115 lines
5.9 KiB
Plaintext
115 lines
5.9 KiB
Plaintext
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'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #391 !!
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#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
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##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "plaZa auTomatIon" !!
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##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Trilobyte !!
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..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 12/28/98 !!
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!!========================================================================!!
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Where's the pooty-tat? Where's the pooty-tat? Where's the
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pooty-tat? I taught I taw a pooty-tat. Oh, it's inside my phone.
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C'mere, phone. You're a good phone, you've never done me wrong. For
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as long as I've had you, which has only been so long, you've been good
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to me and haven't let me down. The phone company pours electricity
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through the phone lines. If I put you underwater in a big bathtub and
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you were next to my head, would I get electrocuted? I love, love, love
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you, phone! I love you.
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I love other things; I love the stars at night and I love
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sticking my tongue to tasty things and I like to beat you, phone, beat
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you into metal walls.
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We used to have more metal walls around here, me and Metra, but
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see, they were lead-based, and when we gave birth to you we were afraid
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you might lick them and get sick. After all, we coated them with rabbit
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feces. I like to return books to the library because I feel like I have
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a purpose. When I return them on time, I feel like a good kid, and I
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know the librarians respect me. Think of how many important books may
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have been lost from important libraries because some dingbat checked
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them out and never returned them. There shouldn't be a swinging door
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for those sorts of people. It should just go one way. A one-way road
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into a room full of punishment, where all they can do is lick things all
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day. They can lick themselves until their skin goes raw or they can lick
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the walls and get sick of lead poisoning, like mom -- good 'ol mom,
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baking her iron-supplemented chocolate cookies. My friends would always
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have christmas cookies with fake sugar-coated metallic balls on them.
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Their moms made them. Well, my lovely mother (I love the woman!) she put
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real ball bearings on them thinking that we could eat them all and we all
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got sick and shit out ball bearings. When I get bad intestinal gas, I
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can bend over and my ass is like a Daisy BB gun. Look out Martha Stewart.
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I could cook culinary delights for french stalwarts of Egyptian
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theatre. The tops of the pyramids are not comfortable to sit on, for
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members of either sex. Sure, the pointy top of the pyramids have all
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worn away over the years, but still, you're awfully high up and it is an
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uncomfortable climb and I used to be buried in one of those pyramid
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things but then I got out because the light shone on me in just the
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correct way. god loves me, because god loves everyone (even you) and I
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am part of everyone (and so are you). Where's my phone?
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I have to go downstairs and use the payphone.
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Hold on.
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...
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Haha. I went down stairs to use the payphone and realized my
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good loving phone was in my hand! What a kind phone, to appear in my
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hand right when I need it most. What else could I ask for in a
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companion? Now only if the people I talked to on the phone were
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actually decent people worthy of spending my time with me. I should
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stop spending my time and start selling it.
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But then cheap ass bastards like Smoki would never come round no
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more. He liked the smorgasbord in Madison, WI when we went up there to
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have his fur removed. He was a nice creature until his fur got all
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chopped off and you could see his skin and it was so bad. I think he
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was part dove, horse, and sea anemone. I could be wrong.
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It's time for my daily calculus exercise. I like to look
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literate when I write these, you know. I feel like I'm touching a
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woman's skin as I type this to you. The keyboard feels like a woman's
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skin. Womens' skin is good. Women are good. I like Women.
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Calculus. Woman. Calc -- I will go dress up, I say, and I got
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dressed and went outside and HEY I've got boobs now. I always get
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violated with them. Between people looking at them and old men groping
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them, I never know what to do.
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"when ever you come around i'm a walkin' on shaky ground"
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that's how you make me feel -- you make me want to shake the
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ground. I want to go through the throes of personal and fulfulling love
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with you, my angel, my poopheart, my fucking blistery fungus. mmm.
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I will melt wax on your stomach and then cut it off with a sharp
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knife.
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I will chew on your hair and scalp until your whole head is gooey
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with my thick saliva.
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I will squeeze your thigh until my hands have kneaded the fat
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enough that it will slink down your leg and come out between your big
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toe and its toenail.
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I will pinch your nipple nine times and then subtract 3 so it's
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6. 6 times a lady. Then you're done.
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This time it's for real. Let's party. Put on the hat, it's not
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over yet. Strap down. Get a drink. Don't shoot me. Shoot him! Ha ha,
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I laugh at your antics for you are a silly person, you do silly things
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that often I command you to do because if I didn't tell you silly things
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to do you would never do anything silly and that would be boring! It is
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advantageous to know every thing you're going to do before you do it.
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And it's amazing that you fall for it every time. You are a dumb whore.
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!!========================================================================!!
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!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #391 - WRITTEN BY: TRILOBYTE - 12/28/98 !!
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