94 lines
5.3 KiB
Plaintext
94 lines
5.3 KiB
Plaintext
[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
|
|
ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #540
|
|
`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
|
|
888 888 888 888 888 "When Yesterday Was Tomorrow"
|
|
888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
|
|
888 888 888 888 888 " by AIDS
|
|
888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 3/27/99
|
|
o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
|
|
[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
|
|
|
|
Why is it that every bitch in HOE, under their calm veneer of
|
|
mockery and mischief, is actually a wellspring of deep emotional current?
|
|
(PAGANINI, of course, is except by virtue of not being a HOE BITCH, but
|
|
rather an AIM one.) Why beneath all innocuous surfaces are there fiery
|
|
tempests of rage and neglect? And why, as one who enjoys all sorts of
|
|
emotion, do I find it reprehensible? Why are you all so fucking sorry?
|
|
|
|
I think we've got to analyze the nature of this particular emotion
|
|
against the emotion that drives such things as GREAT ART, CONSTRUCTIVE
|
|
BEHAVIOR, etc., etc. Why is a self-indulgent file by meenk bemoaning how
|
|
bad her parents were worse than Samuel Butler's _Way of All Flesh_; why is
|
|
a letter from Styx to some dippy broad stupider than _Adolphe_? Aren't
|
|
they driven by the same types of emotion? Aren't they fueled by similar
|
|
sorts of injuries?
|
|
|
|
What's the difference? Is there one? Where is it? What is it?
|
|
Will I ever write a sentence again? Who knows? What's there? How are
|
|
you? When did you get here? That's a very nice bike! You can ride it if
|
|
you like! It's got a bell, it rings, and things to make it look nice!
|
|
I'd give it you but I borrowed it. I've got a mouse named Gerrold.
|
|
|
|
Anyhoo, I think when we look at something like _The Way of All
|
|
Flesh_, by someone who was very cleared wounded, deeply, by his parents,
|
|
we get a sense that, yes, there is the same exhibitionism here that we
|
|
find in HOE files, no question, but that there's something more. It's as
|
|
if the emotional current that Butler taps into isn't simply /his own/, but
|
|
as if he's tapped into the much deeper waters of the collective human
|
|
experience.
|
|
|
|
It's the difference between a shallow pond and the Marinas Trench.
|
|
|
|
Because Butler is abstracted from the text, and here is the
|
|
impartial writer, we are allowed to see the actions of the overbearing
|
|
parents in an objective light. We are not force fed a perception that
|
|
otherwise could not be commonly shared. We are allowed to see things in a
|
|
relatively clear light.
|
|
|
|
And please, don't mistake me here, I'm not trying to imply that this
|
|
is the case with all good writing. I just think there's an important
|
|
contrast between this and Meenk's epic work on Mom & Pop, the dynamic
|
|
fucked up duo, two sets of work which say the exact same thing: Isn't it
|
|
god damned terrible how I was raised?
|
|
|
|
In Meenk's HOE files, we find a source of emotion, but it is the
|
|
emotion of the ego, the self-contained universe. And worse yet, unlike
|
|
Butler, who was clearly try to undergo a catharsis and PURGE himself of
|
|
these emotions, Meenk seems to be in love with the fact that this excess
|
|
baggage of childhood turmoil allows her to produce such candied prose.
|
|
The words are dripping with this emotion, and such, the prose has a slick
|
|
feel to it, and the subtext is this: "HERE I AM. I HAVE BEEN HURT. I
|
|
HAVE BEEN HURT. HERE I AM. BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN HURT, I AM GIVEN LICENSE
|
|
TO BECOME AN EXHIBITIONIST AND WRITE THIS NONSENSE, AND IN TURN HURT YOU.
|
|
ABUSE IS A CYCLE. TELETYPE DID ME. I HAVE BEEN HURT. HERE I AM..."
|
|
All the files blend into one, because they're all broadcasting the same
|
|
message.
|
|
|
|
(And please, don't mistake me here, I /like/ Meenk. This isn't a
|
|
personal attack on her, just on the general effect of giving someone a
|
|
workspace in which they can wax poetic about the fucked up shit that has
|
|
happened to them in life. Nor is this HOE specific. It's as if there a
|
|
satelitte boradcasting this type of emotion on to the earth, and when
|
|
people get in front of vi, joe, jed, Microsoft Word, Wordpad, WordPerfect,
|
|
or notepad their brains immediately tune into it and it forces them to
|
|
produce files like this. Meenk is no exception. You are all guilty,
|
|
swine. All of you are culpable in the eyes of God, and you will all burn
|
|
in Hell.)
|
|
|
|
From reading HOE alone, I occasionally wonder if perhaps I am an
|
|
android or alien, or some equally awful science fiction cliche, because I
|
|
am lacking this baseline of self-indulgent personal emotion. Or maybe I'm
|
|
just an idiot incapable of understanding the softer aspects of humanity,
|
|
the vulnerability. Or maybe I'm in denial and need to undergo Janov's
|
|
Primal Scream therapy, or maybe I'm just a perl script that lacks
|
|
self-awareness or modification, and I can't escape this emotionless rut
|
|
that I'm build for myself with arrays and hashes.
|
|
|
|
But whatever it is, I'm glad I can recognize this trash for what
|
|
is. And I'm glad that my programming doesn't allow me to produce it.
|
|
|
|
Take it for what it's worth.
|
|
|
|
[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
|
|
[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #540 - WRITTEN BY: AIDS - 3/27/99 ]
|