69 lines
3.9 KiB
Plaintext
69 lines
3.9 KiB
Plaintext
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'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #389 !!
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#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
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##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "Electrifying Discoveries On Alcohol" !!
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##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Anjee !!
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..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 12/28/98 !!
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!!========================================================================!!
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"You can get the same effect that you get from sticking your
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tongue in a plug than you do when you drink 50% alcohol."
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"Great, I feel like shoving my tongue in a plug now."
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I can't help it, but I really do. The world practically revolves
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around sex and alcohol, and alcohol isn't something I can easily provide
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for myself, nor am I capable of tolerating the awful taste it leaves in
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my mouth after taking that dreaded shooter glass and even worse -- the
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next morning. It all seems like the perfect solution for my case, but
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are the after effects as bad as when you drink liquor? If I so
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violently ram my tongue into the plug in the wall on a regular basis,
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will my liver deteriorate after a while? I believe scientists should
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conduct a few tests on this, and besides, I think it would look
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incredibly cool to see a few men and women in white coats crouched in
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front of the wall, ready to send electricity waves throughout their
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bodies.
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So, my dad's friend does in fact have some kind of expertise
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when it comes to alcohol, but I don't know if he actually tried it. I
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forgot to ask him, I suppose. The conversation itself didn't last all
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that long, as I quickly turned to ranting and raving about the book my
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father had bought me and showing him my sister's talking Elmo.
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Discarding questions such as "does it, too, make you walk all weird,
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feel dizzy and type all nutty on IRC?". I felt that he would get fed
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up if I dwelled on the subject and pursued my smartassed comments and
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questions about a topic he obviously brought up to last for only a few
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seconds and hopefully extract a few laughs and giggles from it. And
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besides, I don't believe he has any clue what IRC is.
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I also begun to wonder if Albert Einstein was researching on
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this subject, for obvious reasons. It all seems too coincidental since
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he was a smart dude and alcohol is not the way to come to accurate and
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precise solutions for whatever he would work on. I think it's his
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hair that gives it away though. So, possibilities are that he has
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researched on it, however, has refused to discuss and share his new
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discoveries with the world. A breakthrough such as this would more
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than likely change how bars and clubs, and corner stores and strip
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joints and alcohol stores operated - they may even end up going out
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of business. Houses would be filled with plugs, which would be
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extremely harmful for babies and toddlers, and other things along
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those lines.
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So all this newfound information has left me curious about it
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all, I am that kind of person. Maybe sticking your tongue in a plug is
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indeed the closest thing to downing a few shooters of 50% alcohol, but
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I feel my questions will forever remain unanswered and ignored. Although,
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if you ever end up testing this, please inform me! I am eager to get some
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answers! In addition, I feel pressured to add that I am not responsible
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for any deaths or handicaps that come as a result to reading this
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t-file. I feel like I am getting extremely repetitive, so I will now
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disappear for the sake of your mental and physical well-being.
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uh, *BZZZZT*... YAY!#%$
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!!========================================================================!!
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!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #389 - WRITTEN BY: ANJEE - 12/28/98 !!
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