85 lines
5.2 KiB
Plaintext
85 lines
5.2 KiB
Plaintext
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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #675
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`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
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888 888 888 888 888 "Those Darn V-1 Rockets"
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888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
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888 888 888 888 888 " by AnonGirl
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888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 6/9/99
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o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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I was walking by myself when I noticed an elderly woman carrying six
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plastic grocery bags, three in each arthritic hand. I decided to ask her if
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she needed any help, but she answered my question by calling me a punk-
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teenager, and that she was fine. It was a bit cliche' to ask, I know, but I
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really just wanted to help. Had it been a forty year old woman, I wouldn't
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have asked. Had it been a forty year old woman with arthritis, I would
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have. Then again, I shouldn't have assumed that her disfigured hands were
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arthritis-ridden, but you know. I didn't know what made me come off as a
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punk-teenager, either. Was it my knee-length, black woolen coat, my oddly-
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colored running shoes, or the fact that I have more than one earring in each
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ear?
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When I got home, I chose to watch some television before making
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dinner. The TV turned onto a commercial for a local restaurant. The mascot
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was an animated chicken, dancing blissfully around the buffet, telling me
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that kids under 12 eat for free at their restaurant. Scenes of happy
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parents and children and relatives and friends munching on chicken legs,
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chicken breast, whole chickens, and chicken noodle soup. The commercial
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that followed the chicken ad was for Shake 'N Bake. Two pigs in a pig pen
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were discussing how Shake 'N Bake now made a mix for pork chops. The
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worried pigs made "moo" sounds, trying to throw off the farmers that would
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send them to the slaughterhouse. I didn't know if I was the only person on
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the planet who thought those two commercials were repulsive, so I asked my
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sister. She giggled, and said that it's cute seeing animals that talk, like
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in "Babe". I ended that discussion and made myself a hamburger. It's not
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like I was going to resort to vegetarianism because of two commercials.
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So there I was, lying in bed, hoping that a V-1 rocket wouldn't run
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out of gas over my house tonight, when-
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No, that's not how it went at all. I went to sleep that night
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without any worries that dealt with life and/or death.
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I went to the grocery store a few days later to buy supper. My
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grandmother refused to pay for anything relating to me until I paid her the
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sixty dollars I owed on the phone bill. I picked up a box of Betty Crocker
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Butter 'N Herb mashed potatoes, broccoli, and a box of Kraft Deluxe Macaroni
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& Cheese. I was living it up tonight; no cheap Kraft Dinner for me. I also
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picked up a bottle of water. When the French girl at the cash register ran
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up my stuff, she gave me a rather surprised look when she noticed I was
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paying with my ATM card. I didn't really know why, there were signs in
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French everywhere that said the ATM purchase limit was five dollars. The
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character '5' is the same in English and in French. The total had come to
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$8.74. She asked me if I wanted to withdraw any extra cash, which I didn't.
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The look she gave me could've killed a small child. I didn't realize then
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how wrong of me if was to charge my $8.74 purchase with my ATM card when the
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minimum charge was $5. That was very uncalled for.
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One day soon after the ATM fiasco, I went into a small cafe', got a
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cup of tea, and sat town to read a free local paper. It was more of an
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old-persons' cafe'. It wasn't chic or trendy. The woman who served me wore
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a pink polyster dress and a white apron. I was thankful her caked-on
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make-up didn't fall off into my tea, for it might've caused a chemical
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erruption. Two police officers approached me while I sat on the stool and
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drank my tea. I was somewhat worried as to why, however I wasn't committing
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any crimes that day, so I thought I was safe. The officer asked me how much
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I'd paid for my cup of tea, which I replied "ninety-nine cents". One of
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them said I couldn't get much for a buck these days, and I agreed. The
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other officer cheerfully chimed in that I could make a fifteen minute
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phonecall across Canada for a buck, if I dialed 10-10-321. The woman who
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worked the cash felt the need to join in, for she could not believe that
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anyone could make a fifteen minute phonecall across Canada for a buck. The
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officer then explained that with 10-10-321, any call under fifteen minutes
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is just a buck, then ten cents a minute for each additional minute. We all
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laughed contently, and went our own ways.
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That night I listened as the motor-like sound of the V-1 rockets
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passed over my town. The noises grew louder, but that was normal as they
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flew over the house. The buzz would hopefully deteriorate soon. Sadly for
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us, though, the noise suddenly died, right over my house.
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #675 - WRITTEN BY: ANONGIRL - 6/9/99 ]
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