751 lines
31 KiB
Plaintext
751 lines
31 KiB
Plaintext
_ __ _______ _______
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| | / / / __ \ | __ \ We're cool
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| | / / | / \__| | [ ] | because WE
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| | / / | | | [ ] | got a group
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| |/ / | | | [__] | of friends
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| / | | __ | _____/ 2-gether
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| \ | | | \ | __ \ and a cool
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| |\ \ | | | | | [ ] | acronym!
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| | \ \ | | | | | [ ] |
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| | \ \ | \_/ | | [__] |
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|_| \_\ \_______/ |_______/
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K-RAD GNUZ & BULLSHIT
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THIS ISSUE IS DEDICATED TO
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Tiphoid
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CUZ SHE ASKED US TO. GOTTA GIVE IT UP FOR THE LADIEZ
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GR33TZ GO OUT 2:
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Kentucky Phreaked Chicken..............Great artikahls!
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The Portland MAFIA.....................Keep up the good work!
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ToNe Boy...............................If we ever fucking find you
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we're going to shove those
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buttons up your ass
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CaRrIer Boy............................" " " "
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modem up your ass. No, we
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won't connect with you.
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WaReZ Boy.............................."Anybody got the latest
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Mechwarrior?"
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W@R3Z!@#
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Lurker BOy(s)..........................must of been a million
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of you guys on the 617
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bridge.
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Talk or something!
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CoDe Boy...............................Here's one for you: S.O.S.
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and the REAL people we wish to greet.
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CyberD.................................Keep working on that script.
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PRoBE..................................You'll be a hero!
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UNiQUE.................................Aussie dewd
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Pot Head.............................../dcc send Blu/\/T PotHead
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Enigma.................................Thanks for the FTP site
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phigan.................................TaNKz 4 da Skr0ll3r!
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SZ.....................................d00d!
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D-FENS.................................How the hell are ya!?
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OPP_...................................like the n00 vmb
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Digital_G..............................grrr!
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dracs..................................FUCK YOU!@# (hehe)
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B00B13Z................................Hi Heather Babe!
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L3GZ...................................Hi Amy Babe!
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and more, but I forgot 'em. but who cares?
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P.S. All sentences in {}'s are comments from the editors.
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P.S.S. Our FTP site (hopefully) is enigma.rhn.orst.edu in /pub/aardvark.
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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*********************[ 1. RAINY DAY PROJECTKZ ON IRC ]*********************
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Let's face it, IRC can really fucking be boring sometimes. I mean,
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there's a limit to having netsex with some chick named B1gB00bz,
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couriering 100 megabytez of WaRez for Your Gr0up(not this one, yet) on
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#warez, being /KILLed by irc operatorz for saying shit like "I'm G01nG 2
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kill your Cat if You dOnt OP ME!@" or whatever the hell you do. So
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here are some K-rAd ideas to try out if you're bored at 3 am and
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don't want to bother with studying for that test yoh have in 5
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hours. Make sure you only do this with your legit account. That
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shows 'em you really have balls to the community. DOn't evne Bother
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with that account on irc.nsysu.edu.tw. it's too lagged anyway.
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1. Join #francais and say "you French faggots!"
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No, wait, sorry about this one. that idea was
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submitted by my 10 year old brother.
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2. Join #deutsch as Hitler and say "Ich habe keine
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Deutschlande!" or say something cool in German.
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(alirght, FUCK the countries)
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3. Join #blaklife if you're not one of the 1000 sites that
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aren't banned.
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a. Get a nick of Fahrrakan(or however you spell his name.
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I'm still pissed at him for him calling me a white
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devil!) and preach in all uppercase LetTerz
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b.Get a nick of Malcolm_X and do some MORE preaching,
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by any means neccesary.
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c.Get a nick of M-L-K and do even MORE preaching!!!!
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- or if you have the MOST ballz -
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d. get a nick of BillCosby and ask if anybody has some
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coke or Jell0. Jell0 is more eleet than ANY warez you
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can find on IRC. and there IS plenty of warez on iRC.
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e. get a nick of MIchaelJackson(good luck on fittnig this
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in, heh). and ask if there are any little boyz on there.
