70 lines
3.6 KiB
Plaintext
70 lines
3.6 KiB
Plaintext
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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #661
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`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
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888 888 888 888 888 "An Open Letter to HOE"
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888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
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888 888 888 888 888 " by AIDS
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888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 5/31/99
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o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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Jarett Kobek
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211 Thompson Street, Apt #GLE
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New York, NY
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10012
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May 20th, 1999
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To Whom It May Concern:
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It is with a shameful sadness that I write this letter to you.
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Members of the HOE Community, I have openly wronged you. Yea, even as I
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was doing it, I knew that I was committing a horrible error, but still I
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went through with it, hoping that perhaps it would be as bad as everyone
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told me. Still, I did it, and now I must deal with the consequences of my
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actions.
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The purpose of this letter is to apologize to everyone else, who
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must also deal with the consequences of my actions. It is an unfair
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imposition on both your emotional and intellectual cognitive functions,
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and for that I am sorry. I never really meant to hurt any of you.
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Perhaps you wonder of which I speak.
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Of course, I can only be referring to the induction of Unrelated
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into HOE. He is a full fledged member because of me. I personally
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demanded that Mogel make him a member. It is my fault that we shall
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forever be deluged with his witty commentaries on the American youth scene,
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particularly centered on East Chitlun Switch, Iowa. It is my fault that we
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shall forever suffer under the hideous yoke of files that discuss Trends,
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Hipness, What It Means to Be Truly Cool (With Apologies to Henry Winkler),
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Marilyn Manson, Why Rap Sucks, Why Black People Need to Learn English,
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Why I'm Not Racist Even Though Black People Need to Learn English, Why
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Christianity is Stupid (With Apologies to Negativland), Why It's Fucked Up
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That People Keep Stealing My Backpack and Using It for a Toilet, Society is
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Pretty Stupid, People Are Stupid, People Are Jerks, Isn't it Fucked How
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People at The Mall Suck?, Trends, Hipness, What It Means to Be Truly Cool
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(With Apologies to Henry James), Twiggy Ramierez, Why Rap Blows, Why Black
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People Need to Get Jobs, Why I'm Not Racist Even Though I Oppose a Decadent
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and Wasteful Welfare System, Why EYEHATEGOD.TXT, Why It's Fucked Up That
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People Keep Mistaking My Face for a Toilet, People REALLY are Stupid,
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People REALLY are Jerks, and, of course, the perennial favorite, Isn't It
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Fucked How the Mall BLOWS?
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I feel a lot like Hindenburg when he heard that Hitler really won
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the elections. The SA are at our door, the VisiGOTH hordes are outside of
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Rome, and Unrelated is running unchecked, and there's nothing we can do to
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stop him.
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At the very least, dear fellows, take this as a minor consolation
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prize. I am humbled before you, humbled before my own idiocy, and humbled
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before God, (who, by the way, I hear sucks pretty bad.) I am,
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Sincerely Yours,
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Jarett Kobek
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #661 - WRITTEN BY: AIDS - 5/31/99 ]
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