58 lines
3.3 KiB
Plaintext
58 lines
3.3 KiB
Plaintext
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(*) (*) * (*)~*~(*) HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #900
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* 0 0 ~ 0 *
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~ 0 0 ~* *~ 0 hOGS ~ "How Many People Understand
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( 0*~*~*0 ( ) 0*~*~ oF ) Quantum Physics Anyway?"
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~ 0 0 ~ ~ 0 eNTROPY ~ by Six
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* 0 0 * * 0 * 11-7-99
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(*) (*) ~ (*)~*~(*)
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So this morning I'm sitting in my car as per usual. Running early,
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munching on my breakfast bar, cruising down Rt. 80.. when I see the
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commuters worst nightmare. About 10 miles of break lights up ahead. I
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mutter "Oh fuck" to myself and search for that talk station with the traffic
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reports. After listening for 10 minutes the traffic finally comes on, and
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they don't even mention the back-up I'm sitting in. GREAT, GRAND, WONDERFUL.
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Suddenly the traffic moves.. YAY! I could still be on time. After
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about a mile.. dead stop. So this goes on for 20 minutes when I finally see
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up ahead a clear in the traffic so I assume I am about to pass the cause of
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this big mess. A few lanes blocked I assume, construction maybe, but no,
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nothing logical.. A fender bender, two cars and a trooper on the side of the
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road. Of course every fucking moron driving by has to gawk and look and see
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what's going on. The idiot in front of me actually put his car into park so
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he could look for a sec. At least twice a week I run into this shit.
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After a year of commuting I have come to a conclusion. Fast drivers
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do not cause accidents. If everyone went fast there would be no problem.
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We'd all be going and we would not hit each other. It's the people that
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STOP that cause the problem. It's the people that don't get their toll
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money ready before they embark on their trip and spend 5 minutes digging in
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their pockets for 35 cents as they manage to back up the Garden State
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Parkway for 25 miles. It's the fool that insists on doing 50 even though
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the speed limit is now 65. It's every jackass that has to look at an
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accident. JUST USE YOUR FUCKING GAS PEDAL AND DRIVE GODDAMNIT.
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Soooo, I get through the traffic on Route 80, merge on to route 46
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and ..lala.. more traffic. Caused by two people doing 30.. 30 ITS A FUCKING
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HIGH WAY. By this time I was pissed, I passed them on the shoulder and gave
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them the finger. If I had a gun, I probably would have shot out their
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tires... Thus the reason I don't have a gun, or throwing knives, or a cross-
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bow.. in my car.
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On Saturday I drove into NYC. The only problem there was when
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everyone merges into the Lincoln Tunnel is one bitch jammed her way in and
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did not alternate, letting someone in ahead of her.. Stupid bitch..
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ALTERNATE GODDAMNIT.
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At this time I shall digress. But if you are travelling Rt. 80 east
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around 8 am.. USE YOU'RE FUCKING GAS PEDAL AND DON'T LOOK AT THE SIDE OF THE
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ROAD, THERS ALWAYS SOMEONE PULLED OVER.. GET USED TO IT..
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PS. I was 12 minutes late for work, but no one noticed Yay!
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(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~)
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( *(c) hOGS oF eNTROPY pRESS* HOE #895 ~ WRITTEN BY: SIX ~ 11/7/99 )
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