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if no luck, just go to #gaysex or #teensex and repeat
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this step over again.
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4. Join #palestine as Allah or whoever you can think of and say
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'YOU WILL ALL DIE' or the like.
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5. Join #gaysex, and, er, ahh why beat a dead horse.
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6. Change your nick to something like 'MuscleBabe' or 'Butch'
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and get on #lesbians. Try to get some. :)
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7. Get on #hack and try THESE!
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a. say "AnyBOdy GoT any AcCountS on CrimeLab.COM?"
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b. say "Are ThEre Any REal HAcKERZ on HERe or Just A
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BunCH of FaGGotz?"
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c. say "ThiZ is the SeeeKret SerViCE and I've GOt All
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OF You GUYZ INphO and You're ALl Under ARRezt!"
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d. ask if anybody haz any DelPhi accounts, and see how
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fast you DONT get a response. "Delphi? what's that?"
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e. B3g for 0pz. You truly have to be k-rad eleet to get
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ops on #hack. You know, be an IRC Operator or
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be a phed.
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8. Get on #Phreak, and um, ahhh why kick another dead horse?
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9. OKay, this is k-rad and it is profitable.
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Change your nick to NickServ, and make it look all realistic
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and shit. Mayk up a script so if any d00d messages you,
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it looks like youre /msging a b0t. (type /msg Nickserv HELP
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for help, and shit). So like, bug a bunch of users and shit
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Make sure tehy're lame and gullible ones. Say, in an
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0phicial tone, that your nick is not registered. Just tell
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them to leave their addre$$, and password(this is important!)
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THEN Y00 GET PHREE AKK0UNTZ!!!!
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This method has been used time and time again by everybody,
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and it still pulls in users. just make sure you don't
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do it with your l3g1t account and don't ask an irc
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0perator. They are dicks anyway.
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Stay t00ned for more cool rainy day IRC projecktz
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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***********************[ 2. General gnus and stuph ]***********************
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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--The most important NEWZ artikahl of them all. OUR GROUP!! YES!!!!
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Yes, it's recruitment week here, and we're trying to get the k-raddest
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people in our gr00p to join in on the phun.
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>>> FREE PBX TO EACH NEW MEMBER <<<
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(yeah right, like we can get ourselves a PBX)
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Anyways, in order to get in our group, you just have to talk to one of
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our members, not be lame, and not be in any other gr00p. Sorry,
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we want to be pyurr, and that means being monogamous.
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--Kurt Cobain died today. But he wasn't interesting, so who cares? I
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was driving to the bank when I heard it on da radi0.
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--Deathstar's VMB keeps getting funnier and funnier.
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--#warez is lame. but that's nothing new.
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--some guy posted a bunch of 'nigger jokes' on a lot of USENET groups.
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Of course that original post is gone, but the 10000000 replies, each
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about 4 pages long were kept intact. The BASIC(that sucky language?)
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message behind it was that you DON'T LEaVe YouR TERMINAL UNAtTENDED!
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Yeah really! False impersonation of a gr00p member can get you
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a 4 PBX phine.
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Well, that's all the news I can remember....
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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*****************[ 3. InPhaMouS GaIl ThAcKeRy ConFerEnce ]*****************
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Well if you were on that inphamous conference, you can $kip to the next
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section and all that shit. If not, you're clueless and need an explanation.
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On some conference, a k-rad dewd came on named Knuckle. That wuzn't his
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REAL alias, since his real alias would make him known. That was okay with
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us. SO one of us had the bright idea to d0 some DaMaGe to Gail Thackery
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to take a stand against all the pHrEAkERZ and HACKERZ she oppressed back
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then. If you don't know who Gail Thackery is, don't feel 2 bad(but don't
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feel ELEET either). Not even Knuckle knew who she was, which was suprising
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due to the gr00p he was once in(don't worry, it wasn't more k-rad eleet
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than OUR Gr00p). We made some call bephorhand to get the 602 SCC number
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since we needed that Numba to talk to the dewd to get -it- done. What he/we
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were trying to d0 was to get the telco Ph0n company to turn her lyne into
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a payf0ne. Why? That'd be s000 k-rad to have her pick up da phone, try to
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d1al a number, and have a msg say that you need a kwarter to make a [all.
