73 lines
2.7 KiB
Plaintext
73 lines
2.7 KiB
Plaintext
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'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #294 !!
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#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
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##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "New Teenage Girl Magazine: Girl Vibe" !!
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##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Quarex !!
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..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 11/19/98 !!
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!!========================================================================!!
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Pages 1-284: Advertisements for the following products
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======================================================
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* "Pretty happy love bunny cutemagic sticker" home pregnancy tests.
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* "Make your hair look the same as every other fucking girl's" shampoo
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and conditioner.
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* "Please disregard my protruding fucking ribcage" dietary supplements.
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Preferred by 4 out of 5 goddamn useless bitches.
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* "Bloody Fucking Shit" tampons, tested better than Lightdays Longs in
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trials of 100 randomly selected marmosets.
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* "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" Feminine Napkins.
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And many miscellaneous nail polish ads.
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Page 285: Table of Contents
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===========================
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Is Your Cheating Boyfriend Really Worth Dumping pg. 286
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If He Has A Hot Ass?
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Why You Cannot Get Pregnant If He Cares About You pg. 290
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Pictures Of And Interview With Attractive Man Who pg. 296
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Will Be Dead And/Or Forgotten In Five Months
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Totally Embarassing Stories About Your Period pg. 302
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Girl Vibe Presents: Encouraging Story Of Triumph pg. 308
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Of Girl Over Troubling Situation Involving Heartache
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Quiz: Are You REALLY Into Hal Holbrook? pg. 314
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Preview: More Fashions You Would Have To Be A pg. 316
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Fucking Idiot To Find Appealing
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Girl Vibe Presents: Interview With pg. 320
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Extremely Sympathetic Figure
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Makeover Monthly: Looking More Plastic pg. 326
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Totally Embarassing Stories About Your Period pg. 330
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In A Classroom Situation
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The Importance Of Being Earnest pg. 334
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Ask Charles Darwin pg. 340
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A Crude Drawing By A Retarded Girl pg. 346
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Girl Vibe Presents: Advertisement Section pg. 348
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Next Month's Features Section pg. 84,310
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Back Cover: Large Mosaic Of Quarex, Lord Of Flies
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!!========================================================================!!
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!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #295 - WRITTEN BY: QUAREX - 11/19/98 !!
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