86 lines
3.9 KiB
Plaintext
86 lines
3.9 KiB
Plaintext
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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #848
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`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
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888 888 888 888 888 "Not An Addict"
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888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
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888 888 888 888 888 " by Draykonis
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888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 9/24/99
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o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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"What are you doing?"
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"I'm making a t-file."
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"Oh, what's that?"
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"That means a text file."
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"What for?"
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"For the hell of it. I found this E'zine that is really kick ass,
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and I want to be in it."
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"And all you have to do is make one of these 'T-files'?"
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"Well, no, I have to make one good enough that they will print it."
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"So what is yours about?"
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"I don't know yet but I want it to be funny and witty and I don't
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know, just cool."
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"Okay, babe."
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Now I knew my friend was crazy, cos those weird "electro-magazines"
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thingies are almost always exclusively run by some "elite" little clique
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that wouldn't let you write for their all important zine if you were, I
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don't know, Jack Kerouac. Nope, no e'zine for you....
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So how do you break into one of those little cliques? Do you have to
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know the right people? I mean, here was this friend working his ass off to
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get into some e'zine, that knowing him, no one has ever heard of, and his
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only hope was his own innate writing abilities. Good luck I told him. But
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what I was really saying was "Not a snowball's chance in Hell, my friend."
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But yet he continued to type away.
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Let's examine his personality shall we?
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Okay, he spends fully a third of his life in front of the damn
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computer. He drinks massive amounts of Coke, and eats whatever food happens
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to be left near him. I can't even believe that he has drawn himself away
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from his Internet porn long enough to type anything at all. He keeps
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talking about what a great thing the 'Net is and how happy he is. I haven't
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really seen him do anything truly constructive with it yet. I mean, who
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needs 1200 bookmarks for different Ani DiFranco pages? I see him looking up
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his fave bands all night, maybe he'll get onto the Undernet for a while,
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occasionally I catch him checking his email, but otherwise....
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Doesn't it get boring?
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Yet, he never seems to stop. Everytime someone mentions the 'Net, he
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gets this look in his eye that suggests he would die if it ever went away,
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yet once he sits at a computer, he seems like a zombie, slowly switching
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between the same ten web pages a night. He wants to think that his life is
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great, that he is some sort of Neo-Pagan, intelligent, nature-loving, fun,
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happening, loveable kind of guy. Then life comes crashing down upon him as
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he realizes that he's wasting away in front of a computer, in a relationship
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with someone who will never be able to love him the same way he loves her,
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that he's just some slob who can't write his way out of a subscription card,
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who can't ever seem to do anything right, who is just intelligent enough to
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know that that last statement is what we call self-pity, who will never
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amount to anything, and probably still won't get into this stupid e'zine. I
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mean, that stupid e'zine that, you know, he is, uh, trying to get into.....
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Yup. My friend certainly has some problems. Did I mention he drinks
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a lot?
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You know what I hate? Stories that have no point, and those dumb
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stories about somebody's friend when you know damn well that the friend is
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fictional and it is just their pitiful attempt at hiding their own failings.
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Pathetic.
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #848 - WRITTEN BY: DRAYKONIS - 9/24/99 ]
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