95 lines
5.3 KiB
Plaintext
95 lines
5.3 KiB
Plaintext
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'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #298 !!
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#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
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##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "Suffer the Children" !!
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##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Zaff !!
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..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 11/19/98 !!
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!!========================================================================!!
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"I kill children
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I like to see them die..."
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-- Dead Kennedys, I Kill Children
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You can hardly turn on the television anymore without seeing that
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some fat ugly sexually frustrated kid just hitting puberty, usually in
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Mississippi or one of the other states that just exist to give America
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a bad name in the global community, has gone and shot up a few of his
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classmates and teachers. Sometimes the kids even lay lethal traps,
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displaying more ingenuity than one would expect from such a creature.
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Perhaps if the ACT's added a section for paramilitary and militia
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tactics, the average score for the state of Arkansas would rise above
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the elusive 11 mark.
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And when little redneckins aren't shooting themselves and handy
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authority figures, some 10 year old ghetto defendant is on trial for
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wasting his 11 year old best friend with a semi-automatic weapon for
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disrespecting his bitch.
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Kids are just growing up so fast anymore.
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Many people are alarmed by all this violence, but I think a
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simple policy reform will channel all this ill-expressed frustration
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into positive action. I don't mean midnight basketball--the last thing
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we need to do is encourage still more young boys to become part of what
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is essentially a million dollar slave raquet/freak show. And now with
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the WNBA women are getting involved too, and why not. Girls are idiots
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too and a few of them can jump high.
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Nor am I advocating channeling this energy into artistic
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pursuits. What the world does not need is one more redneck writing
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about his life and times or about the struggles she went through
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growing up in the deep south. And as for the urban youth--god please,
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no more gangster rap. No more. (Note: The worst part about this
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manifestation of the Epichorean Muse is not the music, but the way women
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universally sway rhythmically when it is played. One can tune out the
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music, but to avoid the dancing one needs to either walk around with
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one's eyes closed or, better still, figure out a way to ram one's head
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up one's ass until the offending sight goes away.)
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No, the policy reform I advocate is a simple one. Arm the kids
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with reliable guns and teach them to shoot straight. Think of all the
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fun and goodness this would result in.
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In the first place, we have a ready pool from which to draw in
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the event of a war. Just by virtue of this system, anybdy who lives to
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be 18 or so can be assumed to be a damned good soldier. What, with Iraq
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being so mean to us, and the Russians getting pissy (and still armed
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with enough nukes to blow up the world some absurd # of times), with
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fools and madmen controlling the nukes in breakaway republics, China
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India and Pakistan all being what Kissinger might term "fuckstains"...
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well you get the point. A standing militia *is* necessary, after all,
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to the protection and maintenance of our nation.
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Secondly, we would finally have a fully armed proletarian. Class
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envy is alive and well today, when some kids have expensive clothes,
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computers and opportunities, while others have big hunks of poop that
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life gives them from which they can make, as the Red Meat comic strip
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suggests, poop juice. By the junior year of high school on, kids know
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who the privileged fucks are, and who the whiny sons of bitches with
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pseudoangst and nice warm homes and families to go back to are. I bet
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one or two of the poor and downtrodden and federally armed students will
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find interesting things to do with their guns and training. Control the
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means of production? Establish a government of the workers? Or just
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kill a few blonde haired Abercrombie and Fitch clad SOB's? I don't
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think you can go wrong.
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Oh, and there is a third benefit. See, if kids are armed,
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everybody is going to have to arm themselves well and learn to defend
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themselves. And the fat, ugly, misunderstood kids who go on shooting
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sprees in Arkansas and wherever else are the ones who are going to take
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the most risks. Most of them fancy themselves military minds and bodies
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anyway (despite the obvious fact that their girth and poor vision makes
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them fit only for permanent latrine duty). These kids are bound to take
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military risks and get killed in high numbers, ensuring fewer web pages
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overall and preventing any chance, however remote, that they might
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reproduce.
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So yes, arm the kids. Let them have their fun, boys will be boys
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after all. It can lead to nothing but goodness.
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!!========================================================================!!
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!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #298 - WRITTEN BY: ZAFF - 11/19/98 !!
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