115 lines
4.6 KiB
Plaintext
115 lines
4.6 KiB
Plaintext
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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #583
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`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
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888 888 888 888 888 "IRC is Better Than
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888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8 Stand Up Comedians"
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888 888 888 888 888 "
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888 888 `88b d88' 888 o by Granny [4/21/99]
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o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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EFnet IRC is the best place to hear the stupidest and/or funniest
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things. I heartily recommend the warez and mp3 channels for massive
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amounts of comedy through stupidity. The technical channels also have
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fairly large amounts of stupidity and comedy. Here are some examples, with
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commentary and/or translation:
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EXAMPLE: BATHROOM HUMOR
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<^CoSMiC^> my dog farts
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<fireBANE> i kicked his ass
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<fireBANE> ^cosmic^: so does mine
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<fireBANE> [n]as: our dog just scratches his ass on the carpet
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<^CoSMiC^> but my dogs farts smells
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<fireBANE> i know this dog that when he farts.. he clears a whole house
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<[n]as> hehe just blame it on the dog
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<fireBANE> its the red meat they feed him
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<fireBANE> they feed him lots of moose bear and deer
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<[n]as> oh yeah my dog just scratchs his ass not wipes it
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(COMMENTARY: Here is a classic but very original case of bathroom
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humor. What makes it so unique is that the dog is fed moose, bear, and
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deer. If a human ate a lot of moose, bear, and deer would they fart too?)
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EXAMPLE: INTERNETWORKING
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<Xcheet0s> why does ATM taunt me so
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<Xcheet0s> GO AWAY
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<kaleido> atm is of the devil
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<kaleido> thats why
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<kaleido> he's tempting you
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<kaleido> taunting you
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<kaleido> you must believe in the lord and his name is SONET
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(TRANSLATION: ATM stinks, use SONET. COMMENTARY: Where else other
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than the IRC can you find internetworking tidbits/heuristics in poetic
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form?)
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EXAMPLE: GEEK COMPUTING
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<ET_Turbo> pimp they dont make ide? come on f00
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<PIMPdatHO> they dont buttnutt, they r total scsi
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<ET_Turbo> ill wager my left asscheek
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<PIMPdatHO> I'll wager both my nutz
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<PIMPdatHO> if u got an ide product by plextor, someone really put the
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cheese move on ya
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(TRANSLATION: Plextor does not make IDE hard drives, only SCSI
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drives. I will wager my family jewels on it.)
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EXAMPLE: LAMERS
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1 VillMan is back. for more...lag...lameness...and net*cough*sex
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(TRANSLATION: My internet connection is slow, which makes my
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left hand and I very lame.)
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2. <LoCoNeT> ok....To the First one Who Gives me The 128Kbs Version of
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Ricky MArtin -- Livin La Vida Loca ...i will give him/her ...
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a *kiss* ;0
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(TRANSLATION: I am a lamer who leeches and I have nothing to trade
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for the Ricky Martin mp3.)
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3. <sou1jah> frickin.. i wish i didn't have to goto the bar to get ass..
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<sou1jah> <--- is the Godfather of Irc
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<sou1jah> <--- Was the Godfather of Rap mp3s..
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(TRANSLATION: I am another lamer who stays on the IRC for long
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periods of time with my left hand.)
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EXAMPLE: MISCALENOUS
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1. <fireBANE> man this song has some bass to it.. wow
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<fireBANE> these little pecker speakers are bottoming out
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(TRANSLATION: My speakers can't handle the bass of this mp3.)
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2. * djmousie opens a can of cream corn and smears it all over his nutz and
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then sets it on fire...
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<djmousie> yah!!
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<ET_Turbo> is that shit flammable ehehheh
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<djmousie> yes very
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<ET_Turbo> cream corn?
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<MET_Turbo> is that a cooking aid?
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<]{oruPt> don't you eat that
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<]{oruPt> fuck i'm not eating that again
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(TRANSLATION: Cream corn is flammable, use with caution.)
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3. <sarai6568> Pamela Anderson squirms like CRAZY when Tommy Lee licks
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between her legs with his large TONGUE. Also watch her get
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jammed from his LONG HARD ROD, see her down all of his
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juice while sucking him off, see Pam play with Herself.
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It's soo close you can see right up inside of her! These
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are MOVIES, as if you were in the same room with them! Yep,
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if you are an Adult, you can get them FREE at
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http://www.xxxxxxxxxxxx.com
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(TRANSLATION: We are a lame pr0n site and the best we can do is try
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to sell the Pamela and Tommy Lee stolen tapes, which everyone has seen
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already anyway.)
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[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #583 - WRITTEN BY: GRANNY - 4/21/99 ]
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