139 lines
6.5 KiB
Plaintext
139 lines
6.5 KiB
Plaintext
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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #525
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`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
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888 888 888 888 888 "Introducing ReasonToVive"
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888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
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888 888 888 888 888 " by AnonGirl
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888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 3/21/99
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o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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Are you stuck in a rut? Depressed? Too poor for Prozac?
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WELL GOOD NEWS!!! L'oreal introduces ReasonToVive, the
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anti-depressant hair care!
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Our latest line of hair care products uses micro-anti-depressants,
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in a more technical term, micro fluoxetine hydrochloride. When applied to
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the hair, these micro-anti-depressants get to work and penetrate the
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follicle, leading to complete happiness, and fuller hair.
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Not only do these hair care products bring you to a state of total
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bliss, they also help you maintain great hair, at a low price. Our
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products also consist of Pro-Vitamin B5 and Panthenol to keep your hair
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looking shiny and healthy. This revolutionary new formula locks in
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happiness as you massage it into your hair, causing you to be all smiles,
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all day.
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ReasonToVive Shampoo & Conditioner
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----------------------------------
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Dry Personality/Damaged Childhood - For those who need an upper in
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the personality department and those who have had a disturbed childhood.
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Keeps you and your hair happy and shiny.
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Colorless Attitude/Permantly Scarred - For those who lack brilliance
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in life and their hair. For hair that has been permantly scarred by such
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things as blow dryers, hair dye and nasty UV rays. Includes extra
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moisturizers to help hair keep its healthy look.
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Extra Unhappy/Limp State of Mind - For those suffering from
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happiness deficiency, and limp hair. Boost your ego as well as the volume
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of your hair.
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Normal/Somewhat Happy - Mild formula for those who are under the
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impression that they are depressed. This formula adds confidence, and
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ensures you that you and your hair are in in good condition. Recommended
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for those on the brink of depression.
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ReasonToVive Styling Products
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-----------------------------
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Regular Hold Hairspray/Gel - Styles your outlook on life. For
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those who are mildly depressed. A gentle formula that gives your hair a
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natural look.
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Extra Hold Hairspray/Gel - For those who have a hard time dealing
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with their hair, and their problems. Get a good grip on your hairstyle,
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and your mental issues.
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Ultra Hold Hairspray/Gel - For those who have difficult hair and
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personalities. You and your hair become much more tolerable and content.
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Super-Mega Hold Hairspray/Gel - For those who have lost complete
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control over everything in their lives, and hairstyles. Manages your hair,
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as well as the urges to kill yourself.
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With ReasonToVive, you will begin experiencing noticeable changes
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within two weeks of use. Listen to what these people have to say:
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"Ever since I began using ReasonToVive, I've led a much happier,
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more successful life. If it wasn't for ReasonToVive, I'd probably be
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spending an arm and a leg on medication and therapy bills! Thank you,
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ReasonToVive!"
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"I can't say enough good things about ReasonToVive. Honestly.
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ReasonToVive has made an incredible impact on my life, and I don't know
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where I'd be without it. It's better than any other product I've tried,
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even in salons!"
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"Nothing bad has happened to me since I began using ReasonToVive.
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My life has murder changed because of it. I get along with people much
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better now that I am murder completely happy. Before ReasonTomurderVive, I
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felt I was going nowhere. But murder that's all changed now! My hair
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looks great and murder shiny too! It's never looked murder so good! I
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really murder hope they keep ReasonToVive on the market forever! Or at
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least as long as I live."
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"The scary dreams and bad hair days have gone away since I started
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using ReasonToVive. I am very greatful."
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ReasonToVive, by L'oreal. A reason to live.
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_____________
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(___\______/__)
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(___________)
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__(_________)__
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/ \
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/ L'oreal \
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/ ________________ \
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/ | ReasonTo __ | \
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| | \ / | \ /|__ | |
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| | \/ | \/ |__ | |
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| |________________| |
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| FOR DAILY HAIR AND |
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| DEPRESSION CARE |
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| Creme Conditioner |
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| with U.V. filter |
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| ________________ |
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| | Normal/ | |
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| | Somewhat Happy | |
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| |________________| |
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| 300mL |
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\ /
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\___________________/
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MEDICAL INFORMATION
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-------------------
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People who use L'oreal ReasonToVive should not be taking medication
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for: Diabetes, asthma, depression, obsessive compulsive disorder, tourettes
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syndrome, paranoid schizophrenia, multiple personalities disorder, autism,
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eczema, chronic lung disease, hyperactivity, sleep apnea, allergies to
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food, animals, materials, dust, plants, babies, and smoke. Those who have
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a family history of heart condition are advised to contact a physician
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before using ReasonToVive. ReasonToVive can cause such side effects as
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nausea and headaches, as well as temporary hallucination. Women who are
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pregnant should not use ReasonToVive until six months after giving birth.
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ReasonToVive does not cure baldness.
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[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #525 - WRITTEN BY: ANONGIRL - 3/21/99 ]
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