238 lines
9.7 KiB
Plaintext
238 lines
9.7 KiB
Plaintext
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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #822
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`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
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888 888 888 888 888 "The Most/Least Fuckable
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888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8 Cartoon Characters"
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888 888 888 888 888 " by Hardcore
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888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 9/1/99
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o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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Yes, this list is pointless. But we don't care;) This list was done
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by Hardcore, and (Astrotart and Jokah^.) You can find all of us on
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efnet, ;}
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[-----]
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Top Ten Most Fuckable Female Cartoon Characters (Hardcore's list)
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- quinn (Dumb, whore cheerleader type...I never had one in real life...
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so why not try a cartoon one:))
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- aeon flux (imagine what sexual positions you can get her into...and have
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you seen her tongue?....damn..and a fine body too!)
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- josie and the pussycats (did you see the way they handled those
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instruments? now those are some nice pussy......
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cats...)
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- jessica rabbit (any cartoon character willing to show her crotch on film
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is top 10 in my book!)
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- teenage pebbles (she got pretty hot when she became a teenager in the
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later episodes of the Flinstones...I'd like to bam bam
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her.)
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- snow white (she is used to those dwarfs...so she'd think i have a big
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dick)
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- goth girl (there is something about girls with pale faces and piercings..
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that drives me crazy!)
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- daphne (sorry, Fred and Shaggy, and Scoooooby...immma shag her rotten)
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- judy jetson (eek ork oop ah ah)
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- she-ra (i could use a good work out with this buff beauty :})
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[-----]
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Top Ten Least Fuckable Female Cartoon Characters (Hardcore's list)
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- mamma cass (Remember when Mamma Cass guest star'd on Scooby Doo?...well
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I don't think there is enough flour in the world to find
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the wet spot on her.)
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- daisy duck (She is one hairy bitch...too many feathers for my liking
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or licking.)
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- The Powerpuff girls (i'm not that sick...they are only in kindergarten..
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I have to wait about 12 more years for them:))
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- Wednesday Addams (She's a little too morbid for me...she'd prolly kill
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me and have sex with my dead body)
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- tinkerbell (oh boy is she cute. But the problem is, too tiny. She'd
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be torn apart if you had sex with her.)
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- rosie the robot (She is made of metal, unless your dick is made of steel,
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stay the fuck away!)
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- velma (she's a man...baby....)
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- smurfette (she's the only female in the village, she is used more than a
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public bathroom and prolly just as dirty.)
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- marge simpson (the thought of her having orgasm just scares me. It would
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sound like a 50 year old man who smokes alot screaming.
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big big turn off!)
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- april o'neil (she had sex with all the turtles...turtles carry a lot of
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disease. No Thanks!)
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[-----]
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Top Ten Most Fuckable Female Cartoon Characters (Jokah^'s list)
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- daria (oh my god, you know she has to be an awesome fuq... once she takes
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off those glasses she'll turn into a wild jackalope in heat.)
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- jessica rabbit (three words: GIGANTIC CARTOON BOOBIES)
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- april o'neil (reporter chiq from teenage mutant ninja turtles.. mmmm
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gotta luv that sessy jumpsuit... didn't you just wanna give
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that zipper down the middle a good *tug*?)
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- ALL* girls from archie comics in a huge orgy of big busted high schoolers
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(mmmm... veronica... betty.... midge... the pussycats.... *drool*)
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* excluding big ethel! ewwwww, that shit's nasty....
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- wilma & betty (but only at the same time & with kinky stoneage sex toys)
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- Wonder Woman (yeah, yeah.. she's on everyone's list.. how can you
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possibly leave the queen of cartoon bondage off your list?)
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- strawberry shortcake & friends (mmmm... they all smell so damn tasty! i
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wonder if they smell like that "down
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there" too?)
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- velma (before you go saying what a nasty ho she is, think about this:
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this chiq _knows how to suck cock_. she's been practicing on
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dildos since age 12 and has been dying to get her hands on a real
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one ever since..... claims that she's a dyke are wildly
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exaggerated-she's just more open-minded than most women.)
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- snow white (she's gotta be fed up with those tiny dwarf dicks, think how
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much she'll love the full-sized version.)
