68 lines
3.9 KiB
Plaintext
68 lines
3.9 KiB
Plaintext
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'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #417 !!
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#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
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##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "That Silly Dog" !!
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##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Trilobyte !!
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..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 1/10/99 !!
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!!========================================================================!!
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i used to be rastafarian, but then i changed my ways. i took
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off the multicolored hat of my homeland, i dyed my skin a color akin
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to peachish white, and moved away from reggae and ska musics. i grew
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to like other things in life, there are so many other things besides
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the daily ritual of smoking ganja and loving allah. there's also
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growing pot, making love to the wimmen, buying hashish... i moved to
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san francisco, land of the rice things and streetcars, and forded
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myself a stream across the bloody rivers of the bastioned american
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workforce. but all of a sudden, my black facial hair started to grow
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uncontrollably. one second i'd shave, and a few minutes later i'd have
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a full dreaded beard. it gave away my identity and all the
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leather-wearing alligator gay homosexual men would throw me out of the
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streetcars and out into the roads of the streets.
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i was down and dejected and depressed and demoralized and
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detoxed. so i went to find my reefer. i went into a drug store but
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they only had aspirin and these chia pet things, and some old women
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selling make-up, which i don't wear, because it doesn't complement my
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complexion. well, no more than the darned flourescent lights do. i
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went outside and found a dog, which i picked up and put in my coat.
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"what is a former rastafarian without a dog?" i ask, but nobody answers.
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nobody is listening. it is as if i am playing really bad music in a
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crowded room. nobody listens to it but nobody tells me to shut up
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because they're afraid someone else is listening and the wouldn't want
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to make a really bad impression. you know.
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my eyes became bloodhsot for no reason. i hadn't been smoking
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up. i looked around at all the storefronts, there were non that
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interested me. i scurried over to the italian restaurant to smoke me
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some basil. it smelled like basil, it tasted like basil, it probably
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was basil, but doggonit, if that stuff wasn't marijuana! i was more
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happy at that moment than during the whole rest of my time in san
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francisco. it was time to find love. girls aren't just plastered to
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walls of buildings, one has to subvert one's self past the typical
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methods of lubrication in order to find unfettered harlots.
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i found one. inside the dog.
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"come out, fair maiden, i will make you whole," i spoke to the
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rear of the dog. i could see her in there.
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she breathed a great sigh and came out of the dog. the dog
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split open because she was much, much bigger than he. in fact, her
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breast alone was the size of a medium-sized schnauzer, yum! i took her
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to the drug store to get her some clothing and to clean the dog parts
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off of her. i picked up one of the old women working there and wiped
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off my woman with it. it wasn't happy about being used as a brush, but
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then again, i wouldn't be either. i stepped on it and broke it apart
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and threw it at things and knocked them over and knocked up my woman and
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now all that was left was to find allah.
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oh, wait, damnit, allah was the dog. isn't that quite a
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catch-22. damn.
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!!========================================================================!!
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!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #417, WRITTEN BY: TRILOBYTE - 1/10/99 !!
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