69 lines
3.2 KiB
Plaintext
69 lines
3.2 KiB
Plaintext
|
|
[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
|
|
ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #744
|
|
`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
|
|
888 888 888 888 888 "Booth 53"
|
|
888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
|
|
888 888 888 888 888 " by Etienne
|
|
888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 7/22/99
|
|
o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
|
|
[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
|
|
|
|
So, I'd like this thing up my ass you see. It is small. Any idea
|
|
yet? OK, OK, it is hard and used to be shiny but it got very dull over the
|
|
years. Can you guess what this wonderful contraption might be?
|
|
|
|
"Is it your finger?"
|
|
|
|
No.
|
|
|
|
"Is it a dildo?"
|
|
|
|
NO!
|
|
|
|
"An Alaskan dick?"
|
|
|
|
NOOO!
|
|
|
|
I might as well reveal this superb piece of machinery. It is a
|
|
trusty musty pewter syringe. I know, when the word syringe comes up you
|
|
think pointy sharp thing poking and prodding at your body like a
|
|
cheeseburger on wheels. But think 19th century, even better..think..1880.
|
|
Imagine yourself lying around on green and lavender silk sheets with red
|
|
velour curtains drawn shut, and your extremely constipated. What are you to
|
|
do when in such dire need of medical attention? Why, turn to your French
|
|
doctor that has brought over with him the latest in technology of course!
|
|
|
|
This doctor, he brings with him three beautiful nurses. They are
|
|
wearing their cute little white aprons and all you can think about is what
|
|
color their corset might be. All is well and good besides the fact that
|
|
your feces is dry and hardened making evacuation difficult and infrequent.
|
|
In other words, your shit is stuck way the hell up our ass and you can't get
|
|
it out. While your dream of pinks and yellows the doctor whips out his
|
|
trusty musty device and shows it to you.
|
|
|
|
"This is the latest of our French technologies. BAH, Americans know
|
|
nothing of advances in medical science. I spit on them!" "Patooey!"
|
|
|
|
This device is a tubular piece of thick pewter, measuring around 12
|
|
inches long and 3 1/2 inches wide, with a screw on top to remove the wooden
|
|
plunger. At the end of this piece is a screw cap that has a good sized hole
|
|
in it. Attached to that protruding hole is a yellowed small rubber tube.
|
|
And, from that rubbery tube is an even smaller tube of pewter that is about
|
|
2 1/2 inches long and has a small void in the center. Interesting, Eh?
|
|
Well suppose they suggest they are going to fill this tube with some vile
|
|
smelling liquid, place the small pewter tube up your ass while squatting
|
|
over a large bucket. How is that for technology!
|
|
|
|
Every day I go into work I take a look at that piece of metal and
|
|
wonder what it would feel like to have that nice smooth and round metal up
|
|
my ass. Oh the Dee-Lites I would enjoy!
|
|
|
|
"John, your wanted at the front desk. We need item number:
|
|
931980709."
|
|
|
|
There goes my chance!
|
|
|
|
[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
|
|
[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #744 - WRITTEN BY: ETIENNE - 7/22/99 ]
|