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- blondie & daughter (wife/daughter of dagwood... holy crap these two blonde
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big-busted beauties never fail to give me a little
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thrill whenever I read the funnies. once they showed
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blondie in her underwear! i had a boner all day!)
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[-----]
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Top Ten Least Fuckable Female Cartoon Characters (Jokah^'s list)
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- smurfette (nasty std-riddled hobag! the loosest cartoon character ever
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created, without a doubt.)
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- betty boop (won't shut the fuck up and dances like a twit)
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- tinkerbell (just a little too tight for my liking, thanks)
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- big ethel (nasty skank ho)
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- rosie (robot maid from the jetsons... sure i'm interested, but i'd rather
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not short my circuits, if ya know what i mean....)
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- minnie mouse (bitch)
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- pebbles (YOU SICK FUCK, SHE'S A LITTLE BABY!)
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- granny (the bitch that owns tweety bird... she was probably fuckable 50
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years ago, but now she's just a withered old bag)
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- marge simpson (she nags, she whines, she's got no boobs... wtf does homer
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see in her? maybe she gives good head?)
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- bugs bunny when dressed up as a chiq (bugs... don't do that shit, man.)
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[-----]
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Top Ten Most Fuckable Male Cartoon Characters (astrotart's list)
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10. Plastic Man - I don't have much of an explanation for
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this one though I'm sure he's very
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promising with that expanding and stretching body.
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9. Flint of G.I. Joe - I always had a thing for him and Lady J made me
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jealous. However, I'd be willing to let her in
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on a menage a trois.
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8. Gambit - I love the New Orleans/French accent he's working
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there. My panties would be soaked even after
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having him read off the ten commandments.
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7. He-Man - He has fabulous secret powers that were revealed
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to him the day he held aloft his magic sword and
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said "BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL!". He's got the
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strength of 100 men too and hopefully the sex
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drive. Ok, so maybe he's bisexual, I don't care
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as long as its a one time deal.
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6. Spawn - He's scary looking but he can use those chains of
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his on me anyday.
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5. Dr. Claw of Inspector Gadget - Eventhough you never see his face or much
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of anything for that matter, I'm gonna
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guess he has some sort of amazing penis
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attachment..hence, very fuckable.
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4. Shaggy - The name says it all! He usually fucks up
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but he's got the word 'shag' in his name,
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he's atleast got to be good at that. A
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Bonus might be that we'd get to fuck in
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the mystery machine.
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3. Batman - Oh man, I love the outfit and all the
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mystery about him. He's all flexible
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too which is good for all the positions
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we'd try.
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2. Space Ghost - What a dipshit, he has to be a really good
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fuck. Also, I'd probably get to fuck him in
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space...maybe while flying in mid-air.
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1. The Tick - I'd just like the chance to hear him yell
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out "SPOON!" when he orgasms.
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[-----]
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Top Ten Least Fuckable Male Cartoon Characters (astrotart's list)
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10. Captain Caveman - Too short and too hairy.
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9. Papa Smurf - He probably has so many STDs, even ones that haven't
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been discovered yet thanks to that slam hound smurfette.
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8. Johnny Bravo - He's way too into himself to be able to pleasure me.
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7. Fred of Scooby Doo - Eventhough we all know he constantly fucks Daphne,
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in my opinion he seems very gay with that scarf
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around his neck and in reality, nails Daphne only in
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the ass and well, that's just not my cup of tea.
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6. Cobra Commander - He must be some guy's bitch the way he whines all the
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time in that throaty voice of his.
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5. George Jetson - Unattractive married man with children who can never
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stand up for himself. He probably has a big dick to
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make up for a lack of desirable traits, but I still
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wouldn't do him.
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4. Fred Flintstone - Probably has a tiny dick the way he's such a fucking
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big mouth asshole.
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3. Daffy Duck - Greedy bastard would probably cum on your face after
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sucking his dick and then roll over and go to sleep.
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2. Archie - Probably has crabs thanks to Betty and Veronica.
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1. Superman - He'd probably break me in half with his superhero
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dick and kill me dead with his superhero sperm.
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[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #822 - WRITTEN BY: HARDCORE - 9/1/99 ]
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