239 lines
7.4 KiB
Plaintext
239 lines
7.4 KiB
Plaintext
s$
|
|
$$ .d""b. .d""b. HOE E'ZINE #1082
|
|
[-- $$""b. $$ $$ $$ $$ -- ------------------------------------------- --]
|
|
$$ $$ $$ $$ $$ss$$ "Mavis Beacon Teaches Cyberse"
|
|
$$ $$ $$ $$ $$ by tamd
|
|
$$ $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ 5/21/00
|
|
[-- $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ -- ------------------------------------------- --]
|
|
$$ $$ "TssT" "TssT"
|
|
|
|
For the longest time I could never understand what caused people to
|
|
become sexually aroused by cybersex. I had always imagined cybersex to be
|
|
tedious and pointless. Wouldn't it be hard to hold my penis in one hand
|
|
and type out sexual conversations in chat with the other? That is until
|
|
someone recommended a program called 'Mavis Beacon Teaches Cybersex'.
|
|
|
|
Hmm, well, Mavis Beacon is well known for her software that teaches
|
|
people how to type properly, so I figured cybersex software by her could
|
|
only enhance my experience. I went to my local software dealer and asked
|
|
around, but they didn't carry it. So, I tried my luck at the flea market
|
|
to score a bootleg version.
|
|
|
|
I took a trip to the flea market and began my search. The bootleg
|
|
software dealers told me it was a hard find and recommended a booth a few
|
|
aisles down that had a lot of older software. I made my way across the
|
|
market to the booth they spoke of. Ahh, there it was! Apparently it was
|
|
a boxed set. It came with a one-handed keyboard that is usually sold to
|
|
flipper kids and vets who only have one functional arm. It was a deal,
|
|
too, only 4 dollars! The previous owner must've gotten a lot of use out of
|
|
it, because the keys seemed to stick a little. I purchased it nonetheless,
|
|
since finding another copy may be quite difficult.
|
|
|
|
When I got home, I popped the disks in and did a quick virus scan.
|
|
I didn't want to catch some cyber-VD. It came out clean, the previous
|
|
owner must've had one of those keyboard covers or something. I proceed to
|
|
boot up the program.
|
|
|
|
The Mavis Beacon logo pops up and I hear the welcome sound:
|
|
|
|
*DING -- Welcome to Mavis Beacon Teaches Cybersex!*
|
|
|
|
My learning was about to begin! Until this point, I had never
|
|
realized Mavis had such a hot body until I had seen her in that skimpy
|
|
school teacher outfit.
|
|
|
|
The menu popped up and gave me the following options:
|
|
|
|
---------------------
|
|
Begin Tutor
|
|
|
|
Options
|
|
|
|
About
|
|
|
|
Quit
|
|
---------------------
|
|
|
|
I selected "begin", and pressed enter. The tutor began:
|
|
|
|
---------------------
|
|
|
|
Please type in your response as fast as possible to the following
|
|
statements:
|
|
|
|
<HotGuy42> Hey, I'm a hot sexy guy.. want to cyber?
|
|
:
|
|
|
|
---------------------
|
|
|
|
I thought to myself, "Hmm, I wonder if this is a trick... what
|
|
should I write?". Then a second response came in.
|
|
|
|
---------------------
|
|
|
|
<HotGuy42> Are you there?
|
|
:
|
|
|
|
---------------------
|
|
|
|
I had to respond, I didn't want to fail on my first try.
|
|
|
|
---------------------
|
|
|
|
<HotGuy42> Are you there?
|
|
: I am male. And am not gay, try someone else.
|
|
|
|
---------------------
|
|
|
|
At that point the program kicked me out and told me to adjust the
|
|
options. So I did so. Apparently the previous owner was a homosexual
|
|
and had the Kink-o-meter set to maximum anal penetration, with the
|
|
foreign objects and no lube flags turned on. I definitely needed to
|
|
adjust those. So, I turned off gay mode, lowered the kink-o-meter, and
|
|
fixed the options, so I could have a gentle first experience. At that
|
|
point, I returned to the tutor.
|
|
|
|
---------------------
|
|
|
|
<Jen64032> Hi! Want to cyber?
|
|
:
|
|
|
|
---------------------
|
|
|
|
That seemed much better. The tutor was running smooth and gay-free.
|
|
So I typed my response.
|
|
|
|
---------------------
|
|
|
|
<Jen64032> Hi! Want to cyber?
|
|
: Sure!
|
|
|
|
---------------------
|
|
|
|
At that point Mavis popped up with a message; damn she looks good.
