246 lines
13 KiB
Plaintext
246 lines
13 KiB
Plaintext
s$
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$$ .d""b. .d""b. HOE E'ZINE #1028
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[-- $$""b. $$ $$ $$ $$ -- ------------------------------------------- --]
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$$ $$ $$ $$ $$ss$$ "Lucid Dreaming is Hard"
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$$ $$ $$ $$ $$ by, Mr A Jim
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$$ $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ 02/27/00
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[-- $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ -- ------------------------------------------- --]
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$$ $$ "TssT" "TssT"
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MONDAY, APRIL 19: Performance; Blacks and Whites Hate Jews
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- A semi-circle of KKK guys in white hoods. Several are tall
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black men with glasses, possibly a famous movie star or Louis
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Farakhan. We're on the Brookline High School auditorium stage.
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The floor is dusty and it's hard to tell at that point if
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there's an audience. The curtains are a greenish-blue, rather
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than the real red. I'm up stage right, on the floor. It's
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proposed by a "friend" that i do a speech on [unclear here, then
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it becomes clear eventually that it's] MOTIVATION. I turn them
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down. It was really some good old friends that suggested this,
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and I would've done it if I had known, but it only becomes clear
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later.
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- Something about a fish/pet
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- Trying to control a person in a dream, "me"? There's a small
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black figure at the bottom of the "screen", is it me or am I 3rd
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person? Can I actually control this person? Is it a real
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person, or some sort of tool bar (e.g. adventure games)?
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- Why is it always Rich's room, always?
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- I'm on the floor, I can't get up for more than a few seconds
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{dream sign}. Is this a manifestation of my physical sensation
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of being in bed, or does it mean I have trouble holding up
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myself in the metaphorical sense?
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TUESDAY, APRIL 20, 6:00am: A Party
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- Like something I've seen on one of the many TV shows I've been
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watching this week, a sitcom, even the same colors and shapes.
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[The PJs, apparently.] The only thing is that this time, my
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memories are OF it, not IN it, which makes it all the stranger.
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- ?
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- Something about Akshay (not the same one from school who wears a
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lot of Polartec). He's writing ANOTHER article? Oh, wait, it's
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not that exact name, it's just some other guy who is kinda like
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him, somehow. Oh, and also, it's a non-school newspaper.
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WEDNESDAY, APRIL 21, 10:00am: A Man With a Brown Ponytail
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- I don't know anything more here.
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- It's Aphex Twin's 15th album!!! When will it stop?
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- "Pam"
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- A CD that's all static/noise
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- Cellulite [on Pam?]
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- A diner (possibly one I went to in NH a few weeks ago, or rather
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the one that I didn't go to because of those menacing-looking
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women)
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- Dreaming I'm writing this about dreaming
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THURSDAY, APRIL 22: But I Still Never Make It Home
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- Henry runs the Cadence now (instead of the Sagamore), but now
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it's an e-zine. He asks me to read over a new issue (and then
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it becomes a new proposal, can't tell whether I completely
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perceive him as editor or chair). It's an article now. "How To
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Write for Us." I dismiss it, saying "Yeah, every 'zine needs an
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issue like that" (telling people how to write a good
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file/article).
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- I walk across cypress field and meet Tom (D.); we're going to my
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house to practice (this is during the time I was playing drums
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for these two kids' crust punk band), but Jesse (the Korean
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skinhead guitarist) is missing. Tom gets caught up at the T
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stop (why does he always take the T, when you can walk there so
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easily? I guess his house is a bit farther away than mine). I
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decide to keep walking without him. I toss something on the
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ground, on the grass, near the hill opposite the school, and
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hope no one notices. I think a cop has noticed, but it's just a
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dog that's now half-chasing me. The hill at the end of the
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field has crept up on me and is now very steep. I walk to it,
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and it's flat again, and there's a picket fence with a gate at
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the end. There's a door as well. It doesn't go to Cypress
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Street, but to another scene. I take the door.
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- I'm in some urban intersection, nowhere real, but I've been here
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before (Downtown Crossing-esque, but shady). I find the bus
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stop, but then realize that the T is closer and a B (Boston
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College line, my train) is arriving. I dash across the tracks
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to reach it, but I am distracted by [unclear here]. I look down
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and I am hit by the train "just a little". I'm on the ground
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{dream sign} slowly rolling over the tracks (about 4 inches off
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the ground) and I just make it off the tracks before another
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train comes. It turns out that I didn't need to run to the
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train in the first place; the outbound train was on the track
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closest to me all along. I get on the train (now close to me
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again) and sit on one of the sideways-facing seats, but this one
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is between two other seats, instead against a divider. I feel
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claustrophobic. A guy in a yarmulke nods at me to say hello.
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There is a quick scene change.
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- I'm still on the train, but it must have gotten to the end of
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the line and the lights are out. I'm alone (this is very
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reminiscent of Police Quest 4 when you wake up in the murderer's
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apartment). I get up and realize that I somehow have left my
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drum hardware and snare drum (in its soft beato case) behind,
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since the last time I was on the T a few days ago (not
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actually), I had it. I feel that I'm going to be found out for
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being on the train by myself after the passengers are supposed
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to have gotten off. I make an excuse in my mind, and decide to
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construct some kind of alibi using some kind of newspaper or
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sign that's sitting next to me. The scene shifts slightly.