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BuT THaTZ OKAyY#!@#!@#@!#! SH3 SAId SHE KN0WZ HO\/\/ 2 R3D b0X!!!!!
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Dis conference took place in around February(can't say the exact date, for
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SeKuriTy Reazonz), at about 1:30 am EST.
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<Ring> <Ring>
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<Somebody> "We are making history. here we go."
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<Bruce> "Telco center"
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<Knuckle> "hey there is this the SCC?"
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<Knuckle> "who am I speaking to?"
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<Bruce> "Bruce"
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<Knuckle> "Hey bruce, this is Chris Goggans(heh), I'm down at the, down at
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the RFC and a, well I'm wondering about here is what do we got
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on this number, 6784450? I got a, I got an order here that
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says its supposed to be a, a, a coin, a dtf what have you got
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on that? Is that a 1a office out there? 678?"
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<Bruce> "678 in Arizona?"
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<Knuckle> "Yeah"
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<Bruce> "1a code share"
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<Knuckle> "Thats where?"
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<Bruce> "Code share"
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<Knuckle> "Okay yeah alright so what ahve you got on 678-4450 can you do a
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verify on that?"
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<Bruce> "Out of what office? I don't even konw what office it works at"
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<Knuckle> "You just told me, code share."
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<Bruce> "Code share's not an office"
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<Knuckle> "Okay, I'm sorry, maybe I'm not making myself clear. We'll start
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over again. 602-678-4450"
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<Bruce> <garbled> "What office is it working at?"
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<Knuckle> "That's what I'm asking you."
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<Bruce> "I gotta find out, hang on."
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<Knuckle> "Okay"
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<Bruce> <talking to someone else>. <mentions code share> "Sunnyslope"
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<Knuckle> "Sunnyslope. Alright can you do a verify on 678-4450?"
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<Bruce> "Hang on. <types> <types some more> 678?"
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<Knuckle> "4450 right"
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<Bruce> "I don't think it's a coin, because it's regular ringing
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non-PBX loop start."
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<Knuckle> "What do we got out there? Is that a 1a office or a 5e?"
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<Bruce> "1a"
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<Knuckle> "That's a 1a? alright well can we uh, can we do a class of
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service change on that? or uh, uh uh make it a DFA?"
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<Bruce> "I can give it a shot."
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<Knuckle> "alright"
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<Bruce> "<more typing> you just wanna change the line class code?"
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<Knuckle> "yeah"
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<Bruce> <more typing> "678-4450. the LPC is what?"
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<Knuckle> "DFA"
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<Bruce> <types> "nope, won't take it"
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<Knuckle> "ok how about a DTF?"
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<Bruce> <types> "yeah"
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<Knuckle> "took a DTF?"
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<Bruce> "yeah"
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<Knuckle> "yeah alright. Good deal. You have a good night sir, Bruce"
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<Bruce> "okay"
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<Knuckle> "alright take care"
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<CLICK>
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<Knuckle> "alright Gail Thackery is now a payphone."
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<laughter from all nodes>
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N0W wAZN'T tHAT K-RaD??????????????????????????????????????????
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WHAT'Z k-RAD IS THAT S0ME DEWD t8PED ALL DAT SHIT!(HE WAZ NO PHED OR
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NUTTIN') AND N0\/\/ HE D1GITIZED THAT MUTTA PHUKKA AND ITZ PEE-DEE!
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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***************************[ 4. #WAREZ N STUPH ]***************************
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Somehow I managed to Steal this k-rad newz letter from the #warez channel.
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I thought I'd show you how lame it was, and have some fun in the process.
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I'll go thru it with u step-by-step.................
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Mystery Science Theater 3000 style...
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--------------------------------
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Warez News. Issue 4 Volume 2. 8th week of 1994.
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Warez News. The definitive guide for the #warez channel. Read it. Know
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it. You will be tested on it.
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[Joel] "This will be on the final!"
