65 lines
3.6 KiB
Plaintext
65 lines
3.6 KiB
Plaintext
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'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #332 !!
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#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
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##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "It's JUICE!" !!
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##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> AnonGirl !!
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..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 12/11/98 !!
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!!========================================================================!!
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Being a girl always trying to find new forms of "mind expansion",
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I tend to seek out different forms of mind altering substances a lot. I
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like to try new things. Sometimes ones that aren't even harmful to the
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health. Most of the time, yes, the substances I stumble upon are
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illegal, but hey, who gives a shit?
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One hot afternoon, I found myself in serious need of liquids. My
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mouth had been terribly dry, not just from the heat, and I felt like I
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was going to DIE if I didn't get something to drink, fast. I dragged
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myself to the nearest convenience store and headed straight for the
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drinks section. I decided I wasn't in a Coke mood, so I checked out the
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fruit juices.
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Looking through the glass, I began to get paranoid. Funky-labeled
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bottles of drinks called "uVo" and "Fruitopia" were staring back at me.
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I started wondering if the juices were related to my state of mind.
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Names such as "Pink Lemonade Euphoria", "Tangerine Wavelength" and
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"Random Architecture of Grape Strawberry Nubility" were all written on
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the labels, describing the flavour of the drink. I grabbed a "Fruit
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Punch Orgy" and headed for the cash, completely confused. I asked the
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cashier if the label actually said "Fruit Punch Orgy", just to be sure I
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wasn't completely out of my mind. She assured me that the label in fact
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read "Fruit Punch Orgy". I downed my Fruit Punch Orgy and quenched my
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undying thirst. I didn't experience any sort of group sex, but I wasn't
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thirsty anymore.
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The next day, in a more clear-headed state of mind, I went back to
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the store to make sure I didn't hallucinate the trippy juice names.
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Surely enough, the names remained the same. I bought a "Pink Lemonade
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Euphoria" for kicks, and discovered that it was just Pink Lemonade. I
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didn't trip out into some crazy high where everywhere I looked was a
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kaleidoscope of fruits and crazy harps playing everywhere with angels
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floating around singing. Sure it tasted good, but it was nothing close
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to euphoric!
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Over time I tried to understand better this wave of "Fruit
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Awareness". I wanted to try Aunty Goethe's Peachy-Mango Love Pain, but I
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didn't know who this Aunty Goethe was and what kind of pain she'd be
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into. So I went with "Passion Fruit Awareness". Again, I didn't become
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One with the Juice, it didn't take me to a higher state of being, and I
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certainly wasn't taken into some awesome euphoria.
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After trying several different Intuitions, Euphorias, Orgies and
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Confusions, I realized that these were all just plain fruit drinks with
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fUnKy NaMeS. They were tangy and fruity yes, but they were no different
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than any other fruit drink I've had.
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So. Maybe once people start becoming more Advertizing-Scam
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Alert, and less Aware of the passion fruit, they'll realize that they've
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all been had.
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!!========================================================================!!
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!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #332 - WRITTEN BY: ANONGIRL - 12/11/98 !!
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