66 lines
3.5 KiB
Plaintext
66 lines
3.5 KiB
Plaintext
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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #706
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`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
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888 888 888 888 888 "Teenagers, Nazis, and the French"
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888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
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888 888 888 888 888 " by Big Daddy Bill
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888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 7/1/99
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o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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Teenagers, Nazis, and the French: in this article, you will be
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stunned at how little I know about any of the above topics. It will amaze
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you at how much I can just ramble and make absolutely no sense. In fact, I
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know only a few teenagers, even fewer Nazis, and yes... only one Frenchman.
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But alas, I have studied these subjects well, and I have drawn upon one
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conclusion:
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In one form or another, we hate them.
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You can be a teenage Nazi, you can be a French teenager, but you
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cannot be a French teenage Nazi. The laws of physics won't allow it to
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happen. Why, if any such child could be conceived, it would be a gruesome,
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horrific sight. People would pay to see such a monstrosity.
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Teenagers themselves are rude individuals, with little or no caring
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about anyone else but themselves. They think only of getting drunk, having
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sex, and getting drunk.
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Nazis are full of spite for the human race, and much like teenagers,
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are incredibly rude; however, the former and the latter were both taught to
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be rude from peers.
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The French are naturally born rude and obnoxious, with no conception
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of bathing and/or grooming themselves. The females grow body hair in places
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where men do not care to see, and the males have excessive facial hair. It
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could be said that the French are hairy, as well as rude and smelly.
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And then we have to picture the sight of a French teenage Nazi, the
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lowest link on the human chain of evolution. Such a creature would not only
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be horribly rude, but it would grow mass amounts of hair, and then shave all
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of it off from only the sensible place to allow hair to grow: the head.
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They would wear stylish clothing, and scream "Le Hitler!" at the top of
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their black, smoke-filled lungs. They would drink so much alcohol it could
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choke a horse, if horses could choke on alcohol. They would have mass
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amounts of sex, and reproduce at an alarming rate. But the most disturbing
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fact is they would have exuberant amounts of sex with members of their own
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family.
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Some could say that it is at least human. Some could argue that
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being French disqualifies you from being a human. Others would say that it
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would be more Nazi, less teenager and French. I would have to say that I
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would immediately kill myself if it would ever be born. Let's look at the
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odds here... there are a lot of Nazis, a ton of teenagers and too many
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Frenchmen, so what are the chances of all three of them combining into one?
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It really doesn't matter, because it can't happen... right?
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It is only in this writer's morbid imagination that this dreadful
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being could come alive. Do not fear America, for it is in a mere fantasy
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(perhaps better called a nightmare) that this thing will ever live. Why, it
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is ridiculous to even think about it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go
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drink alcohol, smoke and join the KKK.
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #706-WRITTEN BY: BIG DADDY BILL-7/1/99 ]
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