120 lines
7.0 KiB
Plaintext
120 lines
7.0 KiB
Plaintext
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ighbahpooighbahpooighbahpoo °±² °±² Wot the fuk ? ghbahpooighbahpooighbahpooi
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ghbahpooighbahpooighbahpooi hbahpooighbahpooighbahpooig
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hbahpooighbahpooighbahpooig °±² °±²ÛÛÛ²±° °²²ÛÛÛ²±° bahpooighbahpooighbahpooigh
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bahpooighbahpooighbahpooigh ±²Û ±²Û Û²± ±²Û Û²± ahpooighbahpooighbahpooighb
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ahpooighbahpooighbahpooighb ²ÛÛ ²ÛÛ ÛÛ² ²ÛÛ ÛÛ² hpooighbahpooighbahpooighba
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hpooighbahpooighbahpooighba ÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ pooighbahpooighbahpooighbah
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pooighbahpooighbahpooighbah ßÛ Ûß ßÛ ÛÛÛ[CX93] ooighbahpooighbahpooighbahp
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ooighbahpooighbahpooighbahp Þ Ý Þ ÛÛÛ oighbahpooighbahpooighbahpo
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pooighbahpooighbahpooighbah Ûß ooighbahpooighbahpooighbahi
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----------------------------------------- Ý------------------------------------
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ViTSoNiC November 1993 File 12
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The
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The
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Pure
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Effects
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of
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Alcohol
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Well, before I begin I must make it known that I am not the
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foremost authority on the topic of alcohol and it's effects but I can say
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that I have observed many drink it and hurl it.
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A lot of people think they know why they drink, some say hey, I just
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wanna get pissed, bout 75%, others say I dunno, I just do, 11%, hmmmmm, I
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really can't see that well, 5%, and the remainder 9% are undecided about
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peer group pressure, or just wanna smash windows opening a Coldie.
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So the first thing one needs to do is decide how much of an effect
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one wants to achieve. If you want to get wrecked and absolutely shit
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faced then drink till you can't drink anymore. Usually the most common
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feat, but also has bad side effects. The first side effect occurs before
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you even start drinking. You need to have access to the alcohol. This can
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be to some a real problem, for numerous reasons. The most common being
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that they lack the money to get the required beverages. This problem is
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further compounded by parental preferences. Most parents either drink
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really bad Port, Sherry or something else not social acceptable. Age also
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plays an important part in getting alcohol. If ya too young to purchase,
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then find a really good friend.
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There is one really good solution to these problems. Go to a party
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were lot's of others have lot's of alcohol and just confidently pour your
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own or borrow from the never ending bin in the corner. This can be
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achieved quite easily because by the time you actually gain the
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confidence and overcome the fear of 'borrowing' everyone else is well on
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their way to being shitfaced and therefore won't realize that your
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borrowing their own beverages.
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Once you start to drink, you will feel the following the effects.
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First time drinkers, depending on what they drink will not enjoy, say
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their first Beer. Fear not, this is generally a universal reaction. The
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aftertaste of the Beer will immediately cause you to smile in disbelief
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conveying a message of 'yes, I really do enjoy this, this, beverage.'
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Others decide to hit the spirits. Spirits include whiskeys through
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to OverProof rums. You must be warned however, that some of these
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beverages can make you
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a) Throw up immediately
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b) Spit out the offending mouthful
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c) Swear very loudly
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d) Promise never to drink again
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e) impress every one there
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f) as a consequence of e), make many new friends
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g) All of the Above
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If your afraid of any of the above, then I suggest stinking to red
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cordial laced with highly contaminated water full of Chlorine.
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Spirits, if they are too strong for your tastebuds, can be
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effectively mixed with a mixer, preferably Coca-Cola. If you're a Pepsi
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freak, then this is the one exception you have to make. Pepsi does not
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make for a suitable mixer, only Coca-Cola can achieve this highly
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important function. Any spirit not flavoured as a fruit can be mixed
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with Coca-Cola. If you are new, do not under any circumstances mix
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Midori (or similar) with Coca-Cola, as party goers will immediately
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lose respect for you and suddenly realize that you are borrowing their
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beverages.
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Once passed your tenth mouthful, fifth beer, 50th mixed drink or
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3rd trip to the Golden Bowl, you will start to feel slightly dizzy. Once
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you feel this, you know it's time to stop mixing drinks and sculling
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bottles of anything alcoholic. It is effectually called the point of no
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return. Drink, Drink, Drink. Next feelings then to be slightly blurred
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to the memory, but is easy to recall when observing others.
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Firstly, you start saying things that are really true, like, I
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really love you and wanna fuck your brains out, or 'Fuck your an ugly
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mother fucker' to the toughest guy/gal in the room . . . . b| . . .
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resulting in a black eye and a missing tooth. Experienced drinkers learn
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to be more tactful in what they say, generally handled by taking your
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girlfriend/boyfriend or sticking in a really tough group.
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Other effects include sudden loss of balance, delayed reactions,
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blurred vision, slurred speech. The more obscure reactions are many and
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varied. Sudden craving to inflict personal pain, falling to the ground,
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from balconys, and then laughing, singing psalms and hymns, really
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well, and remembering really bad things that make you feel really
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guilty.
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These reactions are pretty standard and should not be feared. If
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you are still concerned and feel that these reactions tend to lead to
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violence and personal pain, then I can reassure you by saying that
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statistically speaking, the number of injuries caused by alcohol at a
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party number the amount of Meg you have in your machine each year.
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Therefore the chances of you being injured or hurt are about the same as
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being beaten up by a fluffy duck.
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The next reaction tends never to be remembered very well, but
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generally includes hurling everywhere and an inability to control
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important facets of the body as rectum muscles or urinary tract.
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That pretty much concisely covers the general effects of alcohol.
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-##- --------------------------------------------------------------------- -##-
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#### Submit Stuff To Zen Amako Coming Soon Burning Chrome! Call .. ####
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#\/# P.O.Box 50 iNTOXiCATiON! .. Hi's to all DiE and #\/#
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#/\# Bulleen, 3105 ADFA people who love to hate each #/\#
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#### Vic. Aust. other :) ####
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-##- --------------------------------------------------------------------- -##-
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