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[Crow] "You will need a number two pencil"
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It is released weekly, on no specific day,
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and will include the latest release dates, new rumours, new releases, and
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anything else I deem newsworthy.
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[Tom] "which includes baseball scores!"
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For you people out there in BBS land
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that read this (and I know there are a few) ignore the crap about the
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channel, you're not in it, so you don't know. And YES I am a real bitch :)
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[Joel] "little do they know how much the channel sux"
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[Crow] "Ohhh does the great #warez channel have it's own newsletter?"
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[Tom] "yeah, it just sucks. huh huh"
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Again, please send this to EVERYONE you know. And please don't
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friggin ask me all the time more questions about what I write in here.
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Everything I know, you will know *IF* you read this. I won't tolerate any
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bullshit. Anyway, here we go, and enjoy.
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[Joel] "I have a feeling this is going to be painful."
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{{{{There was a line of dashes here that the editors of KGB took out}}}}
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GAMES
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We keep on hearing about stuff like Ultima 8 and MechWarrior 2, ad
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infinitum.
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[Tom] "Well shut up then!"
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What we aren't hearing enough about is Stonekeep. Stonekeep
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is Interplay's new brainchild. You know Interplay, they made Bard's Tale,
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Dragon Wars, Wasteland, Battlechess, Lost Vikings, Star Trek.
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[Crow] "Next, on Emergency 9-1-1, I star in a computer game."
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You know them, they make basically the only games worth playing. Well
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Stonekeep should essentially redefine RPGs for the coming years. It will
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supposedly be a FULL SVGA RPG. Something this world has never seen the
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likes of. Fully photorealistic dungeons and monsters, and puzzles that will
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hopefully be reminiscent of Bard's Tale days. A recent rumour going
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around is that this game will ship on UPWARDS of 30 1.44M floppy disks.
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[Tom] "THIRTY DISKS?? Do they ship it to you on a dolly?"
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[Joel] "that'd be bigger than the Led Zeppelin box set!"
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Interplay feels that the CDROM market is weak (it is) and won't use this
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medium until it gets more support. Intel was demoing their Pentiums using
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this game at the recent trade shows, cause it REALLY shows off what those
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machines can do. It *won't* require a Pentium though. I'm HOPING I can
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get it to work on my 386/33 :)
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Doom 1.2. I'm sick of hearing the bitching about this puppy lately, but
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[Joel] "I'm kinda getting sick of hearing the bitching from this WAREZ
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puppy"
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here we go again. It was meant to be released last Friday, and it wasn't.
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[Crow] "He had little league that day."
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Well guess what, it was delayed because of problems with coding for the
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GUS. Something popped up that disabled the digital sound, and they have
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to fix that bug. Hopefully it will be out by this coming Friday, the
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18th. Doom 1.2 is already out for NeXT, and can be picked up from some
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FTP site. A Linux port is also in the works for Doom, due out in a few
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weeks.
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Black Magic came out. It doesn't work. Whoopie! And who cares.:)
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[Tom] "We don't! we don't!"
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Tie Fighter Demo. This game is due out in like May or something, and
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here's a little review of it by Kruey:
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[Joel] "Kruey? Sounds like an British alternative band"
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[Tom] "Yeah they're playing at Lalapalooza"
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Well it finally arrived (the demo that is). Usually I shun demos, but
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this one I actual sought after. It seems Lucas finally accepted that
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they did screw up some on XWING. The ships were next to invulnerable,
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and doing the same mission two hundred times cuz you let a Tie-Bomber
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fire off a lone missile, blew. But worse of all was the stupid wingmen
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blowing your ass off when firing at what was in front of you. Well the
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wingmen are just as stupid in Tie Fighter, but your ship certainly isn't
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invulnerable! In keeping realism, Lucas opted to give the Tie-Fighters
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no shields. 3 shots and you're toast.
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[Crow] "No R2, you'll just go out there again and break down."
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According to the nfo file that was floating around, the release will
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have a full arsenal of different ships (I can't wait to fly a Gunship
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myself). The game has exactly the same controls as Xwing, so the docs
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are unnecessary. Beware of collisions! You even tap against another
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ship you lose a solar panel...
