171 lines
8.9 KiB
Plaintext
171 lines
8.9 KiB
Plaintext
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'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTACY PRESS RELEASE #272 !!
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#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
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##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "Flip The 'Off' Switch" !!
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##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Charlie !!
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..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 11/6/98 !!
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!!========================================================================!!
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you know, for many years now i have been into computers.
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and i think in all of that time i have learned a very important
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lesson. and that is that if you can say that first sentence without fear of
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being ridiculed by hundreds of nameless losers who refuse to spell english
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correctly, think grammar is a foreign language, and can't give out their
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address without saying the word "dot", then you are still a real person.
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let's examine that first sentence, and see why it still represents
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what i would call normalcy, not sanity, because many people are sane, but i
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don't think too many people are normal.
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1. the word computer is used in its entirety and in a normal sentence.
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yes, that's right, i am not afraid of the word computer. that is
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what you people out there actually use. not tcp/ip, irc, d00dz, warez, or
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anything else you might want to call it. you are using a piece of
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engineering created by people who are way smarter than you and actually have
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the dedication and drive to create something so fantastic that no one would
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have ever thought of what it could accomplish. yet for some reason, you run
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away from the word that describes the object that gives you the power you so
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loudly proclaim as always being yours forever and that you can use it better
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than anyone else out there. get real.
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the computer is not a right. it is not communication. it is not
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freedom. it is a box with an awful lot of sand in it. but, not too many
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years ago an awful lot of people got together and came up with an awful lot
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of ideas, combined it with an awful lot of engineering, and created the box
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in front of you. be honest: you could never have done it. you would never
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have been able to conceive of it. yet you say that it is yours and you are
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the best at it. loser.
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i am proud of the fact that i can use a computer. and not just one. i
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can use many, of which they run many different things.
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i take pride in my ability.
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i take pride in teaching my knowledge to people who don't know it and
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want to know for the sake of learning.
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i take pride in my wanting to learn more about computers.
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i take pride in all i have taught and all i have learned, for all of
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life is learning. show me a man who has learned it all, and i will show you
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an empty shell of chemicals which cannot react to the world around it, just
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like the machine he claims to know.
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2. the sentence is grammatically correct (i think).
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ok, so i don't know for sure. i never really liked grammar, but i
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always respected it and the language it is based on. some of you, for some
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reason, seem to think that a language is nothing more that a bunch of words
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grouped into any order you think will convey the meaning you want. "me kool
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and k-rad, you phear me." not. anytime i see this sentence, i sigh, shake
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my head, and wonder what other lost soul out there wrote this and complains
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about how he can't get the latest equipment while he spends his time on his
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ass refusing to get a job because he doesn't want to be a part of the
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establishment and simply work to further the goals of the power-elite that
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he so desperately wants to be a part of but is too lazy to go out and work
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for it so he spends his time on his ass bitching and complaining to his
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friends who are just like him and in my humble motherfucking opinion are
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just eating up bandwidth that i could be using working on my latest idea
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that i'm following up on and i'd like to be able to videoconference with my
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partner but i can't because for some reason everything is running too
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fucking slow and i can't use my drive and determination to further the every
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society that you want furthered but only if you can do it while sitting at
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home in your pajamas typing on a keyboard that someone else built while you
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were in diapers.
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(okay, so the grammar is bad there, too.)
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3. i take pride in knowing about computers, i enjoy using them, but i can
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find the off switch.
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okay, real fast, how many steps does it take to turn off your
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computer? is it:
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(a) 5
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(b) off?
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(c) 1
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(d) depends on how many channels i'm on
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if you said anything but (c), you're fucked. let us examine the
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possible responses:
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(a) 5. the only reason why you should possibly be answering this is
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because you're a network admin who has to worry about the people he runs a
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network for. you work hard to maintain it and be efficient, and you
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actually care about the people who depend on you (note: this is reality.
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if you find caring for other users on a network a totally alien concept,
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jump out your window right now).
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(b) if you have no concept of the term off, (the state your computer
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was in when you bought it), you are fucked. you are one of those people who
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leave the computers on 24 hours a day because you never know when someone
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you want to flame will come on, or you have 20 bots running around that you
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have to keep an eye on, or you have 15 background jobs running kicking those
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stupid asses off the channels time and time again and you spend all your
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time sitting there smiling contemplating your eliteness while the world
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moves on around you without you and you complain about how you aren't
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getting a piece of the action. take the following steps now:
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1. find the big red switch in the front, and flip it down.
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or
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2. if unable to find big red switch, yank out plug from wall.
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your computer should now turn completely black and quiet, if this
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frightens you, it is okay. turn around, find the door, walk out, and
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experience the world. it's a lot more, fun, exciting, dangerous, and cruel
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than anything you can find in a box.
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(c) 1. this is the correct answer, or it should be me, for most
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people. there is one only true step, hitting the power button.
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(d) if you even contemplated this answer, you are gone. i'm sorry.
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delete this file (i doubt you even read this far anyway). go on with your
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pathetic excuse for a life, and just stay the fuck out of my way.
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no, i am not a republican. i am actually quite liberal.
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but in the many years that i have been hanging around bbs's and the
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internet, i have noticed a disturbing trend. there are many people out
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there who seem to think that they are the best, that no one is better than
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them, and that they should be able to rule the world simply because they
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have memorized some obscure programming language someone else wrote for them
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anyway. think, people. could you have come up with that os you're using
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right now? i doubt it. live!
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there is a real world out there people. think of it this way:
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4.3 billion years ago: earth formed.
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4.3 bya to 350 million years ago: life develops, man is evolved.
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350 mya to 10,000 ya: man develops, wheel is invented.
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7,000 ya: written language developed.
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500 ya: printing press developed.
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50 ya: computer developed.
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you idiots are claiming you rule a world only fifty years old. guess
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what was happening all that other time? no, it wasn't history that just
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happened, it was men and women going out, and getting the drive and
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determination to do something useful with their lives. they learned, they
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invented, they taught to others. if you can do that, and take pride in it,
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then you are a real member of a society that doesn't oppress, doesn't seek
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to overwhelm or completely conform, but a society doing its best to move
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forward in an age where change is becoming more and more rapid, and
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frightening a lot of people who couldn't dream of what you today take for
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granted and look down on those who can't do it as well as use.
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take some advice. stop. breathe. experience. learn. live.
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then take the hand of someone young or someone old, show them to that
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which i know and you know you love, and show them the wonders of what it is
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you know. watch them learn, and then watch you learn. and maybe then i
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won't have to write shit like this again.
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!!========================================================================!!
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!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #272 -- WRITTEN BY: CHARLIE -- 11/6/98 !!
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