50 lines
2.9 KiB
Plaintext
50 lines
2.9 KiB
Plaintext
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'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #354 !!
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#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
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##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "The Chair" !!
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##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Deadpan !!
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..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 12/16/98 !!
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!!========================================================================!!
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I used to have a really horrible chair where I work. When I
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first started working here, I was told that it was a status thing, and
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that as soon as I had been here a while I could get a better one. This
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is obviously a plot by the Man (notice, not The Man, which is me, but
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the Man, which is just one aspect of the Illuminati, agents of order
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and oppression. I mean, it would be pretty silly for me to oppress
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myself.. infact, when I do things of that type, I don't 'oppress' I
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dominate. I dominate for Grene. I also digress.) to oppress me, keep
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me down. Keep me uncomfortable. And Short. It's wrong. I knew that I
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would be working for the Man when I started here, but I did not realize
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how soon I would be forced into discomfort, nor for how long.
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The chair was horrible. It had a metal frame with orange
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padding glued/nailed on to it in places that I know were specifically
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devised by Redd to confuse the sitter. You never knew where you were
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supposed to be. The padding was this stiff vinyl stuff that made sure
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that you could not stay in any given spot, just slide around alot,
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gouging your ass on the rips in the cushions. The rips in the cushions.
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Oh Goddess. The Rips. Horrible gashes in the vinyl like covering, that
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can tear through denim like it's warm butter. With a strange mesh of
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cotton glued to the inside of the vinyl, to drag across your wounds,
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doubtlessly infecting them with all sorts of hell-chair afflictions. I
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have nightmares about those gashes to this day. And despite the fact
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that the hell cushions were glued AND nailed on the chair, it still
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managed to slide around, it almost seemed like it tried to avoid the
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boniest parts of my posterior, pushing them onto the ever comfortable
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metal frame... grr. I hated that chair. grr. I'm too overcome with the
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pain of this memory.
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At any rate, I endured. Getting paid silly amounts of money will
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encourage behavior like that. I now have a nice, comfy chair that has
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rollers and leans back, and even has a comfy tweed like seat cushion.
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Life in the seat is good.
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My initials spell SAT.
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!!========================================================================!!
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!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #354 - WRITTEN BY: DEADPAN - 12/16/98 !!
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