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[Tom] "That's why you're better off with aluminum siding."
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They improved the graphics a little bit. In highest mode there's a tad
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more color. The detail really slows things down on my 386/25 so can't
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be much more specific.
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If you want to play the game in ultra carnage mode, just let a few stray
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bullets hit one of your corvettes. :)
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[Joel] "uh oh, better get MACO!"
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Well, all I can really say is: I am gonna buy this one.
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[Tom] "A warez puppy actually BUYING a ware?"
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[JOel] "Well how do you think they get the warez to courier it out?"
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[Crow] "They get their big brother at Software Etc to get it for 'em?"
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Not because I
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need the docs or anything like that. I just think the game's worth
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buying.
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Welp that's what Kruey says. My personal opinion? I tried it. Looked
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exactly like XWing to me. Why are they bothering releasing a new 9 disk
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game when they could just add a 1 disk addon like with BWing and be done
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with it? Moneygrubbers. (By the way, I don't KNOW that it will be nine
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disks, I'm fabricating a number for my own evil purposes).
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[Tom] "bill gates! WE VILL GET YOU NEXT TIME!"
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APPLICATIONS/UTILITIES
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Stacker 4.0 came out, and now it will crash your hard drives on alternate
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wednesdays instead of fridays.
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[Tom] "but seriously folks, <badum ching>"
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[Crow] "Stack THIS!"
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It supposedly has much better compression ratios compared to the old
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Stacker 3.1x series, and does some other funky shit that I really couldn't
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care less about.
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Well well well, he says exactly what I said. GUESS WHAT? WIN TERM
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PROGRAMS SUCK BUTT NUTS!:) (And heck, Kruey doesn't write as well as me!:))
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GUS OS/2 MMPM Drivers are here! I haven't tried them yet, and they are
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alphas, so I may wait a bit. People who tried them said they suffer from
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ultraclick, and also lock up at points. I may wait, I might try em, who
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knows. More to be reported in the next issue.
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[Joel] "Kids run for the rich taste of GUS OS/2 MPMM drivers!"
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[Tom] "Better living thru OS/2"
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Windows 3.11 is here. Not Windows 3.11 for Workgroups that was released
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originally, but a small upgrade for people using Windows 3.1 that adds the
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faster File Manager and 32-bit disk access found previously only in WFW
|
|
3.11. Not really a big deal, and if you've already upgraded, useless. The
|
|
only real difference is the lack of networking support. And of course the
|
|
fact that if you can get the 32-bit disk access to work for you (it won't
|
|
work on my machine, and lots of others, for some weird reason), it's like
|
|
150% faster Windows. Which is nice.
|
|
|
|
[Crow] "150% faster? so that'd make your computer like an XT instead of a
|
|
PC right?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
NEWS FROM THE CHANNEL
|
|
|
|
[Tom] "This will be a good one."
|
|
|
|
Welp the channel blows ass.
|
|
|
|
[Crow] "tell us something we don't know"
|
|
|
|
Some more lamers have infiltrated, and all
|
|
the "cool" lamers will stick up for em. Great.
|
|
|
|
[Joel] "Lamer Wars: Now it's personal!"
|
|
|
|
THELIST. This idea died a very hard death after Elminster, master of all
|
|
that is evil and bad for the channel, got a hold of it, and decided to
|
|
shoot it down. With all his cronies that listen to every word he says
|
|
backing him up, the plan just sorta hit the floor. Basically it was an
|
|
idea to make all new users to #warez fill out a little application to see
|
|
if they were worth anything to the channel.
|
|
|
|
[Crow] "enter your mothers' maiden name, and list three members of the
|
|
Beatles"
|
|
|
|
I didn't think it was such a
|
|
bad idea, and I don't think most other people minded that part. What they
|
|
DID mind was, "THELIST." Essentially, this was a list of about 80 people
|
|
who would be able to VOTE on the new users.
|
|
|
|
[Tom] "Oh! Shindler's THELIST!"
|
|
|
|
It wasn't, as some people
|
|
construed it to be, the only eighty people allowed in the channel,
|
|
|
|
[Joel] "and they all have ops too!"
