86 lines
5.3 KiB
Plaintext
86 lines
5.3 KiB
Plaintext
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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #546
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`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
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888 888 888 888 888 "Nobody Loves a Dishwasher"
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888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
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888 888 888 888 888 " by Unrelated
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888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 4/3/99
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o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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I have been trying to find a job for about the past month or so.
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Almost everyday, well, once a week, I'd get up and go out and put in
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applications looking for work. Well, there's a Holiday Inn downtown where
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I live and I had put in an application about three weeks previous, and I
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would go and check on it every 3 or 4 days. Whenever I went in the
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manager had always been busy, well, not last Thursday. They had lost my
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application but went and got the manager for the kicthen. I was hired as
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a dishwasher on the spot, I started Monday.
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My first day there went by extremely fast. When I first got there
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the first employee I met started searing about something to do with a
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customer. The next people I met were the managers who all seemed to be
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high on coke or something because they all said nice to meet you and "how's
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it going?" like I had known them for 5 years with their plastic smiles and
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"frilly" grins. And when I actually got into the kitchen, I found out that
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the garbage disposal was busted and we had to use a garbage can, the actual
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dishwasher had to be shut off every 5 minutes or so because something's
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screwy with it, and everyone was making fun of the dishwasher who had been
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there for 6 years. "He kind of reminds me forrest gump on speed".
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The second day there about halfway through the day one of the
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waitressess had ultra sound pictures of her unborn fetus. *DISGUSTING*.
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I had mentioned that birth was repulsive and made me nautious. She
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replied something like "IT's a Beutiful and Natural thing!!!" rather
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vehemently. Then, Randy, gump on speed, started asking if he could be the
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godfather, or if that she'd name the kid after him. I also asked if I
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could be the godfather, but nobody heard me. I overheard the pregnant
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waitress talking about the dirty little fetus most likely being a boy.
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So, I asked, a little louder this time, "could I be there, you know, with
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a catchers mit and a baseball bat."
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The third day, Wed., I got bitched at because I was slow, well,
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dammit, I had a right to be. I hadn't been to bed at all that night and
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was extremely tired. Nothing exciting really happened until the end of the
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day when I had went downstairs to take out the garbage, FUN FUN! (I'm
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being sarcastic here). As it should be, the damn bag wieghed about 75 or
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more pounds, so when I finally got it out of the actual can, and over to
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the dumpster, BAM!, everything tore out of the bottom and all over the
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ground and my bots. The funny thing is, this was GREAAT!!! (again, being
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sarcastic). No shovel, no brrom, just a small dustpan to clean up the
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whole mess....
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Now, today, well, it started off fine you know, every day bull shit,
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except, as I failed to mention previoiusly, anything that went wrong, was
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the dishwashers fault, and because I'm the new guy, I get bitched at about
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everything. Where's the ice scooper? Change the water, can you get this
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for me, have you seen this? do you know and blah blah blah blah..... Well,
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after about an hour after I was there the cook (female) and another
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waitress (the pregnant one) came up and said, "hey, your zippers down.
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Now, I thought this kind of odd seeing how I WAS WEARING AN APRON, and of
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course they both started laughing. I felt moronic. I did however get it
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later, they were checking me out when I checked my zipper, SEXUAL
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HARRASSMENT!! Then, about another hour or so later they asked me if I
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knew where my back pocket was, they again just wanted to check out a part
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of my anatomy. I said, you just want to check out my ass, and they both
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(the cook and the pregnant one) started laughing. Oh yeah, and between
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those two comments the cook said sexual harrassment is the best
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harrassment. Can't argue with that, so, in reply, rather loudly not
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realizing the manager was only 15ft away from me I asked the pregnant one
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"So, what color are your nipples, pink, or brown?"
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She asked "WHAT?!" I looked over saw the manager, and thought,
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"shit." *0$# "Come with me, now!" I went into his office and he yelled
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at me about sexual harrassment, not beating kids in the delivery romm with
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baseball bats or talking about it, and being slow the day before. I
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explained to him the comment, being dead ass tired, and how they had
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started it. Good thing I have the day off tomorrow. No one even
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acknowledges my pressence there anymore. I even over heard various people
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whispering the "sexually explicit comment" I had made. They all hate me
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and it only took 4 days... it at least took "gump on speed" 6 years...
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Those lonely dishwasher blues, or should I say pink or browns...
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #546 - WRITTEN BY: UNRELATED - 4/3/99 ]
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