92 lines
5.8 KiB
Plaintext
92 lines
5.8 KiB
Plaintext
s$
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$$ .d""b. .d""b. HOE E'ZINE #1064
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[-- $$""b. $$ $$ $$ $$ -- ------------------------------------------- --]
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$$ $$ $$ $$ $$ss$$ "Camp Chronicles, Vol. 1"
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$$ $$ $$ $$ $$ by, LatinMan
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$$ $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ 04/18/00
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[-- $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ -- ------------------------------------------- --]
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$$ $$ "TssT" "TssT"
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It's a little known fact that I have worked for a summer camp for
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the last 6 years. My camp experience has shown me the joys and pains of
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having children. It has also been a place for many firsts in my life. I
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had my first kiss at camp, my first full frontal fondle, and of course I
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can't forget my first skinny co-ed strip twister experience. Within my
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Camp Chronicle files I shall recount some of my adventures, just for the
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fuck of it. This installment is entitled, "Camper Mishaps."
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Our first Camper Mishap was with a small child named George.
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George wasn't exactly the smartest kid in my bunk. He was the kind of
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child that had to be told to do something 8 times before he finally
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realized you were talking to him. He quickly earned his nickname, "Space
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Cadet," when I found him laying on a rock, pointing up into the sky,
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chanting "I want to go home." George was a special case, to say the
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least.
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On the final day of camp, the bunk was changing after swim, and
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little George decides to run around naked. This was a usual occurrence
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with the youngest kids, so I just told him to hurry up and get dressed or
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we were going to leave him. Rather then follow my order, he suddenly
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squats down and makes an eerie pushing sound, clenching his pale, white,
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naked body. The kids stared in awe, as a nice pile of dining hall leftovers
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formed under his squatting body. George just smiled, as he picked up the
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brown form, and proceeded to chase the other kids around threatening to
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"Hit you with my magic space rock."
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This was my second year as a counselor and I had no idea what to
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do, so I ran straight towards him. He immediately threw his "space rock"
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at me, covering my forearm with it's magical clumps of goodness, my other
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arm grabbed him around his waste as I half carried, half dragged him up
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the hill towards the Director's cabin. Needless to say the director was
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not happy to see a naked alien and his shit covered counselor, so after
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being told off for being an idiot, I took lil' Georgie over to the latrine
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so we could both relieve ourselves of the brown cosmic particles.
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Our next Camper Mishap would have to be the time when I decided I
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would get back at all the kids who gave me trouble during the summer.
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Once again, it was during my first few years at camp that this happened.
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I wasn't experienced enough to deal with the stress that working at a
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camp daily can give you. Rather then completely freak out on the kids
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one day, I decided to play a couple of tricks on them, to get even with
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the shit they put me through daily.
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My first victim was Mohammed, who I nicknamed "Moho". As the
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small devil laid in bed dreaming of the crime he would commit against his
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lovable counselor, I used one of the oldest tricks in the camp book. I
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covered his hand with hand lotion and tickled his face, so that he would
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slowly cover his own face with the lotion. This went on for longer then
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I would have suspected, so that when he finally woke up he was probably
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on his third coat of lotion. He woke up with a gasp, as I just started
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cracking up as the layers of caked on lotion slowly chipped away from his
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face. He, of course, looked really fucking pissed, and I just tried to
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act like the caring counselor. He vowed vengeance, which mainly meant
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him taking a piss in my bag the next night... unfortunately he chose
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the wrong bag, and ended up hitting my co-counselor's.
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The next child on my hit list was little Jamie, nicknamed
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"Ashtray" because of his ever-ashey body. The scheme I used on him was
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thought up with the help of my friend. We sat on either side of him as he
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slept, positioning our flashlights inches above his closed eyes. We
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started making quiet choo-choo sounds, slowly getting louder, making sure
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not to wake him yet. We made louder sounds and turned on the flashlights
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at the same time screaming at the top of our lungs, "WATCH OUT FOR THE
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TRAIN!!!" The poor kid jumped up, nearly hitting his head on the top
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bunk above him. I once again played the good counselor and acted as if
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nothing happened, and tried to get him back to sleep, because it was
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"just a terrible dream."
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To get back at the whole bunk at one time, I went on a day-long
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prank-a-thon. Started off with going to one of the older kids and daring
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him to hold my weight on his head. I Just told him to keep his head held
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straight, as I put some of my weight on his head. As he strained, I let
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go an extremely wet fart. Of course, he was extremely pissed, but could
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not stop laughing. Later on the day I decided to have a race of who
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could put their whole body inside of their shirts first. I Had them
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clench their knees to their chests, then put their legs and head inside
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of their shirts. As they all struggled to do this, I went behind each
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one that was done and gave them a soft push so that their little balled
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up bodies quickly rolled down the hill. There's nothing like seeing
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seven lil' balls fly down a hill at 70 mph.
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Looking back on my years as a counselor I realize how many bad
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things I have done to these children. I know I was fucked up to do so,
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but I was a child myself for the most part. It was all done in good fun,
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and for the most part I didn't leave them with any major scars. Well, at
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least physical ones. I don't know when Jamie will be able to ride the
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train again.
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[-------------------------------------------------------------------------]
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[ (c) HOE E'ZINE -- http://www.hoe.nu HOE #1061, BY LATINMAN - 4/18/00 ]
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