|
|
|
|
it was just people who would put votes in on new users. This list, it
|
|
seems, people didn't want getting around cause they thought they could get
|
|
in trouble. My opinion? Suck it up weenies. In America, and most other
|
|
countries, simple nicks don't stand up in a court case.
|
|
|
|
[Tom] "Not even Nikki Sixx?"
|
|
[Joel] "The state versus KILROY"
|
|
|
|
I can see it now, the judge asking for "Byte" to approach the stand, and me
|
|
being put to death cause my name was in some dumb UNLABELED list. People
|
|
don't even realize that 6 months ago, AWA posted about 250 nicks and
|
|
addresses of people on #warez to the USENET. Guess what? NOTHING
|
|
happened, cause no one cares.
|
|
|
|
[Tom] "Oh you'd like that wouldn't you?"
|
|
[Crow] "They just don't look anymore."
|
|
|
|
Warez News missed a few weeks due to the general warez drought.
|
|
|
|
[Joel] "yeah I head the Joads had to move to Sweden for a warez pickin'
|
|
job"
|
|
|
|
I'll release more when there just is stuff to write about, it took three
|
|
weeks to get this issue together, since jack shit has come out. Sue me.
|
|
|
|
|
|
That's it for another exciting issue of #warez-news. Upload this to all
|
|
your favorite boards and stuff, start getting the InterNet crowd some new,
|
|
REAL faces from the real world. We need more real users, and less of
|
|
these fuckin local lamers
|
|
|
|
[Crow] "I thought the users WERE the lamers!"
|
|
[Tom] "local to WHERE?"
|
|
|
|
Who haven't called a board in their life. If this offends you, GOOD,
|
|
that's my goal.
|
|
|
|
[Tom] "Well we tried to offend YOU, and that's our goal!"
|
|
[Joel] "we gotta go"
|
|
|
|
|
|
{'K00L HUH???'}
|
|
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
*************************[ 5. Weird Psycho Shit! ]*************************
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
Date: Fri Apr 08 10:31:51 CDT 1994
|
|
Lines: 25
|
|
Bob Bowers (usolcat@mcl.ucsb.edu) wrote:
|
|
: I'd like to obtain any Tracy Lords scenes or movies, such as her scene in
|
|
: New Wave Hookers...
|
|
|
|
{Whoops! wrong article!}
|
|
|
|
THE SYSOP'S INFORMER
|
|
SOURCE: --BAY AREA BUREAU--
|
|
|
|
ON FEB 3, 1994, AGENTS OF THE U.S. POST OFFICE, ACCOMPANIED BY SAN
|
|
JOSE POLICE OFFICERS, RAIDED THE HOME OF MILPITAS, CA, COUPLE ROBERT ALAN
|
|
THOMAS AND HIS WIFE, CARLEEN. THE COUPLE OPERATED THE AMATEUR ACTION BBS.
|
|
THEY WERE ARRESTED AFTER AGENTS TOOK INTO CUSTODY "THOUSANDS OF VIDEOS, 57
|
|
VIDEO DUBBING MACHINES AND ASSORTED COMPUTERS, PARTS, EQUIPMENT, SOFTWARE
|
|
AND DISKETTES."
|
|
THE AMATEUR ACTION BBS, WAS AN ADULT ORIENTED BBS WHICH MADE
|
|
AVAILABLE TO MEMBERS, .GIFs OF AN ADULT NATURE.
