70 lines
3.2 KiB
Plaintext
70 lines
3.2 KiB
Plaintext
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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #647
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`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
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888 888 888 888 888 "dream you."
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888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
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888 888 888 888 888 " by The Jester
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888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 5/17/99
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o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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it is getting late, early, what is the difference? no change in
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the end. futility, futility, futility.
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the difference is you. you make my mental health matter, baby. it
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isn't fun to be depressed when someone cares. tell me that you care. talk
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to me. you make me alive, make me live. make me see the light, i'm still
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blind.
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prozac can only take me so far... here. i'm here, prozac was there.
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i can't let you take over my life. i am determined to be strong, i will be
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strong, i must be strong. determination. hahahaha.
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nothing is possible when i think of you. i momentarily freeze. i'm
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always frozen. when did we last speak? when did i last see you? october.
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fuck you october. haha. i have no aggression. i am a pussy. haha.
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let us see. october, november, december, january, february, march,
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april. 7 months. 7 months since i last had contact with you. 1 month
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before that, 2 years before that. rather ironic. i've thought about you
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the whole time. i haven't called. i am a pussy. haha.
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maybe i am just scarred. i think i love you but i fear the after
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affects. i fear the repercussions. i think i want to love you but i don't
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think i know (nor want to know) what love (and hate) are. do you know? i
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bet you do. i bet you have loved a lot of people. i bet a lot of people
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loved you. what is the difference? futility, futility, futility.
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i could love you but i don't think it could be likewise, at least
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at the same time. what do i know? i don't know you. i don't know me.
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do you know me? no one knows me. i am a sheltered little hermit in the
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cold. you don't know me. love doesn't know me.
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beep. beep. beep. bee.....p.
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5:50? it is already bright red 5:50? i just went to bed nine and
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one half hours ago. i want to sleep forever. i don't want to face an
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uncertain tomorrow. i don't want to face a tomorrow and not see you. you
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do not want to face a today with me. you would have told me if you had
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wanted a today with me. you are more straight forward than i am. you
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aren't a pussy. i am a pussy.
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i can't face any days to come with a smile. i can try.
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futility, futility, futility.
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why am i such a pussy? maybe you do want to talk to me? why can't
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i write a letter? give a call? show up at your door? i loved you four
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years ago, you loved me four years ago. did we know love four years ago?
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do we know love now?
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i will wait for love. i am a pussy.
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will you?
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futility, futility, futility.
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #647 - WRITTEN BY: THE JESTER - 5/17/99 ]
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