83 lines
4.6 KiB
Plaintext
83 lines
4.6 KiB
Plaintext
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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #629
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`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
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888 888 888 888 888 "A Point of View"
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888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
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888 888 888 888 888 " by Anilos
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888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 5/9/99
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o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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I was in my creative writing class minding my own business when the
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teacher had the AUDACITY to assign our class something, an assignment?! In
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school?!? a class assignment no less?! This horrible travesty really cut
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my psyche deep down but I readily obliged, I took an article and rewrote it
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in my own twisted way. I decided I might as well type it out for you nice,
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caring, sensitive people. The first half is the original article, the last
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half is my interpretation and rewritten article...
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HBO telecast of "Titanic" sets record (New York Daily News).
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The biggest movie of all time is now also the most watched telecast
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this season on HBO. Saturday night's telecast of "Titanic" averaged 8.6
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million viewers, more than watched any other show on the pay-cabler this TV
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year. HBO is wired into 28.7 million homes. Until Saturday, the Trinidad-
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Whitaker championship fight was HBO's most watched program of '98-'99,
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averaging 7.1 million viewers.
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HBO's most watched big screen movie this season was "US Marshals"
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with 6.3 million viewers. The initial airing of the much heralded season
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finale of "The Sopranos" drew 5.2 million setsiders.`Within HBO homes,
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"Titanic" drew a whopping 32 percent of the 18-49 year old viewers. In the
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national universe of 99.4 million TV homes, that translates to 13 percent
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of the 18-49 crowd, tying NBC's "Pretender" as the most watched TV show of
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the night in the advertiser desired viewing group.
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Factored into last week's primtime rankings for the broadcast
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networks (which reach more than 3 times as many homes as HBO), "Titanic"
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would have finished No. 68.
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Now, it's my turn...
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HBO telecast of "Titanic" sets mass murder record.
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The biggest, most redundant, expensive and annoyingly predictable
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movie of all time is now the biggest, most redundant, expensive, annoyingly
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predictable AND only telecast this season on HBO to incite mass murder /
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suicide. Saturday night's telecast of "Titanic" averaged 7 million viewers,
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that think that Jack/Rose is real. 1 million suicides, caused by horrible
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acting and overwhelming despair, and .6 million acts of homicide, caused
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just by knowing that the movie is still prominent in everyone's mind. More
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than any other show on cable this TV year... aside from the Monica
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Lewinsky / Barbara Walters interview (dear god I just wanted to jump out
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of a building seeing that for only 10 seconds). HBO is plugged into the
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back of 28.7 million american's heads.
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Until Saturday the Trinidad-Whitaker championship farce was HBO's
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biggest waste of time for '98-'99 averaging 7.1 million disappointed
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viewers. HBO's most watched big screen, poorly written movie this season
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was "US Marshals" with 6.3 million viewers, half of which desperately
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waited in vain for Wesley Snipes to be killed, hopefully along with his
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acting career. The initial airing of the much heralded season finale of
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"The Sopranos" drew 5.3 million viewers, most of which were dillusional
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teenagers thinking the TV-MA rating it has guarenteed lots of nudity, while
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at the same time wondering "What he hell does the title have to do with the
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show anyway?"
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Within HBO homes "Titanic" drew a relatively lameass 32 percent of
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the 18-49 year old viewers. In the national universe of statistical
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nonsense it equates to some supposedly staggering figures, somehow. The
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statistics did show however that it became tied with the equally ridiculous
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show "Pretender" as the most watched show while wishing to be comatose, in
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the advertiser-desired viewing group. The advertisers, of course being
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medical companies and HMO's.
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Factored into last week's primtime rankings for the broadcast
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networks (AKA "Destroyers of intelligent though, breeders of
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superficiality"). "Titanic" would have finished no. 68 which essentially
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means this article was a waste of time because the damn movie didn't even
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make the top 50.
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #629 - WRITTEN BY: ANILOS - 5/9/99 ]
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