69 lines
4.1 KiB
Plaintext
69 lines
4.1 KiB
Plaintext
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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #585
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`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
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888 888 888 888 888 "Satire On The Truth About Men"
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888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
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888 888 888 888 888 " by Effy
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888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 4/21/99
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o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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What is it about men that makes them constantly have to put on a
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macho facade? Granted, this is not true for all of their kind, but sadly
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enough, there seems to be an epidemic among men that makes them think in
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order to function in society, they have to be "all that and then some."
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The typical male in this day and age has several values: their muscles
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("how much can you bench?"), their beer ("how much can you drink; can you
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hold your liquor?"), and their sports ("you wanna bet on that?").
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Unfortunately, it may not be exaggeration to resolve to the conclusion
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that all the kind, sensitive, caring men that women spend their whole
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lives looking for are looking for boyfriends, not girlfriends.
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What ever happened to the dashing knights on horseback in shining
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armor that came to rescue their ladies out of dire love and respect for
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their goddess-like feminity, shouting proudly, "Don't worry m'lady, I'll
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rescue you!" in a debonair, dashing accent? The 90's version of this
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could be summarized by characterizing this hero in a low rider with a
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stereo system worth more than the vehicle itself. The hero drives up to
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the women of his attention and pulls to the side of the road as she's
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walking by, but this time smoke is rolling out of the windows as he
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belches loudly and pats the passenger seat, saying while winking
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suggestively, "Hey baby, want a lift?"
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Of course, many feminist types wouldn't want men thinking they
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could "rescue" them anyone. Female nature is changing also, and becoming
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increasingly independent. Women no longer swoon at the sight of blood or
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cling to their heroes as tragedy strikes. Now women are neural surgeons
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slapping and cursing their husbands in the delivery room as they give
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birth to children, screaming "Look what you did to me, you fucking
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asshole!" to their heroes...needless to say, women do appreciate the
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protective, masculine role that men play so well, but in general, why do
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men feel the need to overdo it? Does it only make women want to become
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more independent? Why can't men settle for a happy medium? Why must they
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assume that, because they think they're put on this earth to rule over
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women, they're right and they know everything?
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Why is it that men can't be loyal either? It seems they can go
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through women as if they were trying on new pairs of pants. All women
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want is to be loved and not tossed aside like dirty laundry when a new
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"chick" comes along. We need an antidote for this problem, this disease,
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this epidemic...we need a cure before the entire 49% of the world
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population start stretching the stereotypes to the maximum! If a woman
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were told to say the first things that came to mind at the mention of the
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word men, it wouldn't be unlikely for her to list such attributes as
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"simple" and "one-track-minded" and "cheating" and "lying" and
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"chauvenistic"; as well as mentioning a love of fast cars, beer, stereo
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equipment, and sports (especially football). And on the other side of the
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spectrum, wouldn't men most likely describe their ideal woman as "hot,"
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"sexy," "helpless," "overly emotional," and "complicated"? Men are stuck
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back in the ice ages when it comes to this. It's about time women started
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dragging MEN back to the cave by their hair. Maybe it would teach them a
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valuable lesson.
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Wow, how can men and women be so different?
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The world may never know.
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #585 - WRITTEN BY: EFFY - 4/21/99 ]
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