|
|
|
|
---------------------
|
|
|
|
Mavis:
|
|
**** WARNING! ****
|
|
|
|
When attempting to cybersex a female, make sure you find out her
|
|
age. You are not supposed to cybersex young children. Doing so
|
|
may land you in jail.
|
|
|
|
---------------------
|
|
|
|
I then proceeded to rephrase the response, I even molded it to fit
|
|
the format I had seen on IRC many times before.
|
|
|
|
---------------------
|
|
|
|
<Jen64032> Hi! Want to cyber?
|
|
: a/s/l/h/w/dob/vd?
|
|
|
|
---------------------
|
|
|
|
WHOO-HOO! I just received 100 extra points.
|
|
|
|
---------------------
|
|
|
|
<Jen64032> 19/f/Phoenix/5'4"/115lbs/04-23-81/no
|
|
: You sound sexy.
|
|
|
|
---------------------
|
|
|
|
+15pts!!
|
|
|
|
---------------------
|
|
|
|
<Jen64032> What about you?
|
|
: 20/m/phoenix also!
|
|
|
|
---------------------
|
|
|
|
I figured that if I lie a little, I can get farther. It works
|
|
in real life.
|
|
|
|
+50pts!
|
|
|
|
---------------------
|
|
|
|
<Jen64032> WOW! THAT'S COOL!
|
|
: yes, i know.. [ no points. ]
|
|
<Jen64032> *gets closer*
|
|
: *puts arm around Jen64032* [2 pts! (what a rip-off)]
|
|
<Jen64032> ohh I like that.
|
|
: *I unzip my pants and pull out my penis*
|
|
|
|
---------------------
|
|
|
|
Mavis:
|
|
|
|
Be careful when you decide to make your move sexually, you do
|
|
not want to make your cyber-partner feel threatened.
|
|
|
|
---------------------
|
|
|
|
Why did I have to be cybersexing this Jen girl, I wanted to cybersex
|
|
that slutty Mavis woman, he constant interruptions and that outfit she
|
|
wears is so demanding.
|
|
|
|
---------------------
|
|
|
|
<Jen64032> MMMMMM... I like a guy who knows what I want.
|
|
: *slowly unbuttons your shirt*
|
|
<Jen64032> Yes, take a look at these...
|
|
<Jen64032> *unfastens bra*
|
|
: You have very nice breasts..
|
|
: *holds your breasts in his hands and licks your nipples* [+73 pts!]
|
|
<Jen64032> I like that.
|
|
: *continues to suckle on nipples as I unbutton your pants* [+120pts!]
|
|
|
|
---------------------
|
|
|
|
Mavis:
|
|
|
|
Good Job! Multitasking during cybersex can help keep your partners
|
|
interest. Keep up the good work!
|
|
|
|
---------------------
|
|
|
|
Damn Mavis, what I wouldn't give to caress your voluptuous breasts
|
|
underneath your blouse. MMMmmmmmmm... I'll show you some multitasking
|
|
later Mavis, maybe there is a cheat code out there to unlock a 'Cybersex
|
|
the fuck out of Mavis Beacon Level'.
|
|
|
|
---------------------
|
|
|
|
<Jen64032> Oh yes.. take off my pants....
|
|
: *removes your pants*
|
|
<Jen64032> *pokes you in the eye with his large cock!*
|
|
<Jen64032> I am a guy you idiot! Bet you feel pretty stupid, don't you?
|
|
<Jen64032> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
|
|
<Jen64032> *begins to ram his cock into your ass*
|
|
<Jen64032> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!
|
|
|
|
---------------------
|
|
|
|
Mavis:
|
|
|
|
Your lesson is complete. Most women who cybersex aren't really men
|
|
at all, they are actually guys pretending to be women in order to get a
|
|
good laugh at your expense next time ask for a picture.
|
|
|
|
###### LESSON COMPLETE #######
|
|
*press any key to continue*
|
|
|
|
---------------------
|
|
|
|
That fucking bitch! At that point I took the software out into the
|
|
backyard proceeded to burn it. What a stupid fucking bitch! If I ever
|
|
find Jen64032 I will kill him! GRRRRR BASTARD!@!
|
|
|
|
I kept the one-handed keyboard. I figure it should come to good use
|
|
while I look at porn pages. I wonder if there is any Mavis Beacon porn
|
|
out there. I'll have to find it.
|
|
|
|
[-------------------------------------------------------------------------]
|
|
[ (c) HOE E'ZINE -- http://www.hoe.nu HOE #1082, BY TAMD - 5/21/00 ]
|