75 lines
4.4 KiB
Plaintext
75 lines
4.4 KiB
Plaintext
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'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #465 !!
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#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
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##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "Urges of Sexual Gratification" !!
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##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Miasma !!
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..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 1/27/99 !!
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!!========================================================================!!
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I don't exactly have any form with this thing... it hasn't been
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thought out and planned and all that good stuff. It's more of a rant
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than anything... but I'm trying to make a statement so I guess it'll
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have to do. The subject i'd like to discuss with you all today is that
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of urges for sexual gratification.
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See, it's 2 days before I go back to college, this being the
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second part of my freshman year. I knew college would be this great
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force that would direct and change how I felt about myself, others, and
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things in general. However, it didn't do this the way I thought it
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would. I tend to find myself a respectable young man... I have my own
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morals, and years of depression have caused me to be introspective and
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highly analytical. I don't smoke, don't really drink, and don't do any
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drugs. I'm a good little boy... I used to think that nice guys finish
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last. Anyhow, let me get back to the topic.. urges of sexual
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gratification.
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See. This past semester, I've hooked up with 5 separate females.
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Lemme define 'hooked up' since I've found that different parts of the
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world consider this different things. To me, hooking up is usually
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going at least a little passed kissing. Now, before this little episode
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up at college, I had only fooled around with like 2-3 other individuals.
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The fact that I fooled around with 5 separate females actually bothers
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me.
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I used to have very low self-esteem. Was very insecure about my
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body, hell.. I wouldn't go swimming in florida because I disliked
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taking off my shirt. But now I'm cool with it. Hell, I'm close to
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posing nude. Why? Because an attractive female wanted me, physically.
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I think that's pretty sick. I was always one who wanted relationships,
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you see. I never had a relationship. Something that was on equal terms,
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where you saw eye to eye and you enjoyed the company you had. Everything
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I did I did because I caused it to happen. Hell, when I was 14 I got my
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first kiss because I was thinking "hey, I'm 14.. and I haven't really
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kissed a girl yet.. what the fuck?!". So what did I do? I went out..
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found a girl that was attracted to me.. and after awhile we kissed.
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Didn't mean much. Bleh. This is getting into more of a confession than
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an article. Let me try to steer this back to topic once again.
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Why is it that we have this urge for sexual gratification? Even
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when our conscious minds want a relationship. I see frat parties going
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on where females will actually make a job of it to sleep with as many
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men as they can that night. Fuck, that's sick. And what about the
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guys? Same goal. The whole purpose of frat parties is to have an excuse
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to get people under the influence so you can score with as many people as
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possible. Sick fucking shit.
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Is the instant gratification so powerful that we cannot control
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ourselves? And the fact that even instant gratification is received that
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we desire more of it... why does this now plague me? I felt I was secure
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in this area. I thought it was simple to control this urge to just 'hook
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up'.. because we all realize that it doesn't mean anything the next day.
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What scares me the most is that I don't see the harm in hooking up.
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If its just physical, and both persons participating know this.. then
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what is the problem? The answer 'because it doesnt mean anything' just
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doesn't do it for me anymore. Now if I don't believe its wrong.. why do
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I have this inherit feeling that I shouldn't be doing it.. 'it doesnt
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mean anything' .. 'so fucking what' I reply to that. *sigh*... mebbe
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this is just a cry for help instead of an article.
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!!========================================================================!!
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!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #465, WRITTEN BY: MIASMA - 1/27/99 !!
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