117 lines
5.6 KiB
Plaintext
117 lines
5.6 KiB
Plaintext
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'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #316 !!
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#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
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##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "In The Beginning..." !!
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##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> AnonGirl !!
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..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 12/9/98 !!
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!!========================================================================!!
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In the beginning, there were only tools.
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Ax, Hammer, Wrench, Screwdriver, Screw, Nut, Bolt, and of
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course, Nail. They lived in harmony in the Garden of Wooden.
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Ax was the ruler of Wooden. He was fierce, yet noble. He was
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reasonable, but very foul-tempered. Everyone obeyed his every command,
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rational or not. Hammer was Ax's apprentice.
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One day, Nut and Bolt were discussing the theory of evolution
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over lunch when Screw walked by with her brother, Nail. Bolt invited
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the two to join them for lunch.
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"Don't invite that invalid over here!" Nut whispered to Bolt.
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"Whatever do you mean, brother?" Bolt asked.
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"That Nail is an absolute failure. If he sits with us the
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others will mock us for being in the company of an imbecile," Nut
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replied. But before Bolt could say anything Nail and Screw were
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already sitting with them.
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"So what have you been doing with yourself, Nail?" Nut asked
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slyly.
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"Oh, the usual.." Nail replied uneasily. After some casual
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conversation the 4 tools went their own way. Nut went to go help his
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fellow nuts secure some bolts, which was where Bolt went. Screw went
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home to her husband, Screwdriver, and Nail went to his small, one-room
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home. He had been upset lately because he felt very inadequate to his
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fellow tools. Everyone had an assigned tasks to perform, except him.
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He was a mistake to begin with. While his sister, Screw was being
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created, they had some extra steel afterwards, so they tried to make
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another screw. Unfortunately they only had enough to make the shape of
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a screw, but no grooves. The Creators could not discard him, for they
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did not believe in that aborting already-made tools. So they let him
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live, calling him Nail, the brother of Screw.
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The other screws did not like him, they thought of him as a
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mockery of their own shape. Screw loved her brother out of pity,
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because she knew he had heart, even if he didn't have a specific
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occupation. He tried to screw, bolt, even cut. Nothing worked, which
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made him very discouraged. He wasn't accepted by anyone except Screw.
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While trying to screw himself into the ground one day, Nail got
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stuck and cried for help. Nut and Wrench came running to see what was
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the matter.
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"I've managed to screw myself, and I'm stuck. Will you help me
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out?" Nail pleaded. Nut and Wrench looked at each other and started
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chuckling.
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"Everyone come see! Nail has managed to screw himself yet
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again!" Wrench called out to the other tools. And the other tools
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came running to see this display of sillyness. They pointed and
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laughed at him. Screw heard all the laughter and went to see what the
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commotion was about. She saw her poor brother stuck and immediately
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ran to his aid. She managed to pull him out of the ground, causing her
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to fall back. He helped her up, thanking his sister.
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"Look at you, you pathetic waste of metal. You need to call on
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your own sister to help you out of a bind. You're useless!" Wrench
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cried.
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"I was just trying to be a tool like everyone else," Nail
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argued. Hammer got angry at this comment.
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"You aren't a tool. You're not even a screw! You're a piece
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of junk. You're nothing! You will never be a tool!" Hammer cried.
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Everyone cheered at this.
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"Please, I know I can do something! If you'd all just give me
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a chance, really--" Nail begged. But before he could finish, the other
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tools began to push him around.
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"We'll put you to good use," Nut cracked, in a cruel voice.
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They began to taunt and tease Nail, calling him names and pushing him
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around. Screw tried to stop them, but Screwdriver held her back,
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telling her not to bother. Hammer told everyone to back off.
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"Let me have a go at him. This piece of junk is mine," he said.
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And with that, he pushed Nail up against a stack of wooden boards and
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hit him with his strongest blow. He didn't cry out or fall down. To
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their surprise, he plunged through the wooden boards, only his head
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showing. They stared at him for a while, wondering if he was okay.
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Screw broke free from her husband's hold and ran to Nail, nudging him
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lightly.
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"Nail? Are you okay?" she asked nervously.
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"I am fine. What's going on?" he asked. They figured he had
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a purpose after all. But they still had to get him out, somehow.
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They studied Nail's disposition for quite some time. Screw
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figured out that Hammer could use his head to help Nail out.
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Hammer pulled Nail out of the wall, and discovered he had a use
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for the prongs on the back of his head, which at first was a birth
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defect.
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The other tools, forever in his debt, celebrated Nail's newfound
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use by taking him out for drinks that same night.
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!!========================================================================!!
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!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #316 - WRITTEN BY: ANONGIRL - 12/9/98 !!
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