124 lines
5.8 KiB
Plaintext
124 lines
5.8 KiB
Plaintext
|
|
[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
|
|
ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #790
|
|
`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
|
|
888 888 888 888 888 "I Don't Have Big Hair, Dammit"
|
|
888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8 by Six
|
|
888 888 888 888 888 " (with special thanks to
|
|
888 888 `88b d88' 888 o Jon Bon Jovi)
|
|
o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8 8/12/99
|
|
[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
|
|
|
|
Once upon a time
|
|
Not so long ago
|
|
|
|
What were you expecting? A big, curly helmet, sealed closed with
|
|
Aqua-Net? A backpack full of Poison and BonJovi CDs? Frosty pink lipstick
|
|
maybe? Ok, yes I live by 4 pizza shops, and there are 5 24 hour diners in
|
|
the 3 mile radius of my town. But, seriously, what is a "Jersey Girl"? In
|
|
my travels out of state when I am among a group of my uhm "peers" I am
|
|
automatically labeled the Jersey Girl. So what if I have the ability to
|
|
drive in rush hour traffic while applying my make up, and if someone cuts me
|
|
off I can curse out even the filthiest truck driver. I still don't think
|
|
that's it.
|
|
|
|
Tommy used to work on the docks
|
|
Union's been on strike
|
|
He's down on his luck...it's tough, so tough
|
|
Gina works the diner all day
|
|
Working for her man, she brings home her pay
|
|
For love -- for love
|
|
|
|
Last week when I was cruisin up the GSP (Garden State Parkway for you
|
|
Non-Jersey people) in my Camaro, with the t-tops off. I was getting a nice
|
|
dark tan in my guinea-t, I kept on my skin tight acid washed jeans to
|
|
prevent lines from my shorts... When the fringes on my boots got stuck on
|
|
that little lever that adjusts the seat. I was kind of stuck there so I
|
|
totally grinded out my trans slowing down with out the clutch until I able
|
|
to break free. So, there I am in the mall parking lot a clump of white
|
|
suede fringe ripped from my boots, oh the horror.
|
|
|
|
She says: We've got to hold on to what we've got
|
|
'Cause it doesn't make a difference
|
|
If we make it or not
|
|
We've got each other and that's a lot
|
|
For love -- we'll give it a shot
|
|
|
|
I'm not sure if it's the radiation leaking from the landfills, the
|
|
raw sewage, the medical waste in the water, or those non-stop toxic fires
|
|
under the Pulaski Skyway, but something has made me different from other
|
|
girls in other states. I mean so what if I like the kinda wine that has a
|
|
twist cap, and my prized possession is my Kip Winger issue of play girl.
|
|
Does that really make me so different? I love being from New Jersey, I'm
|
|
not hurt when people tease me about it. I think that they're just jealous.
|
|
The people that make jokes are just jealous! They come from states with no
|
|
personality. States with out ocean, boardwalks, Springstein, pork roll, egg
|
|
and cheese on a hard roll, saltwater taffy and jug-handles. There is a
|
|
point to this..
|
|
|
|
We're half way there
|
|
Livin' on a prayer
|
|
Take my hand and we'll make it -- I swear
|
|
Livin' on a prayer
|
|
|
|
I lock up my car, snap on the t-tops and roll up the tinted windows
|
|
and head on into the mall. I make my mandatory stop and jean country to see
|
|
if they have those stretchy jeans with the little zippers down the side.
|
|
Alas they still have not got them in stock. Of course my next stop is to Z.
|
|
Cavarricci. Once I buy that shirt like Jennifer Milles wore in "Flash
|
|
Dance" and some new white suede boots, it's time to go home.
|
|
|
|
Tommy got his six string in hock
|
|
Now he's holding in what he used
|
|
To make it talk -- so tough, it's tough
|
|
Gina dreams of running away
|
|
When she cries in the night
|
|
Tommy whispers: Baby it's okay, someday
|
|
|
|
This is really not a joke. I don't make fun of people from
|
|
Pennsylvania for their cheesetsteaks. Or people from Iowa for their corn..
|
|
I like corn. Maybe it's just that the rest of the country is full of PC
|
|
people, and the only thing in the world left that it's PC to make fun of is
|
|
New Jersey. "Hey Big Hair what exit do you live on".. I hate that
|
|
commercial.
|
|
|
|
We've got to hold on to what we've got
|
|
'Cause it doesn't make a difference
|
|
If we make it or not
|
|
We've got each other and that's a lot
|
|
For love -- we'll give it a shot
|
|
|
|
After hitting the diner for dinner, I headed back home to shower.
|
|
Three hours later once I got my hair nice and big, layered on all my
|
|
foundation and blue mascara I got back in the Camaro. Did I mentioned my
|
|
Camaro is named Bret after Bret Michaels from poison.. I have that PlayGirl
|
|
too! I swung by my friend Gina's house to pick up her and her boyfriend
|
|
Tony. We had to take off the T-tops again because Gina's hair was rubbing
|
|
against them.
|
|
|
|
We're half way there
|
|
Livin' on a prayer
|
|
Take my hand and we'll make it -- I swear
|
|
Livin' on a prayer
|
|
|
|
If all you people that think New Jersey is so bad and such a hell
|
|
hole hate it so much. Stay away never ever come here and don't even speak
|
|
to me about it. This state needs fewer people, especially the annoying kind
|
|
like yourselves.
|
|
|
|
We've got to hold on ready or not
|
|
You live for the fight when it's all that you've got
|
|
|
|
We swung down to Hunka Bunkas and danced the night away. I was so
|
|
angry when they didn't have bending straws for my beer.
|
|
|
|
We're half way there
|
|
Livin' on a prayer
|
|
Take my hand and we'll make it -- I swear
|
|
Livin' on a prayer
|
|
|
|
Bite Me. I don't have big hair, damnit.
|
|
|
|
[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
|
|
[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #790 - WRITTEN BY: SIX - 8/12/99 ]
|