64 lines
3.6 KiB
Plaintext
64 lines
3.6 KiB
Plaintext
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'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #317 !!
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#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
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##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "HOE Supports Teleconferences" !!
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##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Tasha !!
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..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 12/9/98 !!
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!!========================================================================!!
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About 20 seconds after you connect to IRC, and join #ezines, if
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you're one of the elite that write text files and actually join #ezines,
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you will get a message that says something along the lines of:
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"conf! # - 8881234567 ID - 898765."
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Do not worry, it's not some secret meeting to take over the world,
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and even if it was, the h0e staff could not takeover the world, we've all
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been captured! Anyway, this is just a number to join a teleconference.
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We love teleconferences, yes we do! But before you fall for one of these
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innocent-sounding, multi-person phone conversations, maybe you should
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know a few things.
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On a h0e teleconference, we do not talk about h0e, well, except
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for Mogel, who tells everyone to write something. There will always be a
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quick rehash of last night's wrestling, and if you didn't watch, don't
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say it, because you will be instantly deemed as lame, or sucky, or some
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other negative adjective the h0e staff likes to use.
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Then, around 2am, everyone will say "man, I need to go to sleep,
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wait, let me check what classes I have tomorrow. Oh, nevermind, I just
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have the class where we learn the meaning of life...and I know what that
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is already...it's anal sex!" "warez warez warez warez warez warez warez
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warez warez." So, after deciding that sleep is not needed, there will be
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more pointless conversation, which will always end up involving various
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webpages with content such as, "She failed 9th grade, she's not out of
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high school yet!" Then, everyone will giggle, and go look at the
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webpage. And in the midst of all this giggling, someone will have the
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positively great idea to pretend they are Satan, or maybe the leadsinger
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of Limp Bizkit.
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Caution: That is a damn good impression of Limp Bizkit (Kreid),
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but it sucks even more than the actual singer/band/whatever.
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And after we all giggle more at the lovely impersonation, someone
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(read: SwissPope) will make some odd comment merely for shock value, and
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all the girls will giggle, like all proper girls do. Then, there will be
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a comment about SwissPope "mackin' on the ladies," or something, and out
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of nowhere you will hear, "douchebag."
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Yes, you thought douchebag wasn't said anymore in 1998, but you
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were wrong. "Shut the fuck up, douchebag," "I feel a h0e file comin'
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from that one!", "will it be about ANAL SEX?" "shut up, the girls are
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trying to talk to each other...what was that (insert name of the wrong
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girl who said something here)," "no, the other girl said that," "you all
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sound the fucking same," "I smell a h0e file comin' from that one!" "I AM
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SATAN," "shut the fuck up, douchebag," "the girls are trying to talk to
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each other again, dude," "man, whenever I say represent I just end up
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sounding white."
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!!========================================================================!!
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!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #317 - WRITTEN BY: TASHA - 12/9/98 !!
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