101 lines
4.5 KiB
Plaintext
101 lines
4.5 KiB
Plaintext
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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #683
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`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
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888 888 888 888 888 "Russian Women Through The Ages"
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888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
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888 888 888 888 888 " by Jook
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888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 6/14/99
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o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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"entire contents copyright 1999, Imagine media, Inc. All rights
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reserved. reproduction in whole or part is prohibited. a, a1, a2, a3, a4,
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b . . ."
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- "mac addict," issue 34.
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[-----]
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"your parents did it, shomie. how cool can it be?"
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"stop reading that damn time magazine and quoting random stuff out
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of it that applies to my life," shomie said as he inspected a single hair on
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the top of his head that just would not stay down. "you know it pisses the
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fuck out of me when you have to do that and start buggin' me."
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"but shomie, this is where you come in!"
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shomie placed his hairbrush on the nightstand next to his bed and
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walked towards the other end where jobe was playing a random game on his
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psx. "jobe, there's only one of you and you're not doing any coming. now
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please move so i can sit next to you on the bed." jobe froze. "damnit. why
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are you just staring at the television?"
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"dddddffd."
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"you broke it, didn't you? you broke my damn psx didn't you? what
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the hell, jobe? you broke my computer last week, now you broke this? what
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are you trying to do?" shomie's voice began to raise the more he thought
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about the situation. his eyes looked through jobe like a fucking man who
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had just lost his best friend. "you broke my playstation you fucker." he
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raised his fist, but not towards jobe. he raised his fist to his own face
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and started punching himself in the eye. "damnit." a punch to the left.
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"stupid piece . . ." a shot to the right. "i'm going to kill you." a shot
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to the gut. "how am i supposed to become more and more lazy and more and
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more appathetic if both my computer and psx is broke? what am i supposed to
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do, comb my hair all day?"
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jobe, not really sure what to say after he just saw his friend
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beating the crap out of himself, "well, you didn't get that hair down. i
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mean, you did for a sec, but after you started beating yourself, it popped
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right up again. it was just like that - pop - and there it was again,
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sticking up there."
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"great jobe, i'll just do that."
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"hey, when it comes right down to it, isn't every catastrophe an
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opportunity?"
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"this is an opportunity to kill you, you son of a bitch. tell me how
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you broke the playstation and maybe i'll let you go. was it the russian
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woman? kubasova?"
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"oh, god. how'd did you know about her? i thought we had the door
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locked . . ."
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"your mom told me about her. i mean, you can't just bring a russian
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woman into the country like that. there are strings attached."
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"and then you saw us . . ."
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"no, but i could hear you. i just wasn't expecting it to be taking
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place on top of my f''n playstation. didn't that hurt?"
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"no, i kind of liked having the controller there. it was my own way
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of pleasing myself while i pleased her. plus russian women have simply
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gotten with it. they like that sort of stuff."
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"you're kidding me right."
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"yes, of course i am. she was one powerful woman, though. if only
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russia were run by its women. today, the county's males - from president
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boris yeltsin and first deputy prime minister anatoly chubais on down - are
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in crisis."
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"i know what you mean, jobe. russia's just going to explode with a
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feminist revolution one of these days. i was just thinking about that when
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i was combing my hair."
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the two sat down again on the bed, both contemplating the current
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crisis in russia. how sad, they thought, that a woman like kubasova
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couldn't have more. jobe leaned back onto shomie's bed with shomie as the
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two cuddled with each other and dealt with the feminist situation in russia
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together, the only way they knew how.
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"hey jobe, where's that controller?"
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"underneath the bed, i think."
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #683 - WRITTEN BY: JOOK - 6/14/99 ]
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