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There's now a big-screen TV at the end of the car, where the
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driver sits, and there's some porn on it. I'm naked now, and I
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have a larger-than-usual erection. I can just see the couple's
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faces on the screen, vaguely. Their faces are normal, but then
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I realize that the faces are powdered. The "woman" has a wig
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and fake breasts; it's a man. "I'm sorry you're not _really_ a
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woman," the "man" says. I look down at my large erection; it's
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clear now that my genitals are not really mine, but someone
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else's. I touch myself briefly to examine what's going on, and
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then I stop. The scene shifts back again, slightly. I'm
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clothed again and the screen is gone. I check my alibi card
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again, then I look out the window. It's Brighton, at the
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intersection with the fire station. It's cold, gray, and rainy
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out. I'm looking at the block of restaurants on the corner
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(which is nowhere near a fire station). The scene shifts.
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- I'm in some master crime boss's offices. I still need to get
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home. I pass a few checkpoints, then get to a waiting area
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(sort of like Die Hard for Play Station where you have to go
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through each floor, sweeping out bad guys). A few men leave the
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boss's office, and I get up to go in, but one other man remains
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in the office. The boss gives me a signal with his hand (not
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one that says "have him killed", but rather) that means "hold on
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a second". I go to sit back down, but there's no proper place
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to sit now. I go to a table with a cardboard box marked
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ALTERNATE CLOTHES. I take off my [unclear here] and place it in
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the box. I hang up my blue shirt on the coat tree, but I'm still
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wearing it. I'm carrying my drum hardware now. I put it down.
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The scene shifts.
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- I'm outside the house late at night, barefoot (I don't look
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down, but I can feel the tight grain of the pavement). The
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yellow street lights are especially bright. I notice some of my
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homemade Indian food lying in the gutter. I realize that a few
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hours ago I had to have people help me dump some out because the
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pot was too full. I hope the food will decompose soon enough.
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- I only have 2 $1 bills in my wallet.
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FRIDAY, APRIL 23: Chronic Dysfunction
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- I'm slurring my speech really badly as I talk and people are
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making fun of me
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- The toilet overflows (there's nothing in it but water). I turn
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off the water supply and leave.
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- Bleach supposedly will clean [unclear here] but it doesn't work;
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I keep dipping the object I'm trying to clean into many small
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glasses of bleach.
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SATURDAY, MAY 8: 7-Eleven
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- I'm in the convenience store where I went late last night,
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before going to bed. Evil (super-?) villains have held the
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store hostage. They don't have any guns. Many outrageous
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kung-fu battles ensue between the enforcers, but no one gets
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hurt, and no one loses the battles. The enforcers are somewhat
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simian. No escape. Plotting. Waiting. Hiding behind rows of
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products on shelves/bookshelves (I'm sort of in the library
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now). The lights are dim and filtered. One of the villains
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throws shriukens and I catch them in mid- air. I eventually
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notice that they're dull and don't hurt. Alex is catching them
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too now. I'm fighting a large, simian man now, but there's
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still no damage being done. I'm woken up.
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[date unknown]: *STAR*
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- I get hungry. Somewhere, I see an ad/display for two brands of
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products in big cans (Contadina?) so I go to Star. They now
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have a big music selection [this may have been before they
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actually started selling music, or perhaps just a comparison to
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their current stock], sandwiched between the self-serve Jelly
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Belly bins and the self-serve bakery area. I'm there with my
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father. Everything's much bigger, especially the faux-wood
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floor of the health food area. The cheese area is now some
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prepared food nook, with gray speckled counters (the same gray
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speckle as my drums). A black man whom I seem to know is
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carrying two copies each of several records (to DJ?) and I
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quickly point this out to my father (maybe to convince him to
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buy me turntables). The man and my father begin to talk. My
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father shows the man what records he picked out. Some of his
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selections are ones we already have at home, but our copies got
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too scratched up to use anymore (clarinet-something). I'm back
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in the health food area and I see Alex and say hello. At point,
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I see a second Alex; the original is still dressed in all black,
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as he frequently is, but now he has a trench coat. The second
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one has shorter hair, faded jeans, and a green jacket. Some
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sort of explanation for this phenomenon is made and the scene
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shifts.
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- I'm still in Star, now playing with one of the Alexes and
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running around. There is a bin of crushed ice (like for fish)
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with nothing in it in the middle of the health food area. We
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run and jump in it, sliding across it. We get caught by a
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manager. There is a showdown with the Star staff (evil) in the
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dairy area. The manager has his second-in-command (an elderly
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woman in a Star cashier outfit) jump on me. She smacks me a few
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times. The woman is almost bald, evenly over her head. I rub
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her head to piss her off and she jumps back, now wielding a
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knife (a Henckels Twinstar Plus paring knife, just like I have
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at home) and I have to push her nose up into her brain to defeat
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her. The scene shifts.
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- I'm at my desk in my room, wanting to go to bed, but I realize
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that my bed was right next to that tub of ice at Star and I
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can't go back now, after the battle. I realize that the
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second-best place to sleep is on the grass in the field behind
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Devotion (my elementary school). The scene shifts.
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- I'm in my sleeping bag now, on the field. Someone approaches.
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He has a lacrosse stick and BHS lacrosse uniform. (Josh
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Motenko?) More and more people pass by like this. I realize
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practice must've just gotten out. It's a dark summer night. A
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gaggle of girls passes by, all in their lacrosse uniforms,
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including a girl who lives across the street from the field. I
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look up and another crowd of lacrosse players comes by. Pete (a
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hardcore vegan and staunch critic of school sports) is one of
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them. They go into a huddle, putting their hands in, and then
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pulling them out with a shout of "Go Brookline!" I realize that
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I have a bed at home, too, and then happily go to sleep.
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[-------------------------------------------------------------------------]
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[ (c) HOE E'ZINE -- http://www.hoe.nu HOE #1028, BY MR A JIM - 02/27/00 ]
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