134 lines
7.9 KiB
Plaintext
134 lines
7.9 KiB
Plaintext
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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #523
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`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
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888 888 888 888 888 "Memories with Pink-Floyd"
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888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
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888 888 888 888 888 " by Ashtray Heart
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888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 3/21/99
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o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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One thing that amuses me is pondering the sheer number of kooks who
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attach themselves to the rock band "Pink Floyd". Let me tell you about
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some I've seen.
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* Rob "Space Ace" Hulsart. As best I can tell, his angle is that
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Pink Floyd, and Dark Side of the Moon, are conected to the "face
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on Mars", and that the Floyd are harbingers of extraterrestrial
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intelligence.
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* "Fat Chants". This strange soul believes that not only was Pink
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Floyd's tireless drug advocacy so suppressed by "The Man" that
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they had to resort to oblique symbolism, but that the Floyd were
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rock and roll's standard bearers of the Crowleyan occult movement.
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His primary source for this is the lyric "Green fields, a cold
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rain is falling in a golden dawn", from a very nice, bucolic, and
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utterly obscure Pink Floyd song, "A Pillow Of Winds", from their
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_Meddle_ album. "Golden Dawn" happens to be the name of an occult
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tradition, FYI.
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* Stan. He runs the self-proclaimed "MOST IMPORTANT MUSIC SITE ON
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THE NET!" (caps his). What he's trying to say is sort of
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nebulous, but he apparently believes there is a giant conspiracy,
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hinted at by almost every rock and roll band in existence, to
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replace all TRUE fans of the progressive rock band "Camel" with
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mind-controlled alien clones. In this vision, obscure US prog
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group Happy the Man are linked to pornographers are linked to
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Brave Combo are linked to "Weird Al" Yankovic are linked to Pink
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Floyd, via of course the synch between Dark Side of the Moon and
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the Wizard of Oz. Which brings us to...
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* Andrew Wendland, "the Synch Master". This Australian chap
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believes that the ultimate truth about reality is revealed by
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listening to Pink Floyd albums while watching movies apparently
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chosen at random, and he will scorn as a heretic anybody who tries
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to convince him otherwise.
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* Denise Sharpe. The queen of all kooks, and the only one here to
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inspire an entire "FAQ" -- actually in this case FUQ, but you get
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the drift. She believes that the last, decidedly humdrum, Pink
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Floyd album, "The Division Bell", was part of a series of personal
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messages from Pink Floyd guitar player Dave Gilmour, who is either
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madly in love with her or out to make her life hell, depending on
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which day you catch her on. She also believes Gilmour has
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communicated with her through a number of other means, including
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the TV show "The Simpsons" and, most notably, by inserting green
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hats in selected boxes of "Lucky Charms" cereal. What else has
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Gilmour told her? Mostly that prog-rock drummer Carl Palmer, of
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the recently defunct (finally!) band Emerson, Lake, and Palmer,
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is gay, and is involved in a relationship with Sting. Why Sting?
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As far as I can ascertain, because Sting's wife is "ugly".
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Denise is one of many to have latched onto a very bizarre and
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disturbing series of conspiracies known collectively as the "Publius
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Enigma". The source of this "Enigma" has never been revealed, but the
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best guess thus far is that it was started by a member of Pink Floyd or
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someone close to them as a joke -- a joke that has long since been
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abandoned. Basically, an anonymous poster using anon.penet.fi started
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hinting at hidden profound meanings to the band's last album, "The Division
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Bell", shortly after its release in 1994. Floyd fans, sick of the lyrical
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vapidity that had been the Floyd's trademark since lyricist & bassist
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Roger Waters departed in 1983, eagerly grabbed on to the chance that the
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album's lyrics might not actually be as colossally STUPID as they seemed.
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When the predictions of "Publius", the anon poster, were validated during
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Floyd's stage show, interest in the Enigma rose to record levels.
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But nothing more came of it. Publius trailed off into silence, and
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eventually the server he used was shut down by the Scientologists.
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Imposters, none credible, popped up to fill the void. Gradually, the sane
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fans lost interest.
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That still left quite a few fans, however. Aside from the
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aforementioned Denise, a few kooks popped up with a uniquely religious
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take on the Enigma.
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Voluminous bible quotations in toe, Norm (his last name eludes me
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for the moment) put forth the theory that the Enigma was closely related
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to the coming apocalypse, and the prize none other than the kingdom of
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heaven. Witih his Fundamentalist Christian take on things, he went over
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with a bang in the generally blasphemous Floyd newsgroup. Compared to
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others, though, Norm appeared a paragon of sanity.
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Not so Sandra "Sandy" Benson. With the help of a few others, she
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perpetrated a massive fraud on credulous Enigma followers stunning in its
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audaciousness and, for a time, its successfulness.
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Sandy set herself up as an alternative to the loudmouthed,
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irreverent, and aggressively casual fans on the Floyd newsgroup (motto:
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"They're just a fucking rock and roll band."). Sandy offered an ordered
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and polite vision of Floyd fandom -- one that respected new possibilities
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instead of skeptically mocking them, and one that, most tellingly,
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conformed nicely to the Puritan ideal. Those tired of being made fun of
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for their interests could repair to her strictly regulated outpost, where,
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if you gave sufficient adulation and awe to Sandy, you would be welcomed
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as one of the True Believers.
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Her message? Gilmour had become a devoted Christian, and was
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working on a new album and tour that minute! All lies, of course -- but
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like the Enigma, she was saying what the fans wanted to hear. However, she
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couldn't -- and didn't have the sense to -- vanish at the height of her
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popularity, unlike Publius. She also couldn't back up her claims.
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Eventually, Sandy began making more and more outlandish claims -- and
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demands. When pressed, she offered only the flimsiest evidence to support
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her claims, and even that evidence was faked. Badly. She started
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claiming that Gilmour regularly flew across the Atlantic in his
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single-engine plane to visit her. She provided a signature -- forged --
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and a soundfile of a new "Pink Floyd" song recorded by someone who couldn't
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even tune a fucking guitar. With claims that ridiculous, it was only a
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matter of time before her fall.
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So what is it that draws so many freaks, motherfuckers, and
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undifferentiated lunatics to Pink Floyd? Part of it is the music. Any
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band of that stature -- the Beatles, Led Zeppelin -- is bound to draw its
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share of kooks. Hell, the Bech Boys attracted Charles Manson. Music is a
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window to the soul, something that touches us where nothing else can, and
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it is easy for the lost and forlorn of this world to interpret it as
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something more. Part of it is the subject matter -- Pink Floyd have always
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been closely aligned with madness. So, then, it is not difficult to see
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how the cracked might see an affinity with their music. Part of it will
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simply remain a mystery -- unquantifiable, never meant to be touched by
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human minds. So it must be, so it shall be. Pass me my toothbrush.
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #523, WRITTEN BY: ASHTRAY HEART - 3/21/99 ]
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