101 lines
5.5 KiB
Plaintext
101 lines
5.5 KiB
Plaintext
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'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #476 !!
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#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
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##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "Dubuque Hoes" !!
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##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Phairgirl !!
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..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 2/3/99 !!
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!!========================================================================!!
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Another thrilling night out at Perkins with the Dubuque, Iowa
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elite crew. We were putting 319 on the map, baby. Josh, Steve (M4D 3LF),
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and I dumped the Pokemon out onto the table and began hitting them
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maniacally with Pokeballs. The fat Pikachu wouldn't fall over!!!!
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ARRRGH!!! Josh randomly spit his coffee all over the table and managed
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to throw Poliwhirl into my cup of coffee. Little children flocked to our
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table to watch us play. Alas, our time had to end; there were greater
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adventures awaiting us, on the other side of the rainbow.
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We sit around Steve's empty basement, staring at the Apple color
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monitor corded up to the VCR crackheadedly watching Pokemon reruns. Ash
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and Pikachu are searching for firewood in the forest, and Ash calls out,
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"Here, firewood firewood firewood." Oh man. That was a kneeslapper,
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baby. I LOVE THAT SHIT, BABY!!!
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Josh wondered the night before if he could join h0e. I told him
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he had to WRITE THINGS. Of course, that would be easier if he had a
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computer, or even regular access to one. He pulled out a psychotically
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deluded poem a la Shel Silverstien, and I applauded his efforts. I gave
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him Ziego's address, which, naturally, I carry with me in my pocket,
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right next to my Pikachu. I told him I could hook him up. Then he asked
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me if I could lend him $150 so he wouldn't be homeless.
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Josh checked out Meenk's profile on Steve's laptop. He thought
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she was pretty hot. I told him to beware, she was one of those goth
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chicks. He smiled, that goofy smile he has. Smiling always looks silly
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on a face with no eyebrows. Hell, he hadn't even bothered to draw in any
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tonight.
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Steve was happy, he finally got himself h00k3d uP with a h0e
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profile. And, look, he had a file released. And so did I.
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WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
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I was all bitchy. Come to find out today, it was just PMS. Man,
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PMS sucks. I mean, REAL PMS, not that pretend fake PMS that comes in a
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yellow box with black letters that women with mental problems pretend to
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have for 3 weeks a month. Still, even in my momentary insanity, I stayed
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cool. I was CHILLIN.
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I went to work on one hour of sleep. Josh starts working with me
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on Saturday. Mike, at work, was asking me if he should write for h0e. I
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told him I didn't care, just as long as if he sucked, he didn't associate
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me with his stupid ass. He was smiling as I once again reached past my
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Pikachu for Ziego's address. I suddenly envisioned myself in a purple
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zoot suit. Or if nothing else, my *purple nigger* shirt. Oh man.
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Nothing names a shirt better than watching PBS specials about people with
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tourette's syndrome who start chanting that familiar phrase when a
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gigantically enormous black guy in a purple sweater enters that branch of
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her local bank.
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*INSERT LUST-RIDDEN SIGH*
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We had four people in the drive-thru ask for Whoppers today. This
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is usually a bi-monthly occurrence or so; I concluded some evil forces of
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stupidity were randomly smacking our menu boards as to cause extreme
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havoc on the other side of the headsets. Nobody yelled at me today. My
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co-workers and I all agreed that second-hand sex toys were to be avoided.
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Once home, I was going to sleep, but the fun never ends in Dubuque.
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Steve assumed I really was going to try and catch up on some sleep. Silly
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mortal. Josh called me to come over and make a Vampire character for
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Saturday's game. I was sleepy. I decided to sleep after all.
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IT RAINED A LOT AND IT WAS WET EVERYWHERE AND IT WAS SCARY WHEN I
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SLID DOWN THE HILLLLLLLLLL
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Josh was really fucking sick. We sat around bullshitting for a
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bunch of hours. He looked like he was recovering from two black eyes. I
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didn't make that character because my brain wasn't working right from
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lack of sleep and his ancient stack of MAD magazines were utterly
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fascinating me. I commented to Josh that I was glad he had a girlfriend,
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because then I felt much more comfortable knowing we had a non-sexual
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relationship. It was beautiful; tears rushed to my eyes and flooded the
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room. Or maybe they didn't. I don't remember all too well anymore. It
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might have just been a cat rushing to my eyes. There are three of them,
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you know.
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I'm really tired. I smile, all docile and somewhat stupidly, and
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wonder if my brother would mind if I submitted his journal entries as a
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super de dooper killer t-file. I like the part when he says that he can
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talk to me about his problems because he has no fear of me telling other
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people, because I am a loser and I have no friends. Well, you know what
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I have to say about THAT.
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Pi..... Ka....... CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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!!========================================================================!!
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!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #476, WRITTEN BY: PHAIRGIRL - 2/3/99 !!
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