
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Pickle
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