66 lines
3.1 KiB
Plaintext
66 lines
3.1 KiB
Plaintext
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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #734
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`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
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888 888 888 888 888 "Getting All Towed-Up"
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888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
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888 888 888 888 888 " by Big Daddy Bill
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888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 7/16/99
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o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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So here I am, chillin in the cop shop, waiting for this 105 year
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old... cop secretary?... to find out if I have to pay right there at the
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desk, or if I have to go to the Clerk of Courts across the street, to pay my
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"lack of proof of insurance" ticket I got last night.
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It's me, Steve, and Mr Negro (aka Jeremy) sitting at an intersection
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between 17th and central. Well, we weren't sitting there, we were in a damn
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car.. so really we were idling there.
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Anyway, a cop drives right by us, just doin' what cops do, y'know...
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lookin' for crime to stop! I figured this out, and believe me, it's an
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amazing theory... "If cops can only pull you over if they're behind you...
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then I'll get behind this cop! And he can't do shit! I am the smartest man
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in the world!!!"
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At that time, however, I forgot that my brights were permanently
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stuck on and our silly asses indeed got pulled over. It's like... damn.
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So they one-time me, pulled me from the car, beat me in the streets
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with their billy clubs (ha ha), all the while Mr Negro filmed it. It was
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beautiful, like Rodney King.. only reversed roles.
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After they finished clubbing me ruthlessly, they issued me the
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following citations:
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$41.00 - violating issued learners permit
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$145.00 - lack of proof of insurance
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$11.00 - having a larger-than-average head
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I told the cop it wasn't my fault I had a big head. I didn't even
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know it was a crime! He told me some shit about FCC regulations.. like if a
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pilot needed to make an emergency crash, he'd mistake the top of my skull
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for a landing field and crash right into my melon. And someone could get
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hurt.
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"Plus", he added all James Earl Jones-y... "Ignorance of the law is
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no excuse..."
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What is a man to do? I have to pay the tickets before my car can get
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out of impound. The tow itself was 50 bucks, and that doesn't make any
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frickin' sense. In Dubuque, IA, the going rate for a "law-abiding citizen"
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to get his-her car-truck towed-pulled is $35.00 American dollars. But for a
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"criminally insane meglomaniac" it costs $50.00. www.whatthefuck.com
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To this day the car is rotting in impound, while I wait for my
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paycheck to come. Man, I only make like 250 a paycheck and The Man is
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getting most of it. Why don't they just take the whole damn thing!?
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But, what can ya do... another day in the life of Big Daddy Bill.
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(And I never really thought my head was that big anyway, stupid pigs)
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #734 - BY: BIG DADDY BILL - 7/16/99 ]
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