|
|
^
|
|
^
|
|
{Why Are So-callEd "AdUlt" Bee bEe esses JuSt BoarDz with}
|
|
{PhilEz Of WoMen With Big B00bz on ThEm?}
|
|
|
|
THIS TYPE OF COMPUTER RAIDING HAS GONE FROM ELITE FILES (COMMERCIAL
|
|
SOFTWARE, ILLEGALLY COPIED AND MADE AVAILABLE) TO ADULT GIFs.^
|
|
^
|
|
^
|
|
^
|
|
{EL|T3 F1LeZ???????????? THat Is What}
|
|
{IZ considered Elite By the Phedz???}
|
|
|
|
|
|
THE FEDS DO NOT CARE IF IT IS YOU IN THE PICTURE OR YOUR
|
|
GIRLFRIEND, ETC....... ^
|
|
^
|
|
{Yeah you probably seen me in that GIF of me banging the shit}
|
|
{out of Cindy Crawford. Yup, that's me.}
|
|
|
|
IF HE/SHE IS HAVING SEX, OR TOUCHING THEMSELVES IN A SEXUAL WAY, AND THIS
|
|
MATERIAL IS AVAILABLE AS A GIFs FOR ADULTS (CONFIRMED ADULTS), THEN YOU
|
|
WILL BE ARRESTED IF CAUGHT. ^
|
|
^
|
|
{Yeah BUt Wh000000000?}
|
|
{3@T My D1[K Y00 Phedz.}
|
|
{CNRT has some philez like that.}
|
|
|
|
|
|
IN RELATED NEWS, THE ELECTRONIC FRONTIER FOUNDATION HAS RELEASED THE
|
|
FOLLOWING STATEMENT AS A WARNING TO SYSOPS OFFERING ADULT MATERIALS:
|
|
|
|
"SENATOR JESSE HELMS (R-NC) HAS REQUESTED THAT THE FBI BECOME MORE
|
|
INVOLVED IN THE FIGHT TO STOP ADULT IMAGES FROM BEING DISTRIBUTED ON
|
|
ELECTRONIC BULLETIN BOARDS AND THE INTERNET.
|
|
^
|
|
^
|
|
{$0 B33 ShUrE t0 Get TH0ze N00die GIfZ of GaiL ThaCKery and}
|
|
{R0seAnne Barr D01ng it, but B33 Sure T0 leev Th0se 911}
|
|
{D0ku00mentz on There ph0r uz.}
|
|
|
|
SENATOR HELMS STATED ON THE SENATE FLOOR THAT ADDITIONAL FUNDING HAS
|
|
NOW BEEN ALLOCATED TO GIVE THE FBI AND OTHER LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENCIES A
|
|
GREATER ABILITY TO COMPUTER BULLETIN BOARDS AND THE INTERNET, TWO OF THE
|
|
LARGEST SOURCES OF ILLEGAL PORNOGRAPHY."
|
|
^
|
|
^
|
|
^
|
|
{Y3Ah FuCk The H0melesS. S0me 12 Year Old Can't Get hiz}
|
|
{handz On those B1g B00biE PicKturz! The PHATE of the phree}
|
|
{C0untry Iz Ryd1ng 0n It!!}
|
|
|
|
|
|
{/\/\|$c Shit D33-l3333ted}
|
|
|
|
"THE EFF HAS ISSUED A WARNING TO SYSOPS THAT THE FOLLOWING FILES, WHICH
|
|
DEPICT ANY OF THE FOLLOWING ACTS, ARE ILLEGAL IN ALL 50 STATES AND CAN
|
|
SUBJECT THE SYSOP TO PROSECUTION, REGARDLESS OF WHETHER THE SYSOP KNOWS
|
|
ABOUT THE FILES OR NOT:
|
|
|
|
"-- DEPICTION OF ACTUAL SEX ACTS IN PROGRESS
|
|
"-- DEPICTION OF AN ERECT PENIS" {<---- WHat Ab0ut An Erekt N1ppl3?}
|
|
|
|
THE EFF ADDED THAT THE LAW DOES NOT APPLY TO SEXUALLY-ORIENTED MESSAGES
|
|
OR STORIES, JUST TO GIFs, FLIs, AND GL's (PICTURES).
|
|
|
|
|
|
{Well, there you go. But who gives a shit? Porn gifs aren't as}
|
|
{big of an industry as text philes or K-RAD WAREZZZZ.}
|
|
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
****************************[ 6. K-RaD S0NGZ! ]****************************
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
Here is a K-SPiFF Metallica song that I have never heard before in my life
|
|
but have the lyrics for it anyway...Its called 'So What'...
|
|
|
|
** So What **
|
|
-- Metallica --
|
|
|
|
|
|
So fucking what!
