76 lines
3.4 KiB
Plaintext
76 lines
3.4 KiB
Plaintext
,...
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$$$$
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$$$$T""P$$$ba, ,gd&P""T&bg. ,gd&P""T&bg.
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ggggggggggg $$$$ $$$$$b d$$$$ $$$$b d$$$$ $$$$$b ggggggggggg
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""""""""""" $$$$ $$$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$$bxxP&$$&P """""""""""
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$$$$ $$$$$$ T$$$$ $$$$P T$$$$
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$$$"""""" " """" $$$$$$ "T&$bxxd$&P" "T&$bxx$$$$$' " """"""$$$
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""" """""" """
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ggg "Public Transportation Revisited" ggg
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$$$ by -> AnonGirl $$$
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$$$ $$$
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$$$ [ HOE E-Zine #988 -- 12/23/99 -- http://www.hoe.nu ] .,$$$
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`"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""'
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After writing the first weak version of my thoughts on public
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transportation, I came to realize I'd left out quite a few factors that
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need to be covered. Last time I discussed the three main types of people
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on the bus: the sick bastards, the odors, and the "mentally different".
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However, I feel I missed a few things.
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Normally, there are forty seats allocated for forty people, and
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the rest stand or lie down or whatever. Unless you weigh 700lbs,
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everyone who has a seat is sure to be reasonably comfortable where they
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are. Unfortunately, there's a small breed of young men who feel the need
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to not only have one seat for their behind, but one on each side for
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their legs, and so that "their balls don't get squished". I understand
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that that area on a man is sensitive, but unless he has elephantitis of
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the nuts, the space he has is good enough for his ass, his legs, and his
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precious manhood.
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Next comes On-Board Regurgitation. Puking, in general, isn't a
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happy thought, but spewing on the bus/train/subway is neither the time or
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place to do so. I know, it's not much of a controllable situation, but
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anyone who is over the age of 6 can usually manage to find a safe place
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to throw up. It's especially disagreeable because no matter how much
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it's cleaned, the vehicle will always and forever-more emit the foul
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stench of puke.
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If Martin Luther could've posted 95 theses on Public
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Transportation, the following would be just a few from the list:
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1. Those who choose to wear cologne or perfume must agree not to
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marinate in it beforehand.
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2. God forgives none who touch themselves or others while riding
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public transportation.
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3. Whether or not one decides to bathe is not an option in the
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case of public transportation.
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4. He who wipes his runny nose is not permitted to touch any
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section of the vehicle at all times.
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5. People do not want to be spoken to while using public
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transportation, as friendly as they may seem.
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6. If one must blare their Walkman at 200db, it cannot, and can
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never be playing M2M.
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7. All punk-ass bitches who wear their pants hanging off their
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ass and suck their teeth at innocent commuters will be executed at
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gunpoint.
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8. Each parent must have on their person at least one muzzle for
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every child they bring on board.
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9. You are not the most important person to ever exist, believe
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it or not.
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And finally,
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10. No one wants to see your penis.
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[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #988, BY ANONGIRL - 12/23/99 ]
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