81 lines
4.1 KiB
Plaintext
81 lines
4.1 KiB
Plaintext
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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #594
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`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
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888 888 888 888 888 "The Night I Killed Eilien"
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888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
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888 888 888 888 888 " by Oregano
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888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 4/24/99
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o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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On the night I killed Eilien the car would not start. No gas.
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Eilien did not put gas in the car. Fine, I can accept that. I wasn't
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angry. I'm never angry, the car wouldn't run and I couldn't go to 7-11
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for a burrito, that is fine, we had macaroni and cheese in the fridge.
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No need for anger, just reason. I needed only to heat it up and stir out
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the clumps. Not all the clumps would have come out. I was not angry at
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Eilien for two-day old macaroni and cheese. Though with a running car I
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could have a simple burrito from 7-11. I am not mad; I was not mad then.
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I found an empty gas can and I started to walk to the Texaco. It
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is not that far and I really didn't mind. Eilien offered to go get the
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gas herself. She sure did, she could go to the gas station and tell the
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attendant she was getting gas for her boyfriend's car, walking alone a
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night while he was home eating macaroni and cheese. Sure, I could have let
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her do that and let her talk about the next day and all the next week. I
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could let her embarass me in front of friends.
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But she never told anyone the next day. I got the gas myself. And
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she was dead.
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I could not believe there could be so many stars. I looked up as I
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walked to the Texaco, empty road and me and stars. Not a single car
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passed. Three miles walking and not a single car.
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There were too many stars, like you are given a certian number of
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stars each day and if you don't look up they carry over to the next day and
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there are that many more stars. They were all out that night.
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I used a brick.
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I joked with the Texaco guy. Women are so stupid, har har; look
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what my girl did to me, har har. I laughed but I could hear Eilien
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laughing. I could hear her tell her mother, "Guess what I did yesterday?
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"Yes! He walked three miles there then three miles back. I can make
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him do all sorts of things, I just have to dream them up, what do I want
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him to do next?
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"No, he wasn't even mad."
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When I got home I wanted answers to questions I could not form. She
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laughed and held my face, "What I put you through." Then she laughed some
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more.
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I got in the car to drive to the Texaco station to fill up the tank.
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As I passed all the places where I just walked, I also passed the all
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thoughts I had. The confusion and the defeat and the resignation. Except
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now I was going so fast that I could not process them, they all came
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together and at hit me at once.
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Eilien was in another room when I got home, a room where I should
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not have heard her, but I still knew she was laughing, I knew she was on
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the phone with her friends.
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I walked around and around and then I headed to that room. I had a
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brick in my hand but I know I never picked one up.
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She didn't scream, she laughed instead. She laughed more as the
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brick struck home, hard against her head and her blood laughed as it
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sprayed the wall, making patterns of merriment; and the deep-red puddle
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laughed as it formed under her head and everything was laughing and then I
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noticed that I was laughing too. I finally got the joke.
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I found myself outside. I was sitting on the front stairs. There
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was no brick. I don't remember any brick. All I know is that I wasn't
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laughing. I looked up in the sky. Some sort of storm must have been
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coming. I couldn't see any stars.
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #594 - WRITTEN BY: OREGANO - 4/24/99 ]
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