|
|
|
|
Well I've been to Hastings,
|
|
and I've been to Brighton.
|
|
I've been to Eastport too.
|
|
So what.
|
|
So what.
|
|
And I've been here,
|
|
I've been there.
|
|
I've been everying fucking where.
|
|
So what.
|
|
So what.
|
|
So what, so what, you boring little cunt.
|
|
|
|
Who cares.
|
|
Who cares what you do.
|
|
Yeah who cares,
|
|
Who cares about you, you, you, you, you.
|
|
|
|
Well I've fucked a queen.
|
|
I've fucked fucked.
|
|
I've even sucked an old man's cock.
|
|
So what.
|
|
So what.
|
|
And I've fucked a sheep.
|
|
I've fucked a goat.
|
|
I rammed my cock right down his throat.
|
|
So what.
|
|
So what.
|
|
So what, so what, you boring little fuck.
|
|
|
|
Who cares.
|
|
Who cares what you do.
|
|
And who cares,
|
|
Who cares about you, you, you, you, you.
|
|
|
|
And I've drunk that,
|
|
I've drunk this.
|
|
I've spewed up on a pint of piss.
|
|
So what.
|
|
So what.
|
|
I've had scank,
|
|
I've have speed.
|
|
I've jacked up until I bleed.
|
|
So what.
|
|
So what.
|
|
So what, so what, you boring little cunt.
|
|
|
|
Who cares.
|
|
Who cares what you do.
|
|
Yeah who cares,
|
|
Who cares about you, you, you, you, you.
|
|
|
|
I've had crabs,
|
|
I've had lice,
|
|
I've had been declaped(?) and that ain't nice.
|
|
So what.
|
|
So what.
|
|
I've fucked this,
|
|
I've fucked that.
|
|
I've even fucked a school girl's twat.
|
|
So what.
|
|
So what.
|
|
So what, so what you boring little fuck.
|
|
|
|
Who cares.
|
|
Who cares what you do.
|
|
And who cares,
|
|
Who cares about you, you, you, you, you, you.
|
|
|
|
So fucking what!
|
|
Yeah!
|
|
---------------
|
|
|
|
Anyway, that was very intellectually stimulating, wasn't it? Next issue,
|
|
we will have a parody of a song called "Turn Around" by They Might Be
|
|
Giants (What do you mean we are copying BoW? FUCK YOU!)...
|
|
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
***********************[ 7. Notes from Andy Rooney ]***********************
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
-- Did you ever notice that all the assholes in the community
|
|
NEVER get busted, but all the cool people end up in trouble?
|
|
|
|
-- Why is it that there's always some dumb fuck on #hack {lame
|
|
-ass channel} who asks who's on #warez, or an invite
|
|
to #warez?
|
|
|
|
-- Why is Phreqbot so fucking persistent to get on #phreak?
|
|
|
|
-- Have you ever noticed that everything sucks?
|
|
|
|
-- Why is it that there are always some lamers out there who will
|
|
believe ANYTHING some k-rad group says? {well they're not so
|
|
lame if it's from THIS group, Andy. Elvis DOES live, dammit}
|
|
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
- Well, this is the end of the phucking newzletter. You like it? No? well,
|
|
phuck off then. This is our preeeemere issue and i had to write all
|
|
this shit myself, but it's GOOD god dammit!
|
|
|
|
Kentucky Phreaked Chicken
|
|
|
|
- Kentucky d00d, I think it is great! I had to fix some spelling errors
|
|
(but probably missed some) and arrange it a little differently but
|
|
otherwise, you did a great job!
|
|
|
|
PaX iMPeRiaLiS
|
|
|
|
___________ ___ ___ _________
|
|
/ ________/ / \ / / / _____ | {Looks like this is }
|
|
/ / / | / / / / / / {the end! But tune }
|
|
/ /____ / / | / / / / / / {in next week for }
|
|
/ _____/ / /| |/ / / / / / {another KGB episode!}
|
|
/ / / / | / / / / / / {- The Under Dog Show}
|
|
/ /_______ / / | / / /____/ /
|
|
/__________/ /___/ |___/ /__________|
|
|
|