153 lines
8.1 KiB
Plaintext
153 lines
8.1 KiB
Plaintext
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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #791
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`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
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888 888 888 888 888 "Hoe Dream"
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888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
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888 888 888 888 888 " by AnonGirl and Miasma
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888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 8/22/99
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o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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"Hoe Dream"
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by AnonGirl
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This is the written version of a dream I had last night.
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There was a Con at my house called Conada. Everyone was hanging out
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in my basement, although the tokers had to go into the laundry room to toke,
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because people were being anal about the smell. I offered Quarex some tokes
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and he gladly accepted them, except when he got high, he turned into the
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Incredible Hulk, and started throwing my gray cat around. Mogel and Stiks
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occupied my living room, because there were wrestling specials on the
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illegal decoder. AltRocks was on his way to the hospital with a severed
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hand, because he stuck it in one of the piranha tanks, after much warning.
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Both tasha and caity were taking a shower, and jubjub was asleep on the
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dining room table. I was making grilled cheese sandwiches for everyone
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except the vegans, who were entitled to toast. (it was a dream)
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Everything was going smoothly until suddenly, people started getting
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killed. AIDS kept trying to lower my dog, Becky, into the big piranha tank,
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but somehow Becky pulled some serious counter-attacks and eventually threw
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AIDS into the tank. Trilobyte got electrocuted because I forgot to warn him
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that the basement lightswitch is broken, and sends out a constant electric
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current. tasha and caity somehow died in the shower, I don't know how.
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Then the weird shit started happening. SwissPope was listening to
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music with big headphones, but the headphones like, came alive, and did some
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funky shit to his brain. He looked like the same ol' SwissPope, but his
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eyes were darker, and unresponsive. Jamesy and PezMonkey decided that they
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were going to McDonald's for supper, and took orders from everyone. The
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bill came out to $251.50. TanAdept didn't notice, because he was busy
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playing with my cats in the attic.
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Night fell shortly after. Zombies began rising from the garden, and
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killed everyone else who hadn't been killed. I don't remember any of the
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zombie deaths, except for Miasma's. Instead of going directly for the
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brain, this zombie only decapitated him. I found myself grabbing Miasma's
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detached head, which was still alive, saying, "Oh god, please, find my body,
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please." I ran around my front yard with Miasma's head in my hands,
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searching for his body, to re-attach it. Suddenly, there was about fifteen
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cop cars in front of my house, getting ready to shoot anything that moves.
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I dropped Miasma's head and swiftly ran back into my house. No one was
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left, except for SwissPope, sitting on the couch in the basement. His face
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was no longer visible, because the headphones had expanded and had a strong
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hold on his entire head. I felt bad for him, but at the same time, I
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realized I had to get out of the house, because the cops were going to blow
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it up. My brother, his girlfriend and I ditched anyone left in my house and
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drove off to safety, in a Jeep Cherokee. My bro had acquired great skills
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in the art of getaway driving from playing the PSX game Driver, so we made
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it out of there in no time. That's pretty much it.
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Conada is the gayest name.
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[-----]
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"Sweet Dreams"
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by Miasma
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As of Friday, July 30th, 1999, I had my first experience of hoes
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being in my dream. Not just any hoes, but two hoes in particular, Catie and
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Tashy. Of course, I have dealt much with the art of storytelling and I
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refuse to let the story simply unravel into nothing so quickly. I will
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build up what they call, 'suspense'.
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Let me first say that I'm quite amused by my zombie head of Anon's
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dream. It has to mean she wants me. I mean, c'mon... she's running around
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with my head in her hands. It's all sexual. It always is. Please, sit
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down, tell me your problems. Did you father sexually abuse you when you
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were three? How did that make you feel? Excuse me for a moment, I need to
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smoke my pipe to complete the effect.
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Oh yes, My dream.
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In fact, it fits in well with Anon's dream. We'll stick me in right
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in between Tashy and Caity in the shower. Not literally, but, well,
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literally enough.
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Prior to this part of the dream, I had been examining this immaculate
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mansion, strewn over from head to toe with the deepest shade of blue and the
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richest shade of gold.
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The time is close to 3am. The sky is the same shade of blue as parts
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of the mansion, mixed with black in a cloud layer in photoshop 5.0.
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After examining the residence, I was transported into a shower that
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looked remarkably familiar to the one of my own home. After I step out of
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the shower on to the towel which lies on top of the pink rounded tile, I
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grabbed a towel from the rack and dried myself off. I wrapped the towel
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around my waist, and then secured it by tucking the corner of the outside
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layer in the inside layer. I stepped outside of the bathroom, exposing my
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dampened skin to the cooler temperatures of the outside air. The hair on my
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body stood on end like a poached salmon in an afghanistan dilido factory. I
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turned left slightly and walked down the cooridor into my room. I sat down
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on my bed, which was of course a decent facsimilie of my own bed and was not
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surprised to see Caity sitting to the left of me and Tashy to the right of
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me. Tashy was extremely quiet, with only her simple grin fixed on her face.
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I guess some things stay in constant in the unconscious. Caity on the other
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hand was quite loquacious. So loquacious, in fact, that I felt she liked to
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use her mouth. She was slyly, yet noticeably, staring at the bulge which
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had accumulated beneath the towel.
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I'll take away slightly from the mood here, as to tell you that this
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dream lasted about .3 seconds in realtime. In dream time, I believe it
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lasted about five.
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Right, my crotch.
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She was staring at it, and as a result, I think I said something to
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her. The words, even though they would add to the effect of drama here, are
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of no importance. I could have said "My, those speckled-goose eggs sure are
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the cat's pajama's." I didn't. But I could have. All would be the same.
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She might have said something to me in return. Again, I don't
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believe it was of any importance. It could have been, "Damn, I'd love to
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make sweet love to you while tearing your body apart with a meat cleaver."
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I don't think it was. But again, it could have. It would make no
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difference. For all intensitive purposes, she said "I like my chickens with
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nipples but no lips."
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I leaned back on my bed, my back was fully against the quilted
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sheets. She took her hand and untucked the towel. She removed one layer
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and then the other, exposing what one might call a one-eyed snake. I do not
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refer to it in this fashion. It is my penis, an extension of myself.
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Caity was surprised by my manhood. At least she didn't say, "My,
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you're short!" like she said when she first saw me at the con. I'm not sure
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how she was surprised, but I think it was in a good way.
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Unfortunately, my dream ends here. There is no sex, there is no
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dancing circus bears, there is no fun. It just ends. Yes, Tashy barely
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played a role, but her presence must have been there for some reason. I
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think the reason behind this dream was the fact that I haven't masturbated
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in about three weeks at this point. The body I believe needs to do
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something with the fluid in the seminal vacules. No liquid escaped from my
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seminal vacules during this dream, however. Nor did a soupy mixture of the
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stuff that contains the blueprint for half a human being.
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Pity.
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[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #791-BY: ANONGIRL AND MIASMA - 8/22/99 ]
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