101 lines
4.8 KiB
Plaintext
101 lines
4.8 KiB
Plaintext
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ighbahpooighbahpooighbahpoo °±² °±² Wot the fuk ? ghbahpooighbahpooighbahpooi
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ghbahpooighbahpooighbahpooi hbahpooighbahpooighbahpooig
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hbahpooighbahpooighbahpooig °±² °±²ÛÛÛ²±° °²²ÛÛÛ²±° bahpooighbahpooighbahpooigh
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bahpooighbahpooighbahpooigh ±²Û ±²Û Û²± ±²Û Û²± ahpooighbahpooighbahpooighb
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ahpooighbahpooighbahpooighb ²ÛÛ ²ÛÛ ÛÛ² ²ÛÛ ÛÛ² hpooighbahpooighbahpooighba
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hpooighbahpooighbahpooighba ÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ pooighbahpooighbahpooighbah
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pooighbahpooighbahpooighbah ßÛ Ûß ßÛ ÛÛÛ[CX93] ooighbahpooighbahpooighbahp
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ooighbahpooighbahpooighbahp Þ Ý Þ ÛÛÛ oighbahpooighbahpooighbahpo
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pooighbahpooighbahpooighbah Ûß ooighbahpooighbahpooighbahi
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----------------------------------------- Ý------------------------------------
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Courtesy Of cs.uwp.edu File 10
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DENIS LEARY - ASSHOLE
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(Spoken)
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Folks, I'd like to sing a song about the American dream.
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About me, about you, about the way our American hearts beat way down
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in the bottom of our chests. About the special feeling we get in the
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cockles of our hearts, maybe below the cockles, maybe in the subcockle
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area. Maybe in the liver. Maybe in the kidneys. Maybe even in the
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colon, we don't know.
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(Sung)
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I'm just a regular Joe with a regular job.
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I'm your average white suburbanite slob.
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I like football and porno and books about war.
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I've got an average house with a nice hardwood floor.
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My wife and my job, my kids and my car.
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My feet on my table and a cuban cigar.
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But sometimes that just ain't enough to keep a man like me interested
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(oh no) no way (uh-uh)
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No, I've gotta go out and have fun at someone else's expense
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(oh yeah) Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
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I drive really slow in the ultra-fast lane,
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While people behind me are going insane.
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I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)
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I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, such an asshole)
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I use public toilets and I piss on the seat,
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I walk around in the summertime saying "How about this heat?"
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I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)
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I'm an asshole (He's the world's biggest asshole)
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Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces,
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While handicapped people make handicapped faces.
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I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)
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I'm an asshole (He's a real fucking asshole)
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Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song
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Ranting and raving and carrying on
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Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong
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NAAAAH!
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I'm an asshole (he's an asshole, what an asshole)
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I'm an asshole (he's the world's biggest asshole)
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(Spoken)
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Know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac El Dorado,
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hot-fuckin'-pink, with whaleskin hubcaps and all-leather cow interior and big
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brown baby seal eyes for headlights... yeah! And I'm gonna drive around in that
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baby doing 115 miles an hour, getting 1 mile per gallon, suckin' down quarter
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pound cheeseburgers from McDonald's in the old-fashioned non- biodegradable
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styrofoam containers... yeah! And when I'm done suckin' down those greaseball
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burgers I'm gonna toss the styrofoam containers right out the side, and there
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ain't a goddamn thing anybody can do about it. You know why? Because we got
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the bombs, that's why... yeah! Two words--nuclear fuckin' weapons, OK? Russia,
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Czechoslovakia, Romania, they can have all the democracy they want...they can
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have a democracy cakewalk right through the middle of Tienamen Square and it
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won't make a lick of fuckin' difference, because we got the bombs, OK? John
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Wayne's not dead--he's frozen! And when we find a cure for cancer, we're gonna
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thaw out the Duke and he's gonna be pretty pissed off. You know why? You ever
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taken a cold shower? Well, multiply that by 15 million times--that's how pissed
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off the Duke's gonna be. I'm gonna get the Duke and John Casavetti and Sam
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Peckinpaw and a case of fuckin' whisky and drive...
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(Hey, hey, hey, hey, you know you really are an asshole?)
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Why don't you shut up and sing the song, Chris. I thought I was the
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asshole... all the time it was him... what an asshole!
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(Sung)
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I'm an asshole (I'm an asshole, he's an asshole)
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I'm an asshole (He's the world's biggest asshole)
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A S-S H-O L-E
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Everybody, A S-S H-O L-E
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Ay Ay-Ay Ay-Ay Ay-Ay
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A-thoom A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoom
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Oooooooo
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(Spoken)
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I'm an asshole and I'm proud of it!
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(Chris mouths: Asshole)
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FACT: Whale Penis's ARE made into golf bags, and that's a fact!
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